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    I will admit, this is the first time i'm doing this (sorry for the length), so bear with me. I'm only doing this, because quite frankly i've exhausted all resources or counsellors close to me without rousing any attention (i.e. asked extremely close friends on what to do; and even gone as far as googling to see if anyone is in similar positions to me). I'm also doing this behind anon (or should be) because some of the people on here go to my uni and have met my girlfriend. Here we go..

    got a gf at uni, turns out she's an insecure, controlling, manipulative ***** who when drunk looses all types of self-control and takes it all out on those close to her. she has a type of: 'mean-sweet-mean' cycle. at the start it was bliss. couldn't imagine i'd met someone like her. then she started getting violent (emotionally) and telling me stories of violent instances (which i think would be a type of scare tactic?). we'd get home after a night out; and she'd start having a go at me for dancing close to other girls (random people. crowded club. go figure); looking at other girls; standing close to other girls and then guilt-tripping me by using the fact that she 'loves' me to stop me leaving. one night, she went to the toilets, came back found a girl who wanted to buy me drinks; then at home, had a two hour rant at me for even holding a convo with the girl (i was trying to turn her down like i said). she thinks, if a girl talks to me, i should shout at her face until girl leaves. i'm not violent like that; and despite the fact that time after time i come back home to and with her; she doesn't trust me. at all.
    then afterwards, she paid for trip to cardiff (spent £300 on me in a weekend); but couldn't deal with the fact other girls were hitting on me (she hates making new friends) and the same thing happened. i figure because she got raped in the past and subsequently cheated on twice by her ex; that, that was the reason for her insecurity. recently, she's gotten controlling not allowing me to have female friends (gave one of those friends a hug and she had a go at me in public in front of her friends and family); ultra defensive, belittles me, seeks Constant validation; holds grudges, over-reacts with any little thing; an unnatural temper; prevents me from having outside interests when she's at mine; anything i do isn't enough for her; always felt like i was on egg-shells with her; extremely entitled and it's depressed me that she's like this. in addition, she'd turn anything i did; into an attempt to leave her/for other girls. be it learning how to dance/guitar skills etc. for my second relationship, this is toxic and i'm quite devasted tbh.
    at this point i asked close friends what to do, the consensus being to break up with her and become her friend; but to then leave if she didn't show any signs of becoming a better person (i.e. going to counselling/seeking help). it is also at this point i brought up the matter to her and she 'promised' to seek help/become a better person. spoilers: she didn't. in fact, after suggesting that she seeks help; she literally shouted at me saying she'd break up with me if i brought it up again and accused me of calling her a freak/mental person who deserves to be in an institute. i'm only doing this to make her a better person.
    After asking her why she's like this she said that whenever she's with me, she feels to compete with everyone else; sighting the fact that i'm younger than her meaning (to her) that she can't hold me down. what do i do? do i take the advice and become a friend and leave her?
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    Ouch, dump and friend. Doesn't sound stable so try not to die in the process.
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    Inb4 carded for taking users away from TSR and promoting other websites.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will admit, this is the first time i'm doing this (sorry for the length), so bear with me. I'm only doing this, because quite frankly i've exhausted all resources or counsellors close to me without rousing any attention (i.e. asked extremely close friends on what to do; and even gone as far as googling to see if anyone is in similar positions to me). I'm also doing this behind anon (or should be) because some of the people on here go to my uni and have met my girlfriend. Here we go..

    got a gf at uni, turns out she's an insecure, controlling, manipulative ***** who when drunk looses all types of self-control and takes it all out on those close to her. she has a type of: 'mean-sweet-mean' cycle. at the start it was bliss. couldn't imagine i'd met someone like her. then she started getting violent (emotionally) and telling me stories of violent instances (which i think would be a type of scare tactic?). we'd get home after a night out; and she'd start having a go at me for dancing close to other girls (random people. crowded club. go figure); looking at other girls; standing close to other girls and then guilt-tripping me by using the fact that she 'loves' me to stop me leaving. one night, she went to the toilets, came back found a girl who wanted to buy me drinks; then at home, had a two hour rant at me for even holding a convo with the girl (i was trying to turn her down like i said). she thinks, if a girl talks to me, i should shout at her face until girl leaves. i'm not violent like that; and despite the fact that time after time i come back home to and with her; she doesn't trust me. at all.
    then afterwards, she paid for trip to cardiff (spent £300 on me in a weekend); but couldn't deal with the fact other girls were hitting on me (she hates making new friends) and the same thing happened. i figure because she got raped in the past and subsequently cheated on twice by her ex; that, that was the reason for her insecurity. recently, she's gotten controlling not allowing me to have female friends (gave one of those friends a hug and she had a go at me in public in front of her friends and family); ultra defensive, belittles me, seeks Constant validation; holds grudges, over-reacts with any little thing; an unnatural temper; prevents me from having outside interests when she's at mine; anything i do isn't enough for her; always felt like i was on egg-shells with her; extremely entitled and it's depressed me that she's like this. in addition, she'd turn anything i did; into an attempt to leave her/for other girls. be it learning how to dance/guitar skills etc. for my second relationship, this is toxic and i'm quite devasted tbh.
    at this point i asked close friends what to do, the consensus being to break up with her and become her friend; but to then leave if she didn't show any signs of becoming a better person (i.e. going to counselling/seeking help). it is also at this point i brought up the matter to her and she 'promised' to seek help/become a better person. spoilers: she didn't. in fact, after suggesting that she seeks help; she literally shouted at me saying she'd break up with me if i brought it up again and accused me of calling her a freak/mental person who deserves to be in an institute. i'm only doing this to make her a better person.
    After asking her why she's like this she said that whenever she's with me, she feels to compete with everyone else; sighting the fact that i'm younger than her meaning (to her) that she can't hold me down. what do i do? do i take the advice and become a friend and leave her?
    then DO IT if you really want to change her do it, if you want to leave her then DO IT, you're not gonna gain anything from being with this manipulative person.

