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Help?! Feeling jealous is making me miserable. Watch

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    So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, known each other for two. We live together, I realise this may seem a bit soon but we agreed to live together before we become a couple and it's working out well. We never argue and so far it's all been fine. However, for the last five months I've started feel jealous, and although I know it is irrational to feel this way I can't help it and it's making me really anxious.
    He's the kind of person that is friends with everyone and has really close friends that are girls, in fact, one of his best and oldest friends is a girl. I was insanely jealous of their friendship, which I thought was fair enough, I mean they used to share a bed while we were together. (I told him I was uncomfortable with this and he was very understanding and didn't do it again). Even though I had this promise I felt very jealous, that was until I met her and realised how their friendship was just like any other friendship he has with guys. So that was fine, the feelings went away, but recently I've started to become jealous of the friendship he and our female housemate have formed. They spend a lot of time alone together chatting and laughing, just like me and him did when we first got together and recently at a party they snuck off together somewhere. Although I don't think anything happened I just can't help but feel uncomfortable with how close they are. I know I need to relax and stop letting these fears get me so down because I know deep down we're great together.
    We've briefly spoken about my feelings and because I know I'm being stupid, I try to cut the conversation short, but the truth is it really bothers me.
    I'm scared that if these feelings continue I won't be able to contain them and they will end up ruining our relation because he feel as though I'm accusing him.
    Any tips on how to banish these thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
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    Are you able to plan a special date night or weekend away to get out of the situation and remind yourself how strong your relationship is by spending time just the two of you?
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    (Original post by Ellie140494)
    So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, known each other for two. We live together, I realise this may seem a bit soon but we agreed to live together before we become a couple and it's working out well. We never argue and so far it's all been fine. However, for the last five months I've started feel jealous, and although I know it is irrational to feel this way I can't help it and it's making me really anxious.
    He's the kind of person that is friends with everyone and has really close friends that are girls, in fact, one of his best and oldest friends is a girl. I was insanely jealous of their friendship, which I thought was fair enough, I mean they used to share a bed while we were together. (I told him I was uncomfortable with this and he was very understanding and didn't do it again). Even though I had this promise I felt very jealous, that was until I met her and realised how their friendship was just like any other friendship he has with guys. So that was fine, the feelings went away, but recently I've started to become jealous of the friendship he and our female housemate have formed. They spend a lot of time alone together chatting and laughing, just like me and him did when we first got together and recently at a party they snuck off together somewhere. Although I don't think anything happened I just can't help but feel uncomfortable with how close they are. I know I need to relax and stop letting these fears get me so down because I know deep down we're great together.
    We've briefly spoken about my feelings and because I know I'm being stupid, I try to cut the conversation short, but the truth is it really bothers me.
    I'm scared that if these feelings continue I won't be able to contain them and they will end up ruining our relation because he feel as though I'm accusing him.
    Any tips on how to banish these thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
    Think you need to have a life with your friends, at the end of the day he's still got to have his own life, you don't want him to feel suffocated.
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    I know we really tend to be threatened of other girls presence of our boyfriend. It's normal, its part of being a girl. For me also, I will not be comfortable of the closeness of my bf with other girls. But I love so much myself too that whenever he does not want me anymore, the door is always open. I don't like begging someone's love. I will try to have my own life too.
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    (Original post by Ellie140494)
    So I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now, known each other for two. We live together, I realise this may seem a bit soon but we agreed to live together before we become a couple and it's working out well. We never argue and so far it's all been fine. However, for the last five months I've started feel jealous, and although I know it is irrational to feel this way I can't help it and it's making me really anxious.
    He's the kind of person that is friends with everyone and has really close friends that are girls, in fact, one of his best and oldest friends is a girl. I was insanely jealous of their friendship, which I thought was fair enough, I mean they used to share a bed while we were together. (I told him I was uncomfortable with this and he was very understanding and didn't do it again). Even though I had this promise I felt very jealous, that was until I met her and realised how their friendship was just like any other friendship he has with guys. So that was fine, the feelings went away, but recently I've started to become jealous of the friendship he and our female housemate have formed. They spend a lot of time alone together chatting and laughing, just like me and him did when we first got together and recently at a party they snuck off together somewhere. Although I don't think anything happened I just can't help but feel uncomfortable with how close they are. I know I need to relax and stop letting these fears get me so down because I know deep down we're great together.
    We've briefly spoken about my feelings and because I know I'm being stupid, I try to cut the conversation short, but the truth is it really bothers me.
    I'm scared that if these feelings continue I won't be able to contain them and they will end up ruining our relation because he feel as though I'm accusing him.
    Any tips on how to banish these thoughts would be greatly appreciated!
    What? He feels accused yet he shared a bed with another girl whilst you were dating?

    Your jealousy is justified. Being friends with girls is okay but there are boundaries... sneaking off together at a party is not okay.
    You should talk to him and tell him what your thoughts really are and how it makes you feel. Make sure you enjoy life without him too.
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    Ok having seen the bit where he shares a bed, that makes it more justified to be more worried.
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    Sorry, but why did he sleep in the same bed as her again? And they snuck away to a party? I would be majorly concerned if I were you and would gladly rip her hair out and give him a stern talking to. In fact, he's not allowed to have a best 'girl' friend, tf is that? He can have friends of the opposite sex but a best girl friend simply doesn't do it for me. Give him an ultimatum-you or the best friend.
    • #2
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    You should try asking him how he would feel if the situation was the other way around. Most of the time people do stupid stuff like this because they arent thinking how they would feel if it was happening to them
 
 
 
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