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    I slept with one of my friend's boyfriend, and recently she found out. I am fully aware I'm in the wrong here and I would do anything to change it all, but I know that I can't go back in time.

    A lot of people are finding out and although I deserve the **** I'm getting, people are bringing up old rumours (which were untrue anyway) from first year and acting like they're all related.

    I honestly don't know what to do, I feel so guilty and awful but at the same time I'm upset. I know I have no right but I just don't know what to do.
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    Nothing much you can do tbh. You just have to lay low until the rumours die down.
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    Why would you go there anyway?
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    Are y'all still mates?

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    maybe your friend's boyfriend finds you more attractive? So what , he slept with you too , so there must be something?
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    Honestly, I feel that you should just ignore them. Go on your life as though they don't exist. Don't be reticent to be proud. Pride in face of societal rejection will come across as dignity, drawing more people.

    And NEVER forget to feel optimistic. Play the Glad Game. And don't forget to smile :-)
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    You have the right to be upset. Although it's always bad to sleep with someone who is in a relationship, it's still always the fault of whoever is in the relationship. The guy knew he had a girlfriend and yet had sex with you. If anything, you did your friend a favour by exposing what kind of a person he is. You're obviously still not innocent but more forgivable than the cheating boyfriend (personally I wouldn't forgive either).

    Anyway, you might want to consider getting new friends. There's not much you can do about their approach, opinions and behaviour. Or you can try to wait to out.
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    Why would you sleep with him then, if you knew you'd regret it?
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    What you did was wrong. I hope you will never do something like this again, and I hope that your friend and her boyfriend are no longer together since he's just as bad. Try to stay strong. Rumors are only rumors, unless you validate them. Everything we be alright in the end.
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    We've all been there...

    ... haven't we?

    Ahem. How did she find out: did you tell her or did he? Either way, only two people know what happened, you and him.

    So you can go 'yeah, so what?', or deny it, or go 'yes, but it was a stupid thing to do and I won't do such a thing again', or...
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I slept with one of my friend's boyfriend, and recently she found out. I am fully aware I'm in the wrong here and I would do anything to change it all, but I know that I can't go back in time.

    A lot of people are finding out and although I deserve the **** I'm getting, people are bringing up old rumours (which were untrue anyway) from first year and acting like they're all related.

    I honestly don't know what to do, I feel so guilty and awful but at the same time I'm upset. I know I have no right but I just don't know what to do.
    Be honest, the reason why you are upset is because people found out about it.:rolleyes:
    You've made a BIG mistake, a long lasting one that resulted you in losing your friend and a bad reputation. You shouldn't have done it, but what is done is done. Just remember to not do things like that again.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I slept with one of my friend's boyfriend, and recently she found out. I am fully aware I'm in the wrong here and I would do anything to change it all, but I know that I can't go back in time.

    A lot of people are finding out and although I deserve the **** I'm getting, people are bringing up old rumours (which were untrue anyway) from first year and acting like they're all related.

    I honestly don't know what to do, I feel so guilty and awful but at the same time I'm upset. I know I have no right but I just don't know what to do.
    How many boyfriends does she have? :lol:
    This is why grammar is important, it should be "one of my friends' boyfriend"
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    (Original post by phunky_fresh)
    Why would you go there anywhere?
    Wut?
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    You just have to get on with life.


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    You husband snatcher!
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    It's not so bad. He obviously finds you more attractive than his gf.....
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    (Original post by loveleest)
    Be honest, the reason why you are upset is because people found out about it.:rolleyes:
    You've made a BIG mistake, a long lasting one that resulted you in losing your friend and a bad reputation. You shouldn't have done it, but what is done is done. Just remember to not do things like that again.
    Yeah this is the best advice. It's harsh but true.

    You just have to take the long view in life: over time you move through different friendship groups or relationships and sometimes you make mistakes which can't be repaired, or can only be buried with the passing of a lot of time. You're unlikely to get forgiveness from your friend or your friendship group so you just have to accept this, lie low, look to meet other people and extend your social interactions with people outside this group. Most importantly learn this lesson so it doesn't happen again.

    It's easy to get sucked in to doing things you know are wrong without really appreciating the consequences, because you feel like you won't get caught. But before doing anything always consider the consequences if you do get caught, and if you could live with them.

    The other thing to think through before doing stuff is even if you don't get caught, be careful of creating a shadow that will hang over you, of constantly worrying if something will come out. I've been in this position and it's not pleasant. You always feel a bit like you're living a lie waiting to be exposed.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I slept with one of my friend's boyfriend, and recently she found out. I am fully aware I'm in the wrong here and I would do anything to change it all, but I know that I can't go back in time.

    A lot of people are finding out and although I deserve the **** I'm getting, people are bringing up old rumours (which were untrue anyway) from first year and acting like they're all related.

    I honestly don't know what to do, I feel so guilty and awful but at the same time I'm upset. I know I have no right but I just don't know what to do.
    If the fact you knew this person was in a relationship already and it is one of your friends then I am afraid this is what you get, yes you feel guilty but at the end of the day you could have said no, learn from it in future. But I feel sorry for his girlfriend and if I was in her shoes I would never be friends with you again, sorry to sound harsh.

    (Original post by unprinted)
    We've all been there...

    ... haven't we?
    No because some of us have respect.
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    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    If the fact you knew this person was in a relationship already and it is one of your friends then I am afraid this is what you get, yes you feel guilty but at the end of the day you could have said no, learn from it in future. But I feel sorry for his girlfriend and if I was in her shoes I would never be friends with you again, sorry to sound harsh.



    No because some of us have respect.
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    Totally wrong what you did OP.

    I think you fully deserve and understand the consequences of your actions. Understandably your best mate/friend wouldn't want to speak to you again, the boyfriend, well he won't be around for long. I suspect he scarpered.

    I think that you know the damages you caused and with this in mind, I'd learn from your mistakes. Draw it up to an experience to learn from and move on. Find new friends, as its unlikely you'll ever gain respect or forgiveness from your current ones. If they do, it will take a very very long time.

    I once had something similar happen to me, a few years back.

    I had a best mate, whom I introduced to a girlfriend I'd been dating (only for a few weeks), within a week of meeting her- I suspect he was flirting with her or doing something behind my back. I'd be messaging her, and she'd be vacant or distant. Eventually she openly admitted she was conversing with my best mate. Needless to say I was frustrated, but carried on.

    When they were together they were flirty. I eventually became sick of it and dumped her. Weeks later I bumped into them in town, they were holding hands and I knew something had happened.

    I've managed to forgive him- after a number of years. But I am still not bestest of friends. I haven't bothered to speak to her.

    You live and learn OP.
 
 
 
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