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    hghthrhthhr
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    Inexorably this person would like to know if it's good enough for a B
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    (Original post by sammio)
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    Do you need corrections or are you just asking a general overview of how good it is?
    --
    Okay I now reread the very first sentence you put (A)
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    (Original post by Eternalflames)
    Inexorably this person would like to know if it's good enough for a B
    Lmaoo I was already on the thread haha, thank you for mentioning me though
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Lmaoo I was already on the thread haha, thank you for mentioning me though
    Lol :lol:
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Do you need corrections or are you just asking a general overview of how good it is?
    Just an overview

    thanks
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    (Original post by sammio)
    Just an overview

    thanks
    From what I've read is does seem like a really good answer content-wise. You've expressed a lot of opinions and developed some answers, and I'm going to assume you've addressed the question well (what is the question ?) Not really sure about the structure sorry x).

    There are a few areas where you could expand more, e.g.

    Man soll funf portionen Obst und Gemuse essen, und mann muss viel wasser trinken. Gesund heit ist sehr wichtig, besonders wenn mann junge sind. - why is it important?

    You've used a fair amount of specific vocab as well + you've used some advanced grammar (e.g. wäre...).

    Though as a fair warning, I know you wanted comments on content, but you will really suffer in terms of accuracy. There are a fair amount of grammatical & word order mistakes which will affect how difficult it is for the examiner to read your essay and thus will drag both of your accuracy and content mark down a bit.

    I guess it would be a C/B, but unfortunately I haven't done GCSE for a long time (I do AS Level). so I couldn't say for definite.

    TheOtherSide. could shed another opinion
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    From what I've read is does seem like a really good answer content-wise. You've expressed a lot of opinions and developed some answers, and I'm going to assume you've addressed the question well (what is the question ?) Not really sure about the structure sorry x).

    There are a few areas where you could expand more, e.g.

    Man soll funf portionen Obst und Gemuse essen, und mann muss viel wasser trinken. Gesund heit ist sehr wichtig, besonders wenn mann junge sind. - why is it important?

    You've used a fair amount of specific vocab as well + you've used some advanced grammar (e.g. wäre...).

    Though as a fair warning, I know you wanted comments on content, but you will really suffer in terms of accuracy. There are a fair amount of grammatical & word order mistakes which will affect how difficult it is for the examiner to read your essay and thus will drag both of your accuracy and content mark down a bit.

    I guess it would be a C/B, but unfortunately I haven't done GCSE for a long time (I do AS Level). so I couldn't say for definite.

    TheOtherSide. could shed another opinion
    Thanks
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    (Original post by sammio)
    Is this good enough for a B, based solely on content?

    Zum frustuck liebe Ich frustucks cearlien aber es ist nichts so gesund, besonders mit viel zucker. Zum mittagessen muss mann Im kantine esse, meine meinung nach das essen ist schlecht.
    Gestern abends habe ich hanchen mit gemuse, es war fast todlich aber ich haben trotzdem es gegessen. Ich habe viel wasser getrunken, wiel der geschmack nicht lecker war. Ich habe nicht Nachtisch gegessen, weil Ich krank filzen.
    Jeden tag um gesund zu bleiben esse Ich viel obst und gemuse, gehe auch oft Joggen. Man soll funf portionen Obst und Gemuse essen, und mann muss viel wasser trinken. Gesund heit ist sehr wichtig, besonders wenn mann junge sind.
    In der zukunft werde Ich mehr karroten essen, weil sie sehr gesund sind, obwohl sie nicht so lecker sind. Ich werde zweimal pro tag joggen, statt joggen einmal pro tag. Es werde shwerig aber nötig sein.
    Ich mache selten sport, aber Ich bin immer nach sehr aktiv, zum bespiel, Ich mache viele spaziergang.
    Letztes wochenende um gesund zu belieben, habe ich viel Tennis und fussball gespielt. ich habe zu chillen wenige zeit. (I have little time to relax).
    Als ich junge war, habe ich Fußball, aber ich habe es vor vier Jahren aufgaben. Obwohl kürzlich Ich begann Golf spielen, es ist besser als Fußball, weil es viel mehr langsam ist. Ich spiel selten Tennis, aber ich spiele einmal pro Monat.
    wenn ich uberwinden meine furcht von Höhen, würde ich Fallschirmspringen ausprobieren. Das wåre ein toll Geschichte sein.
    Im allgemeinen lebe ich ziemlich gesund, weil ich um viertel nach fünf immer joggen. Ich auch, esse viel Obst und Gemüse,weil mein eltern mag es. Ich habe viel Taschengeld pro woche!
    In der Zukunft konnte ich versuchen, besser zu schlafen, statt machen meine hausaufgaben verspätet. Das ware sehr vorteilhaft, aber sehr schwierig fur mich.
    Ich bin manchmal wegen der Schule gestresst, weil ich bald prufungen habe. Meine profugen sind sehr wichtig, weil sie werden arbeiten finden helfen.
    Um den stress zu reduzieren man konnte, mit einem Lehrer sprechen, weil die Lehrer sind sehr hilfreich.
    Meiner Meinung sind Zigaretten ungesund, aber ein wenige zeit ist nicht tödlich. Trotzdem aber sie konnen Lungenkrebs verursachen.
    Ich glaube dass Alkohol ist sehr ungesund, weil es kann den lebe schädigen, es auch sehr unsozial.
    meine meinung nach drogen sind leben zerstören. Ich bin total gegen drogen, weil man suchtig werden kann und sie schaden die gesundheit.
    Ich glaube dass Alkohol ist das groste Problem fur jugendliche, weil zu viel leute alkahol benutze und es leicht zugänglich ist. Auch Alkohol ist wirklich teuer, besonders fur mich!

    When you talk about what you did when you were younger, you needed to go to the imperfect tense and like the God of German said above, you have quite a few problems with word order, one I noticed was "Meiner meinung nach" the verb should go straight after
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    (Original post by ScienceFantatic)
    When you talk about what you did when you were younger, you needed to go to the imperfect tense and like the other poster says, you have quite a eww problems with word order, one I noticed was "Meiner meinung nach" the verb should go straight after
    Is that all I am to you?! :'(

    And yes the imperfect = great (at GCSE certainly)
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
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    sammio

    Basically what Inexorably said - if you ignored all of the inaccuracies, then yes, this should be good enough to get a B, but I really do think that the mistakes will bring your grade down.

    Otherwise, have you considered using the perfect conditional tense as well, or using German idioms, if you haven't included any yet? The latter will make your speaking sound more authentic.
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    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Is that all I am to you?! :'(

    And yes the imperfect = great (at GCSE certainly)
    Edited
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    (Original post by ScienceFantatic)
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    LOL I disagree but thank you !
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    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    sammio

    Basically what Inexorably said - if you ignored all of the inaccuracies, then yes, this should be good enough to get a B, but I really do think that the mistakes will bring your grade down.

    Otherwise, have you considered using the perfect conditional tense as well, or using German idioms, if you haven't included any yet? The latter will make your speaking sound more authentic.
    Please could you tell me where I can find German Idioms?
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    (Original post by sammio)
    Please could you tell me where I can find German Idioms?
    I'm sure you could just google and find some idioms, but here are some webpages you might want to look at:
    http://german.about.com/library/blredew_intro.htm
    http://www.fluentu.com/german/blog/c...german-idioms/
    http://translationjournal.net/journa...n-glossary.htm
 
 
 
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