I am being threatened

First of all, I am studying English at university in Spain. I have always liked English so this is what I want to study and I was really happy to get to study it, and I thought everything was perfect and stuff... I thought everyone would get on well with everyone in class, just for the fact that everybody there shares more or less the same interest in English, at least. Anyway, that didn't last for long. Since some months ago, I started realising everything was not as perfect as it seemed to be...

When I passed my first exam I got the best mark on it (10 out of 10). When I went to check my mark, I saw the Spanish for "Son of a bitch - You will die" written next to my mark and my ID number. That was just the beginning of it.

I have recently received on my Fotolog, which is similar to a Myspace thing, some threats, apart from insults. It was an annonymous comment messing with the southeastern English accent (which is the one I have got), messing with my hair style, messing with the whole Spanish origins (the person saying that is supposed to be from Argentina), messing with my friends and saying I can count the last days of my life with my fingers.

My Oral English teacher has told me I have got the best mark of the class from what she has marked up to these days (3,85 out of 4) and there is an exam left. She has told me I can either choose to take that exam or to not take it and get automatically a 7 as my final mark. I have chosen to take the exam, of course, but anyway, I have been told someone in my class has said "I wish he fails" when she has found out what the teacher has said to me.

As for my views on all of this, I have NEVER paid any attention to other people in class, just to my friends because they are the only people I care about. I am not envious of anyone, I have not acted in a bad way towards anyone, I have always helped people when they have needed my help... So I highly know I don't deserve any of what's happening to me.

· I can't do anything as for what was written when I got 10 on that first exam, but to be proud of me.

· I am really scared about what they have written on my Fotolog, I think my friends and I know who has written it, and he is 27 years old, a lot older than me, so I find it really immature to go worrying about other people in that way. That's something I wouldn't think of doing, and I am only 19. I think he is just envious because he always acts showing off and trying to be more important than the rest, he wants to be the best one in class (making silly comments), and I think he can't stand the idea of not being so, but I am not guilty for that, I never try to show I am more than the rest, I don't feel I am! I am just a normal guy who goes to university to learn and have an education. I have not had any word with him, so I don't think he's got the right to threaten me. He even says I am a coward because I don't look him on his eyes, but I have never needed to look at him because I don't care about him, I have never talked to him, he is not anyone I regularly talk to, I don't think he has any friends whatsoever.

· As for the girl saying she wants me to fail, I am really looking forward to going to the exam on Monday and say, directly to her, something like: So you really want me to fail this exam, right?

I don't know what to do, honestly, I have never had any trouble of any sense and I am a very calm and pacific boy, so I don't think I deserve any of this. I don't want to feel bad when I go to class (fortunately, I am leaving for London in just three weeks and I will be living there for four months, but I fear the moment I come back). I want to have a normal education, so I don't think I have to put up with all this stuff.

I am thinking of leaving university for one year, so as to not attend the same classes those people would attend, and focus on the second degree I want to get, from an open university which I wouldn't have to attend. That would take me an extra year, but I would feel a lot better, in my opinion. On the other hand, I would also love to attend classes with my real friends who go to the same class, but I don't know what feeling is stronger.

Any comments or advice would be much appreciated, thank you.

Reply 1

C00kies

Why haven't you reported this to your university yet. Is it not serious enough do you think? Personally, as that guy is 27, a 'mature' student, if he's being aggressive and threatening towards younger students, the uni should step in a little and tell him where to go. I'm not sure if some osrt of confrontation would help because he sounds like a narcissitc son of a puta to me, and would probably continue, or up the ante on his jealous/aggressive behaviour and comments. Has he said/done anything else? TBH it's most probably jealousy, and therefore anger that he can't get the marks that you get, so I wouldn't worry. Everyone gets jealous, it's probably compounded by the fact you're younger than him and still better jejeje

Reply 2

Unregistered

I'm really sorry to heard about that, but you need to inform your tutor or head of department of what is going on. It's disgusting and shouldn't be allowed to happen.

Your English is excellent by the way, very impressive.

Reply 3

ch0c0h01ic

Inform the police of what is happening what this bloke/girl is doing is harassment and should be stopped. They won't be able to do much without any evidence. Write to Fotolog outlining what is happening to you, or get a police officer to write, asking for the details of who made this anonymous comment, they will have records of the username, name address, etc, at the very least they will have just an IP address, and be able to track this person down. Tell the police who you think it is, and they can seize his computer, etc as evidence, and interview him. But if it is the wrong guy, it could make someones resentment of you worse.

