Help with post-exam stress

Hi everyone,

This probably isn't a very serious problem but there isn't someone I can go talk to at this time of the night. I was wondering if someone could help me out.

I'll start from the beginning. I started uni last year and didn't do spectacularly well...I ended up disappointing myself and my family. The only reason was that I hadn't studied enough.

This year, I wanted things to be different so I paid attention during the year and worked hard when it really mattered - Over the Easter holidays, I would do a few hours each day and I started really plugging in the hours as May started. Exams were 17th May onwards. This period was extremely stressful as I found myself forgetting things and being unable to keep up with the people I was studying with. I kept crying and breaking down and I don't think I performed to the best of my abilities.

This was around the first two exams when I worked really hard but still screwed one exam up. I know I did because I left some questions incomplete - I ran out of time and panicked, etc ,etc. So I decided to go to a Stress Management guy at uni who helped me out. I was really chilled out after that...I just got my work done and didn't cry, etc. I had two exams left. I had a good feeling after I finished on of them but you can never be too sure with numerical exams...It could go either way. :rolleyes:

By my last exam, I was just too exhausted to care and I did study but I think I could have done better (looking back).

Now, my exams are finished and I've just had this horrible feeling since Tuesday. I can't stop thinking about how badly I'm going to perform and how I'll explain this to my parents. I'm an international student so a lot depends on these exam results. It will look like I didn't make an effort but I have actually been busting my a**.

It's just so frustrating. There's always something to worry about. While the exams were going on, I was stressed about how I'd do and now I'm stressed out about the results. I forget about it for a while and then it comes back and I can't sleep. I'm really, really scared. I don't know what's wrong with me as I have been a straight A student in school. It feels like I'm not suited for my course but I do enjoy it!

I really need to enjoy this summer, I think I deserve the break but I feel guilty everytime I do something remotely fun like shopping or hanging out with my boyfriend. This is horrible and annoying and I wish I could make this feeling go away. Any help? :frown:

Reply 1

oxygenbubbles

2

I know how you feel, I don't think any of my exams went particularly well and think I'll probably have to resit in August. I think you just have to accept that you worked hard and did your best, nobody can ask more of you than that. There is NOTHING you can do now to alter your results so why spend your time worrying over them? Just make a worst case scenario plan, if things go badly, you can repeat I assume? Until you know which way results are going to go (i.e results day) there really is no point in worrying about them so go out be free, have fun and pity us who still have uni term :mad:

There really is no quick fix, you just have to try to forget about them but make a back up plan so you know if things don't go the way you'd hoped, you have something to fall back on.

Reply 2

dpali

OP

1

I know. My backup plan is to quit uni for a year, get a job and retake them at the end of the year. Obviously, I haven't told my parents this yet and I don't know how they'll take it. I don't think I'll have to retake them but then they won't be amazing which means I'll be stuck with them forever.

I've learnt so many things about my revision pattern this year and I'm really going to try even harder next year but I want people to know that I'm no slacker.

My family members try to boast about results and things. I hate it because I know exams can mess up but this really really sucks.

It feels like I'm drowning in guilt as thick as triple chocolate milkshake. :frown:

I know all I can do is wait but I wish I could make this feeling go away. It would make summer so much more enjoyable. Sucks. I just wish I could skip this unpleasant experience and get to the part when I'm supposed to be working!

Reply 3

oxygenbubbles

2

dpali

I know. My backup plan is to quit uni for a year, get a job and retake them at the end of the year. Obviously, I haven't told my parents this yet and I don't know how they'll take it. I don't think I'll have to retake them but then they won't be amazing which means I'll be stuck with them forever.

I've learnt so many things about my revision pattern this year and I'm really going to try even harder next year but I want people to know that I'm no slacker.

My family members try to boast about results and things. I hate it because I know exams can mess up but this really really sucks.

It feels like I'm drowning in guilt as thick as triple chocolate milkshake. :frown:

I know all I can do is wait but I wish I could make this feeling go away. It would make summer so much more enjoyable. Sucks. I just wish I could skip this unpleasant experience and get to the part when I'm supposed to be working!

I don't know why you feel guilty. You worked as hard as you could and did your best in all your exams, you can't control exam nerves or the outcome of exams. It's important to realise that you're at uni to get a job in the long term, not to achieve results that your family members can "boast about". Just wait and see what happens, as the saying goes, cross bridges when you come to them. There's no point in worrying about having to repeat a year if you haven't even got results yet, which probably won't be half as bad as you expect anyway.

Reply 4

dpali

OP

1

Umm...I think the guilt might have something to do with my parents not knowing about my boyfriend. They wouldn't approve. I really want to be with him and am therefore going against my parents' wishes but I'm wondering if this has something to do with my exam performance. I know it doesn't as he actually helps me study but how could I explain this to anyone who found out about him and me?

It rains on me because I lied when I was 17. And again, now when I'm 20.

It's so annoying because it's so easy for some people. I know students who have breezed through these exams and for me, it was a struggle every step of the way. I know my mom will understand. She was really nice with my results last year and I think moms usually are. It's my dad and his silent treatment. He probably won't say or do anything major but will say something like ''well, what much can I do now?''.

I just really wish it was me paying for my fees and living expenses and not them. I hate having to be accountable to anyone but myself. I think that might add to it.

Having said that, I do feel better...If only a little and for a while. Hopefully, I'll stop stressing in some time!

Reply 5

oxygenbubbles

2

dpali

Umm...I think the guilt might have something to do with my parents not knowing about my boyfriend. They wouldn't approve. I really want to be with him and am therefore going against my parents' wishes but I'm wondering if this has something to do with my exam performance. I know it doesn't as he actually helps me study but how could I explain this to anyone who found out about him and me?

It rains on me because I lied when I was 17. And again, now when I'm 20.

It's so annoying because it's so easy for some people. I know students who have breezed through these exams and for me, it was a struggle every step of the way. I know my mom will understand. She was really nice with my results last year and I think moms usually are. It's my dad and his silent treatment. He probably won't say or do anything major but will say something like ''well, what much can I do now?''.

I just really wish it was me paying for my fees and living expenses and not them. I hate having to be accountable to anyone but myself. I think that might add to it.

Having said that, I do feel better...If only a little and for a while. Hopefully, I'll stop stressing in some time!

Well the guilt from not telling you parents about your boyfriend is a different matter which you have to address separately. Can I ask why you feel your parents wouldn't approve? It's obviously going to cause guilt that you're hiding a part of your life from your parents but you shouldn't feel guilt as though he's affected how you performed in exams. Unless you went out with him every day instead of revising, I don't see that being the case. :p:

If you took a few breaks to see/talk to him, that's perfectly normal and if like you said, he helped you to study, isn't having him with you during an exams a bonus if anything?

I think you're worrying far too much about pleasing other people and not focusing on yourself. Like I said earlier, go out and have fun, you deserve it after working so hard for exams. :smile:

Help with post-exam stress

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