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    I’m 20, in my 3rd year with no (real) friends and jobs.

    In uni’s, I thought I have at least a few friends I could always count on, but a recent event makes me realized what I thought is so wrong. In the end, all of them prioritized themselves above everyone else. I’m still in shock as of now bcs I thought all this 3 years we were together makes our friendship strong, but turns out everyone is just as individualistic as they can be.

    I feel like I’ve been in lukewarm zone all this time, where my eyes were blinded with all of the good things and when I realized, suddenly they all left me in the desert.

    And this leads to another self-destruction thought.

    I did have few real friends back there. But they all retreated, I feel the biggest factor is that I always turns up to them whenever sth bad happens in my life. I know that is what friends supposed to, to share own feelings and be true about it. But the thing is, there’re too many of bad things happening in my life so I’m always the one who need them to listen up to my stories while they only share their stories once in a while

    I feel bcs I always tell bad things happened to me, and frequently, they become tired of me and my always-negative stories so they decided to retreat from being my real friends. Bcs who wants listen to negativity that maybe could ruined their moods as well right?

    I feel like I’ve disappoint my real friends. Like you can find only few real friends in your life, but bcs of your own fault, they go away from your life forever.

    In the end, the only person(s) I could count on is my own family. I know stories of families members could betray and do cruel things too but I don’t think my family will do that to me, especially my own parents.

    About jobs,

    I don’t have any jobs while uni’s friends had jobs they could be proud to. Even thou there’re only a few who had already started work and having a job, it stills makes them ‘shinier’ than most of us bcs they could stated that they’re one step ahead from us while the rest of us still have no job and no income.

    I know I sounds very cocky but I don’t like working as office employee no matter how big the salary is bcs I don’t like working under someone’s order. So that left me with one option, to work on my own, opening my own business. But the thing is, I don’t know what kind of business I should working on.

    I do have a hobby that’s basically what I’m doing everyday and that is drawing, but I didn’t think my current skills is enough to make the payment become my number one source of income. And given the current situation where I’m left with only a year before I graduate, I feel it’s not enough time to rapidly grow my skills to become as what you call professionals. Someone might say “nothing is impossible as long as you practice as hard as you can” but you have to be realistic too.

    To this point, I don’t have any real questions but feel free to say whatever you want with my situations.
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    (Original post by Ishinov)
    I’m 20, in my 3rd year with no (real) friends and jobs.

    In uni’s, I thought I have at least a few friends I could always count on, but a recent event makes me realized what I thought is so wrong. In the end, all of them prioritized themselves above everyone else. I’m still in shock as of now bcs I thought all this 3 years we were together makes our friendship strong, but turns out everyone is just as individualistic as they can be.

    I feel like I’ve been in lukewarm zone all this time, where my eyes were blinded with all of the good things and when I realized, suddenly they all left me in the desert.

    And this leads to another self-destruction thought.

    I did have few real friends back there. But they all redrawing, I feel the biggest factor is that I always turns up to them whenever sth bad happens in my life. I know that is what friends supposed to, to share own feelings and be true about it. But the thing is, there’re too many of bad things happening in my life so I’m always the one who need them to listen up to my stories while they only share their stories once in a while

    I feel bcs I always tell bad things happened to me, and frequently, they become tired of me and my always-negative stories so they decided to redraw from being my real friends. Bcs who wants listen to negativity that maybe could ruined their moods as well right?

    I feel like I’ve disappoint my real friends. Like you can find only few real friends in your life, but bcs of your own fault, they go away from your life forever.

    In the end, the only person(s) I could count on is my own family. I know stories of families members could betray and do cruel things too but I don’t think my family will do that to me, especially my own parents.

    About jobs,

    I don’t have any jobs while uni’s friends had jobs they could be proud to. Even thou there’re only a few who had already started work and having a job, it stills makes them ‘shinier’ than most of us bcs they could stated that they’re one step ahead from us while the rest of us still have no job and no income.

    I know I sounds very cocky but I don’t like working as office employee no matter how big the salary is bcs I don’t like working under someone’s order. So that left me with one option, to work on my own, opening my own business. But the thing is, I don’t know what kind of business I should working on.

    I do have a hobby that’s basically what I’m doing everyday and that is drawing, but I didn’t think my current skills is enough to make the payment become my number one source of income. And given the current situation where I’m left with only a year before I graduate, I feel it’s not enough time to rapidly grow my skills to become as what you call professionals. Someone might say “nothing is impossible as long as you practice as hard as you can” but you have to be realistic too.

    To this point, I don’t have any real questions but feel free to say whatever you want with my situations.
    All i can say is you remind me of how i was in my 2nd year of BSc, until 3rd year where i accepted the way things were and could not lie to myself. point is, accept that you won't have friends, for a while at least. please, i have not had a decent friend for 9 or so years. even now i don't really think any of those friends i speak of really cared to begin with...i guess i always gave them second chances when what i should have done is to scream and fight xD anyway, being white eastern european would not help me haha anyway, point is life is tough. you are 20 and i feel that is normal. you are not going out, bashing your head, getting into trouble and what not. all i can say is, be honest with yourself before it is too late. quit relying on people, you are not weak and you know that. and hey, about the job thing, i too am jobless. i sooner rather have an office job than to be a cleaner xD you just have to bite the bullet and move on. it is painful, but once you have that experience of loss and gain, you will see what i am talking about.

    for me it was getting lost, disappointed by my lecturers and just generally battling it out with myself as to what to do next. don't lie to yourself about your needs and wants. if you can do something about it, plan and then do. student unions are a freaking joke, it is like they hired all the goons and girls to represent an empty promise....boy idk how the hell i passed with my *****y 2.2 degree...but i passed, which is important for the master's if i ever manage to do it.

    believe in yourself, for when you find yourself hungry, alone, sleepy and so on, only you can do something about it. friends? ha, i used to believe in that, but that is because i was too weak to believe in myself. not to say that i am any more positive or arrogant, but don't force relationships. be casual and you will see. all the best of luck mate.
 
 
 
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