Inform your tutor, head of department, etc. Maybe it would be best if you had independent classes, where this bloke would be unable to find out how well you are doing, etc. You said you have no connection with anyone in the class, so it couldn't hurt?

Do not openly accuse this bloke, it may not be him. You could talk to him, say some weird person keeps making threats to you, so now the police are investigating and are monitoring your Fotolog. 9 times out of 10, if it is him, he'll stop for fear of prosecution. If you only tell one guy, and coincidentally its him, then its a strong basis it was him, its not foolproof though. It is someone you know, it could just as well be one of your friends(hard to believe) but a relative of mine was getting anonymous, threatening phone calls late at night, was from one of her neighbours who was one of her closest friends.

Start keeping a log of what happens/was said, and when, times, etc, its good for use as evidence for the police.

I think that your aloofness to your English class hasn't really helped the situation, thats just my opinion. If you had interacted with them, befriended them and allowed them to learn more about you, and like you for what you are, this might not have happened. Detaching yourself from them creates the impression that you are better/superior to them(well, you are getting better grades), and can be a cause for hostility. Sure, you care about your friends, but isn't the university experience all about interacting with random people and making friends?

This person is simply jealous, and these threats are probably pretty empty, keep doing what you want and don't let them affect your life. If they do escalate, which they probably will, inform the police.

Reply 4

Ywiss

That's terrible :frown:

Nobody deserves that sort of treatment.

As others have said, tell your university about the threats you're getting. You don't happen to still have the son of a bitch message, do you? Because that, along with the messages on your webpage, will serve as good evidence.

Please, please don't let this stop you doing what you want to do. You're obviously fantastic at English, hard-working, motivated - don't feel you have to take a year out just because of some stupid jerks who have nothing better to do. Why give in to them? Stick with your friends, tell your university what's happening and let them sort it out.

Oh, and before your exam on Monday, I wouldn't advise you to confront the girl who hopes that you'll fail. It might turn into an argument, and that's not good for you before your exam.

Good luck, and I hope everything turns out okay for you.

Reply 5

sergioib

Thank you very much to everyone for reading my long message and for your useful advice!

I don't have any proof at all. The "son of a bitch" thing was written in the marks list which was at the teacher's door, so she took it. I don't have my Fotolog message either because one of my best friends saw it first, and asked me for my password in order to delete it before I could read it because it was too painful, maybe.

On the one hand, I don't want to tell anybody for them to see I don't care about what they say, so maybe they will stop doing what they do, taking into account that what they say or do doesn't affect me at all. But also, I don't want to tell anyone because if I did, they might get more furious and do worst things to me.

As for what Chocoholic said, you're right I should have got on well with everyone and known more people and all that, but you know what university is like and everyone goes about his or her business, it's not that everybody tries to be friendly and you have seen they are also jealous and envious. But yes, I agree that if that person had known me well, he wouldn't have said or done this sort of things.

Ywiss, I think I will tell this girl "You want me to fail, right?" because she deserves to hear that. I don't mind if we turn into an argument, but I am sure she has said that, and she was supposed to be my friend, so she's being really hypocrite. She sorts of adores me when I'm with her, and when I'm not, look at what she says. I'm sure it was her because one of my best friends has told me, so I don't fear her.

Reply 6

Ywiss

sergioib

Ywiss, I think I will tell this girl "You want me to fail, right?" because she deserves to hear that. I don't mind if we turn into an argument, but I am sure she has said that, and she was supposed to be my friend, so she's being really hypocrite. She sorts of adores me when I'm with her, and when I'm not, look at what she says. I'm sure it was her because one of my best friends has told me, so I don't fear her.

Well, it's up to you - and I can imagine that you've been hurt by it :frown:

If you're absolutely sure that having an argument before your exam won't affect your performance in the slightest, then by all means go for it, but it would be silly to let the girl win by actually doing badly in the exam!

Reply 7

sergioib

No, I mean, I will say that to her in an ironic and witty way, not as to turn into an argument, but yes, I get your point and I will be careful with that, I won't let anyone control my performance when taking the exams!