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Depressed and lonely
I'm currently a medic in my 3rd year at university in Leeds. throughout my years in medical school i have not been able to make a single friend, all the fellow medic friends i had have drifted away for one reason or the other. It all started in my second year when I chose to live with a few medics I had only known for the first few months of uni; long story short things didn't work out and they were bulling me as a group (painting on my door) and talking about me in the kitchen etc. I couldn't handle the situation and moved out of my accommodation within two months to live alone in a private student halls. This year is no different I have had to live in a private halls with random international flatmates with whom I have no communication; as everyone I have asked has their own groups, I am doing the same thing next year. My only friend at university was my flatmate from 1st year who is on a year abroad at the moment, besides him the rest are acquaintances. I just feel so alone and am far away from family back home (I'm from London). Things have gotten so bad I feel like leaving my course, although its not the course thats the issue its just all the other contextual factors. I have had depression on and off since starting uni and have seen counsellors and a psychologist but nothing has really helped me to tackle my issues and be genuinely happy. I feel like I am stuck in a rut and have to make the next couple of years bearable, as tempting as it is to pack up and leave I really do not want to give up on completing the course.
I don't know what it will achieve me posting this, but i just wanted some advice really?
I don't know what it will achieve me posting this, but i just wanted some advice really?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm currently a medic in my 3rd year at university in Leeds. throughout my years in medical school i have not been able to make a single friend, all the fellow medic friends i had have drifted away for one reason or the other. It all started in my second year when I chose to live with a few medics I had only known for the first few months of uni; long story short things didn't work out and they were bulling me as a group (painting on my door) and talking about me in the kitchen etc. I couldn't handle the situation and moved out of my accommodation within two months to live alone in a private student halls. This year is no different I have had to live in a private halls with random international flatmates with whom I have no communication; as everyone I have asked has their own groups, I am doing the same thing next year. My only friend at university was my flatmate from 1st year who is on a year abroad at the moment, besides him the rest are acquaintances. I just feel so alone and am far away from family back home (I'm from London). Things have gotten so bad I feel like leaving my course, although its not the course thats the issue its just all the other contextual factors. I have had depression on and off since starting uni and have seen counsellors and a psychologist but nothing has really helped me to tackle my issues and be genuinely happy. I feel like I am stuck in a rut and have to make the next couple of years bearable, as tempting as it is to pack up and leave I really do not want to give up on completing the course.
I don't know what it will achieve me posting this, but i just wanted some advice really?
I don't know what it will achieve me posting this, but i just wanted some advice really?
Have you tried joining any societies or anything like that? They can be great for meeting people interested in similar things. I know you might not have much free time as a medic but if it keeps you there and makes you happier, improves health etc then definitely worthwhile. You can use next year as a new start in this sense, and also with gettig to know your neighbours in halls as much as you can- there could be some lovely people there, you never know! I'd say try and have leaving as a last resort if you can especially if you're enjoying the course. Hope things improve for you soon either way
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Having depression and trying to lead a normal life is very tiring. I hope you can get through this someday.
I am not sure how things in uni work but since you're lonely and most of those around you aren't on good terms with you, how about you find other friends , they don't have to be medics or in uni, anyone you can connect with, or maybe try with your flat mates. actually before you try to befriend others try to befriend yourself, treat yourself well and your stop negative thoughts from controlling you. stop wasting your life and feeling sorry for yourself, i know it's easier said than done but you have to take the first step in order to change your life. go out on walks , show kindness to others, try to think less about how lonely you are and more about how blessed you are to be in uni talking your course. Get to know yourself maybe you're doing something wrong , try to improve your self and don't be afraid to take the initiative in social situations. it'll be hard but as long as you keep trying and never give up , the moment will come when you're happy again and that moment will be worth all the pain.
I am not sure how things in uni work but since you're lonely and most of those around you aren't on good terms with you, how about you find other friends , they don't have to be medics or in uni, anyone you can connect with, or maybe try with your flat mates. actually before you try to befriend others try to befriend yourself, treat yourself well and your stop negative thoughts from controlling you. stop wasting your life and feeling sorry for yourself, i know it's easier said than done but you have to take the first step in order to change your life. go out on walks , show kindness to others, try to think less about how lonely you are and more about how blessed you are to be in uni talking your course. Get to know yourself maybe you're doing something wrong , try to improve your self and don't be afraid to take the initiative in social situations. it'll be hard but as long as you keep trying and never give up , the moment will come when you're happy again and that moment will be worth all the pain.
Sorry to hear you are having a bad time.
Well one forgetton on the course and ofc you really need to stick it out, its an opportunity you cant miss out on.
Next year have you thought about advertising for postgrads you can rent a house with, that way you all meet new and you can have housemates.
This year then you need to look after yourself by eating well and trying to get what sleep you can. Im not sure if you have any spare time doing medicine, but you will find gym breaks depression and can help you focus and forget.
Read books, watch films play music, then you are going to have to bite the bullet and be ready to socialise when you can. Im assuming your time is limited or non existent. Are there any hobbies or interests or stuff you cna do outside uni if youthink its all cliquey?
I cnat see how you are going to be genuinely happy until you finish your course tbh, id have thought it was survival? Wont you get sent round lots of places so you have the opportunity to meet new people? Bit of a useless post, but its hard to figure out what time you have due to your course. Hang in there once you make a few friend things will seem bright again.
Well one forgetton on the course and ofc you really need to stick it out, its an opportunity you cant miss out on.
Next year have you thought about advertising for postgrads you can rent a house with, that way you all meet new and you can have housemates.
This year then you need to look after yourself by eating well and trying to get what sleep you can. Im not sure if you have any spare time doing medicine, but you will find gym breaks depression and can help you focus and forget.
Read books, watch films play music, then you are going to have to bite the bullet and be ready to socialise when you can. Im assuming your time is limited or non existent. Are there any hobbies or interests or stuff you cna do outside uni if youthink its all cliquey?
I cnat see how you are going to be genuinely happy until you finish your course tbh, id have thought it was survival? Wont you get sent round lots of places so you have the opportunity to meet new people? Bit of a useless post, but its hard to figure out what time you have due to your course. Hang in there once you make a few friend things will seem bright again.
