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    Ok so next year my sister is marrying her boyfriend and because they have invited my ex girlfriend, I ain't going, otherwise all hell may break loose and I'll be the villian.

    By then me and my ex would have ended things 4 years ago, it ended after an argument and we never truly spoke again, only the rare hello and goodbye.

    So would it be childish if I didn't go?
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    Yes.
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    I want to say no, but I really think yes.
    After 4 years, surely you reached some sort of closure? However if you really feel that things might go sour, don't go and ruin your sister's day...
    I still think you should go though, just stay away from her.
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    (Original post by Coolisbelieveing)
    Ok so next year my sister is marrying her boyfriend and because they have invited my ex girlfriend, I ain't going, otherwise all hell may break loose and I'll be the villian.

    By then me and my ex would have ended things 4 years ago, it ended after an argument and we never truly spoke again, only the rare hello and goodbye.

    So would it be childish if I didn't go?
    Why would you be influenced by a person you are not with? They don't care about you, you don't care about them.

    Go to the wedding because you'll regret later on that your ex was the main cause.

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    Depends. Have you spoken to your sister?
    Four years is a long time to hold a grudge and I have no idea what the argument was about. If its important to hold onto that, then dont go, but do consider the impact on your sister and the fallout from her and your mum. It sounds a bit petulant from what you have said, but you could have good reasons. If it means something to your sister then couldnt you go an just behave? The ex might not even go an presumably if she did then it wouldnt be to cause trouble.
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    Surely your sister is more important to you than someone you broke up with 4 years ago??

    How would you feel if your sister didn't come to yours because of some guy... Grow a pair
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    Yes. It's your sister's big day - swallow your pride and go to the wedding. Act like the adult you know you are, be polite and civil if you happen to see your ex - act like you've moved on and life is wonderful and you hope she's doing well. After four years, it should, at worst, be uncomfortable. You can cope with a little discomfort.

    If you don't go, you may hurt your family's feelings, and you may well regret it in the future.
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    I think you should go. Your sister will need support on her wedding day and even if you're not a fan of weddings, it won't be something you will want to miss and you would probably regret not going, especially for the reason you provided. It sucks your ex will be there but like you said, its been 4 years now. She's most likely moved on and its time you should to, even if the only feelings you have left for her are hostile ones and not romantic ones. Don't let her come between you and your sister, especially on her wedding.

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    Don't go, you sound immature and petty and would probably spoil the atmosphere of the wedding.
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    I'm going to type out a passage from a book I've found kinda useful when thinking about situations of conflict with others; hopefully you can bring something from this
    --
    #15 Be the first one to act loving or reach out

    So many of us hold onto little resentments that may have stemmed from an argument, a misunderstanding, the way we were raised or some other painful event. Stubbornly, we wait for someone else to reach out to us - believing this is the only way we can forgive or rekindle a friendship or family relationship.

    An acquaintance of mine, whose health isn't very good, recently told me she hasn't spoken to her son in almost three years. "Why not?" I asked. She said that she and her son had had a disagreement about his wife and that she wouldn't speak to him again unless he called first. When I suggested that she be the one to reach out, she resisted initially and said "I don't do that, he's the one who should apologise." She was literally willing to die before reaching out to her only son. After a little gentle encouragement, however, she did decide to be the first one to reach out. To her amazement, her son was grateful for her willingness to call and offered an apology of his own. As is usually the case when someone takes the chance and reaches out, everyone wins.

    Whenever we hold onto our anger, we turn "small stuff" into really "big stuff" in our minds. We start to believe that our positions are more important than our happiness. They are not. If you want to be a more peaceful person, you must understand that being right is almost never more important than allowing yourself to be happy.The way to be happy is to let go, and reach out. Let other people be right. This doesn't mean that you're wrong. Everything will be fine. You'll experience the peace of letting go, as well as the joy of letting others be right.
    --
    I know it's difficult when it's your ex, but you need to try and overcome all the anger you're holding against her - for the sake of yourself and your sister. Yes you should go to the wedding.
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    You will be the better person for going and not having to hide your face. Four years is a long time so you would have probably have some closure and she might have moved on. Otherwise she would reject the invite and not bother turning up. It's your sister's wedding and don't let some ex girlfriend ruin it by igniting the flame.
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    If there is a free bar you should go.
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    You should go. Talk to your sister about the difficulties you have in being in a room with your ex-girlfriend, as perhaps there will be time for you both to be seated apart if there is a sit-down meal, for example.
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    (Original post by DiddyDec)
    If there is a free bar you should go.
    I'll go if there is a free bar.
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    Jeez, you haven't moved on after 4 years?

    You'll only look sad and immature if you don't go. Plus it'll be a clear indicator to your ex that you still haven't moved on, which wont look attractive.
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    Thank dioz you answered, this has just made me look at the situation in a different way. Plus I have moved on and met someone else, but I won't see her again, but that's a different story.

    (Original post by insert-username)
    Jeez, you haven't moved on after 4 years?

    You'll only look sad and immature if you don't go. Plus it'll be a clear indicator to your ex that you still haven't moved on, which wont look attractive.
 
 
 
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