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Dreading going home
This isnt really a massive problem as such, I just need somewhere to vent how i'm feeling at the moment.
Basically Ive just finished my first year of uni and although it had its highs and lows, I'm pretty much really happy and settled there now. I have to move out of halls in a week and Im feeling really sad about it. Initially I didnt get on that well with my flatmates but as the year has gone on I now feel quite close to all of them and Im gonna miss them alot over the summer. I'm not living with them next year either and that makes it even worse. I'm gonna miss little things like getting ready with them for a night out and chatting to them in their rooms etc. I can still see them next year as they'll be living about 20mins away but its not the same and Im worried we'll drift apart.
I met my boyfriend at uni and we've been going out for about a month now. I really like him and we get on so well - we spend almost every night together and I know I'll miss him so much over the summer. We live about an hour and a half away from eachother and I suppose we could meet up but it'll be difficult because of money issues and also because he'll be working fulltime. I would invite him to stay at mine but my mum is very funny about boyfriends staying over and I dont want to have to deal with an awkward conversation. He doesnt know much about my family life and I want to keep it that way. I want him to know me for how I am at uni, if that makes sense. I dont want him to know about my family, as they're quite dysfunctional and theres alot of past baggage involved there. (I havent mentioned this obviously and I doubt I will for quite a while)
I also dont want to leave uni for the summer coz of my home life. I have always had alot of family problems and its nice to have my own life somewhere away from all that. I know that when I get home I'll be stressed out again from all the stuff thats going on. At uni I can forget about all that and have fun. The friends I have at uni are also generally much better than the ones I have at home (who dont really bother with me). I just know I'm gonna be so bored without the nights out I have with my uni friends. The prospect of 3 months of boredom is getting me down.
I dunno, I guess I just wanted to get it all out somewhere. Most of my friends are looking forward to going home but I'm dreading it. I want things to stay like they are now but I know it'll never be the same. I'll never live in this room again with these people and be in this situation. I have a feeling next year wont be that good either because I wont have the same brilliant flatmates and I'll have a heavy workload. Im also worried about the relationship with my boyfriend lasting for 3 months of little contact.
Sorry for the essay but I'm feeling really down. Just feel like its going to be a difficult summer.
Basically Ive just finished my first year of uni and although it had its highs and lows, I'm pretty much really happy and settled there now. I have to move out of halls in a week and Im feeling really sad about it. Initially I didnt get on that well with my flatmates but as the year has gone on I now feel quite close to all of them and Im gonna miss them alot over the summer. I'm not living with them next year either and that makes it even worse. I'm gonna miss little things like getting ready with them for a night out and chatting to them in their rooms etc. I can still see them next year as they'll be living about 20mins away but its not the same and Im worried we'll drift apart.
I met my boyfriend at uni and we've been going out for about a month now. I really like him and we get on so well - we spend almost every night together and I know I'll miss him so much over the summer. We live about an hour and a half away from eachother and I suppose we could meet up but it'll be difficult because of money issues and also because he'll be working fulltime. I would invite him to stay at mine but my mum is very funny about boyfriends staying over and I dont want to have to deal with an awkward conversation. He doesnt know much about my family life and I want to keep it that way. I want him to know me for how I am at uni, if that makes sense. I dont want him to know about my family, as they're quite dysfunctional and theres alot of past baggage involved there. (I havent mentioned this obviously and I doubt I will for quite a while)
I also dont want to leave uni for the summer coz of my home life. I have always had alot of family problems and its nice to have my own life somewhere away from all that. I know that when I get home I'll be stressed out again from all the stuff thats going on. At uni I can forget about all that and have fun. The friends I have at uni are also generally much better than the ones I have at home (who dont really bother with me). I just know I'm gonna be so bored without the nights out I have with my uni friends. The prospect of 3 months of boredom is getting me down.
I dunno, I guess I just wanted to get it all out somewhere. Most of my friends are looking forward to going home but I'm dreading it. I want things to stay like they are now but I know it'll never be the same. I'll never live in this room again with these people and be in this situation. I have a feeling next year wont be that good either because I wont have the same brilliant flatmates and I'll have a heavy workload. Im also worried about the relationship with my boyfriend lasting for 3 months of little contact.
Sorry for the essay but I'm feeling really down. Just feel like its going to be a difficult summer.
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When I finished my first year I didn't have very much to go back to at home. I was feeling pretty down about being ill. You will get through it. It will be hard, but you adapted to things moving away from home at uni. Use the new independence you have gained to make things different for yourself when you go home, maybe do some charity work, get a job, go travelling if you can. Make orange juice out of some oranges, but please, please, don't spend all day in bed thinking about how bad things are at home; you have a potentially great summer ahead of you! YOu can always chat to your bf on msn or email!
Best wishes.
Best wishes.
I find that a lot of people feel the same way at the end of the academic year and then take a week or so to settle in back at home and feel fine afterwards. 