    she can't hold you down and has no power to, besides the power of guilt tripping and her manipulative words, but apart from that for all she knows you could just leave her for someone else. so either you leave and destroy what's left of her heart or you carry on and fix her and become man and wife ^-^

    personally i would say that if she can't change and stop being so jealous and suspicious of me then i would leave, dude you need to have girls as friends not just a gf, i don't think it's normal to have just all male friends i'm sure almost everyone has had friends with the opposite sex so y'know.

    but yea doesn't sound like you 2 are fit to be a couple.... or even partners...
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Inb4 carded for taking users away from TSR and promoting other websites.

    my bad :P was more focused on getting what i wanted to say out; rather than worrying about the title lool
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    I ain't reading all that
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    (Original post by thefatone)
    then DO IT if you really want to change her do it, if you want to leave her then DO IT, you're not gonna gain anything from being with this manipulative person.

    she can't hold you down and has no power to, besides the power of guilt tripping and her manipulative words, but apart from that for all she knows you could just leave her for someone else. so either you leave and destroy what's left of her heart or you carry on and fix her and become man and wife ^-^

    personally i would say that if she can't change and stop being so jealous and suspicious of me then i would leave, dude you need to have girls as friends not just a gf, i don't think it's normal to have just all male friends i'm sure almost everyone has had friends with the opposite sex so y'know.

    but yea doesn't sound like you 2 are fit to be a couple.... or even partners...
    thanks for your input i appreciate the time.
    that's the thing. i've actually grown to love and respect this woman (before all her manipulative side kicked in). and frankly i blame myself for not being able to see this.

    i have tried to fix her. all i possibly could. i mean, realistically, what more can be done apart from suggesting to go with her to a counsellor? and from trying everything i can to get her to trust me? befriending her friends; family and all those close to her, to show her i'm not a threat? (they all love me btw. every single one.. for some reason )

    Ironically, i do have female friends (loads; i'm a very social person, as i take an active part in 4 societies and perform at gigs/weddings e.t.c in a band); i've just not really introduced most of them to her mostly because i had an inkling that she'd be jealous; which was confirmed when i saw her reaction when i hugged that random female friend.
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    (Original post by Start the Fire)
    I ain't reading all that


    tldr: met amazing chick (loads in common). fell in love. found out her terrible past (got raped when younger and couple years after cheated on twice by her ex). she got manipulative, controlling, extremely jealous. e.g. goes through my facebook and texts more than i. close friend suggests that i leave her if she doesn't change/want to; but she 'promised' to change.
    she didn't, isn't interested and doesn't want to change or seek help or counselling. i want your thoughts.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    thanks for your input i appreciate the time.
    that's the thing. i've actually grown to love and respect this woman (before all her manipulative side kicked in). and frankly i blame myself for not being able to see this.

    i have tried to fix her. all i possibly could. i mean, realistically, what more can be done apart from suggesting to go with her to a counsellor? and from trying everything i can to get her to trust me? befriending her friends; family and all those close to her, to show her i'm not a threat? (they all love me btw. every single one.. for some reason )

    Ironically, i do have female friends (loads; i'm a very social person, as i take an active part in 4 societies and perform at gigs/weddings e.t.c in a band); i've just not really introduced most of them to her mostly because i had an inkling that she'd be jealous; which was confirmed when i saw her reaction when i hugged that random female friend.
    well, we all make mistakes and yea, not much you can do about it
    if she's not willing to change then something will, be it you or her....
    obvs they want your D
    well i don't see anything wrong with having female friends if your male and have a gf.(i like to cut things close to the line)
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    tldr: met amazing chick (loads in common). fell in love. found out her terrible past (got raped when younger and couple years after cheated on twice by her ex). she got manipulative, controlling, extremely jealous. e.g. goes through my facebook and texts more than i. close friend suggests that i leave her if she doesn't change/want to; but she 'promised' to change.
    she didn't, isn't interested and doesn't want to change or seek help or counselling. i want your thoughts.
    Oh right, that's a classic case of a sociopath.

    Many girls claim to have been raped in order to victimise themselves so they can manipulate their boyfriends.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    my bad :P was more focused on getting what i wanted to say out; rather than worrying about the title lool
    I'm only kidding anyway. I would read and respond constructively but am brain dead rn.
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    (Original post by Start the Fire)
    Oh right, that's a classic case of a sociopath.

    Many girls claim to have been raped in order to victimise themselves so they can manipulate their boyfriends.
    sociopath? for real? what would she gain from doing so? i'm not anyone important for that to even have a modicurm of effect on anything..

    o.0
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    sociopath? for real? what would she gain from doing so? i'm not anyone important for that to even have a modicurm of effect on anything..

    o.0
    Damaged woman probably
 
 
 
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