If you're feeling down, keep yourself busy and surrounded by friends and you'll probably soon cheer up. You'll have the return to university to look forward to the whole time.
If you're feeling down, keep yourself busy and surrounded by friends and you'll probably soon cheer up. You'll have the return to university to look forward to the whole time.
Reply 5
It will take a while to get used to. I am not really looking forward to going back home either. (Family drives me crazy, lack of freedom, not many old friends at home, boyfriend from uni lives at the other end of the country) You need to find ways to make time go by quickly rather than sitting around feeling sorry for yourself and being bored. Go see old friends, have days out to places you haven't been to for ages, even if you can't see your boyfriend much chat on skype/msn and plan what you will do together when back at uni, get a job...Keep busy and the weeks will disappear! And don't worry if you make effort and it is mean't to be then your relationship with your boyfriend will survive the holidays...just think of how happy you will be to get back to uni and be together again, it might just help get you through the holidays.
Yeah, I know exactly how you feel! I'm really having a down day today about it. My parents moved to Canada when I went to uni, so going home involves going out there to see them. While most people think it's amazing I get to go out there for 4 months, I hated it last year. Both my parents and my brother have made a life for themselves out there, and have friends etc. However, I knew no one, and really felt left out when my friends from home emailed me telling me all the things they were up to together. I also don't know the little things, and although I learnt them (like how to use the money, where to go to get lightbulbs, whatever) it tooks ages. I got a job, but it was really boring and I hated working there. Although I have my English driving licence, my parents don't trust me with the car there, so I was pretty much stuck at home all summer. Having moved out into student houses in my second year, I feel even more at home here. I've also recently started seeing someone too, and I'm really going to miss everyone so much!
I did try to apply for placements this year in Cardiff, but they've fallen through, and it's looking like I'm heading back to Canada again for the summer. I also think I did quite badly in 2 exams, so might be facing having to fly back for resits. Because of this my parents have decided not to take me on holiday with them, in case I'm not around to go. So I'm really feeling like I have nothing to look forward to (except my 3rd year at uni!).
I know once I get there and get on with it, and really make an effort to do things and have a good summer it won't be so bad, but at the mo I'm just really dreading it. So don't feel like you're alone- once you get that taste of freedom and have a chance to make a life of your own it's difficult to go back!
I did try to apply for placements this year in Cardiff, but they've fallen through, and it's looking like I'm heading back to Canada again for the summer. I also think I did quite badly in 2 exams, so might be facing having to fly back for resits. Because of this my parents have decided not to take me on holiday with them, in case I'm not around to go. So I'm really feeling like I have nothing to look forward to (except my 3rd year at uni!).
I know once I get there and get on with it, and really make an effort to do things and have a good summer it won't be so bad, but at the mo I'm just really dreading it. So don't feel like you're alone- once you get that taste of freedom and have a chance to make a life of your own it's difficult to go back!
Reply 7
Your parents suck djk_99
Reply 8
Being at home sucks for me too. I dropped out of uni at the end of last term so was kicked out of halls and I decided to move in with friends as I couldn't face going home. My bad relationship with my parents was my fault and I wasn't ready to apologise (I prefer to be honest but it was an illness I'm not yet over that caused me to act in the way that led to my family issues). Also I am nowhere near ready to forgive them for their part in what happened.
Basically, that illness became really bad again whilst I was away from home and I acted in the same way. I was kicked out by my friends' landlord on grounds of this illness and sent back home to recover. The illness hasn't got better, in fact it got worse as I promised I wouldn't let it influence my actions, however much I feel what it is telling me to do is what I should do. My parents don't understand the illness and often judge me for responding in the way I did (I also have other problems as a result). I hope your situation is not as bad as mine but I guess I was trying to say that you are not alone.
Basically, that illness became really bad again whilst I was away from home and I acted in the same way. I was kicked out by my friends' landlord on grounds of this illness and sent back home to recover. The illness hasn't got better, in fact it got worse as I promised I wouldn't let it influence my actions, however much I feel what it is telling me to do is what I should do. My parents don't understand the illness and often judge me for responding in the way I did (I also have other problems as a result). I hope your situation is not as bad as mine but I guess I was trying to say that you are not alone.
Reply 9
If you want to strengthen your relationship with your boyfriend, you'd be better off telling him what your home life is like. Although it might seem tempting at the moment to pretend everything is wonderful, it can get incredibly wearing after a while. And if you have problems at home and you're upset, it's much better if you can explain to your boyfriend why you're unhappy, rather than have him think you're just a moody cow, or that it's something to do with him.
Make the effort to go and see him at weekends. An hour and a half isn't that far away, and if you get a job you'll be able to afford it easily. Try getting some shifts in a local pub. This can be quite fun and sociable, and a good way to meet people.
Also, don't worry about not living with your flatmates next year. Firstly, if they're that great, you will make the effort to meet up. And secondly, one of the best things about university is that you're constantly meeting new people. I have loads of really good friends that I didn't even meet until 2nd year. Furthermore, there's a girl I was friends with in halls but didn't end up living with this year even though I wanted to, and although we do different courses and haven't seen all that much of each other this year, next year we will be living together again, and I can't wait. I know it's sad moving out of halls and knowing that things won't be the same any more, but most people I know (including me) seem to think that second year is generally better than first year.
Make the effort to go and see him at weekends. An hour and a half isn't that far away, and if you get a job you'll be able to afford it easily. Try getting some shifts in a local pub. This can be quite fun and sociable, and a good way to meet people.
Also, don't worry about not living with your flatmates next year. Firstly, if they're that great, you will make the effort to meet up. And secondly, one of the best things about university is that you're constantly meeting new people. I have loads of really good friends that I didn't even meet until 2nd year. Furthermore, there's a girl I was friends with in halls but didn't end up living with this year even though I wanted to, and although we do different courses and haven't seen all that much of each other this year, next year we will be living together again, and I can't wait. I know it's sad moving out of halls and knowing that things won't be the same any more, but most people I know (including me) seem to think that second year is generally better than first year.
Reply 10
The summer will be long and hard if you let it all get to you! Do things with your summer. Arrange a holiday with your bf. See if he can get a week off and go somewhere. maybe u could just go and stay with him for a few days, and do somthing while he works and and then do stuff in the evening. ive seen an advert for national coaches or whatever where long distance relations and students can get 1/3 off all trips by paying 10 quid a year.
its gona be weird but maybe u should explain to your parents that you are an adult now, and that they should be able to bring boyfriends home. im sure they will understand
its gona be weird but maybe u should explain to your parents that you are an adult now, and that they should be able to bring boyfriends home. im sure they will understand
Reply 11
Do you not have a job over the summer? I find that once I'm back in full time employment I don't have time to think about things like that cos I'm too busy! It is best to keep yourself busy, otherwise you will mope around missing your uni mates. You'll get used to being back after about a week.
Reply 12
most people seem gutted about going home, i rem last year reading people saying how they were dreading it and how much tye missed uni etc, try and find something to do like a job so that you don't have to waste time thinking about your friends etc. and maybe tell your bf at some point cos otherwise he might think ur being off with him or something...
Reply 13
Jesus, I can't wait to get home. I never understand how people can be more relaxed at uni than at home, uni is a nightmare.
Can you not just move straight in to wherever you're living next year and stay there? Don't you have to pay a year's rent anyway? And like everyone's said, get a job over summer then you can get out of the house and have money to go visit your boyfriend.
Can you not just move straight in to wherever you're living next year and stay there? Don't you have to pay a year's rent anyway? And like everyone's said, get a job over summer then you can get out of the house and have money to go visit your boyfriend.
Reply 14
puppy
I never understand how people can be more relaxed at uni than at home, uni is a nightmare.
not everyone has a great home life.
Reply 15
I hate going home, so i'm not. I've moved out for good. Much as my parents hate it.
Thanks for the advice everyone, feeling a bit better now.
I really want a job over the summer as I think it'd make the time go quicker and I could earn money at the same time, but I cant seem to find anything. I started applying for summer work and handing out cvs at Easter but have heard nothing. Even following it all up with phone calls hasnt worked so now I'm close to giving up tbh.
I cant move into next year's house until Sept, otherwise I'll have to pay twice as much rent as i would otherwise
but oh well I guess I'll have to make the best of this summer and enjoy it.
I really want a job over the summer as I think it'd make the time go quicker and I could earn money at the same time, but I cant seem to find anything. I started applying for summer work and handing out cvs at Easter but have heard nothing. Even following it all up with phone calls hasnt worked so now I'm close to giving up tbh.
I cant move into next year's house until Sept, otherwise I'll have to pay twice as much rent as i would otherwise
but oh well I guess I'll have to make the best of this summer and enjoy it. 
puppy
Jesus, I can't wait to get home. I never understand how people can be more relaxed at uni than at home, uni is a nightmare.
Unfortunately not everyone has happy memories of being at home. I needed to move away to look after myself and can't stay there for longer than a week. Is tay at my grandmothers which isn't perfect as there isn't much space but at least i have that option.
Everyone here always bangs on about going home and to me, home definetely isn't home anymore. Not in the way it used to be.
Reply 18
I didn't say anything about a happy home life or happy memories, I'd just rather be somewhere where I didn't have to work all day everyday. Lying around in the garden is rather more appealing than slaving over essays and I can just clear off for a whole day and go shopping which I never get time for at uni.
It's still my house, nevermind what happens there so it's more home to me than any random room I happen to be living in at uni.
It's still my house, nevermind what happens there so it's more home to me than any random room I happen to be living in at uni.
Reply 19
I have a house at uni, when the essays finish and exams i'll be in my own garden relaxing, without my mother nagging incessantly or my hate filled father tramping about looking for trouble. I'm free, i'm me and that's great.
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