He cheated on his ex girlfriend TWICE!!! ... Should I say something?

Basically, someone I know has cheated on his ex girlfriend twice. He decided to break up with her after cheating the second time (which was with me). But now after months, they started talking again, liking each other's pics etc.... I don't know whether I shall tell her what this guy is really like... Not only I have been played, but now she is being played too... Thinking she could potentially get back with this guy.

What shall I do?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

Oh, he cheated on her a year before as well with someone else as well... That's why I said he has cheated on her twice.

Reply 2

Abolisher

2

Just don't say anything.....

Reply 3

username47781

20

Not really your business really, if they want to get involved again then that's their look out.

Reply 4

Hamoody

21

The eff is wrong with peeps nowadays? Always poking their very large noses into others lives smh :erm:

No, don't be sly

Do whatever you feel is right.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 7

999tigger

19

None of your business. Also you were quite happy to sleep with him and help him do the cheating.. Your concern sounds more like getting revenge on him than any genuine concern for his gf.

Reply 8

royal1990

15

How did you feel to be facilitating with the cheater? Where you aware of her presence? If so, why the guilty conscience now? If not, I'd fully expect you to be angry, and if I were you I would 'dob him in'.

However, realistically, what is to be achieved from this?

Are you annoyed more at the injustices of what he is doing (morally)? Or is it the fact you have been duped?

I feel sorry for her- and only her at this point. Without more information I can't really objectively understand.

Above all-- what really makes me sick is the morality of the 21st century. This is the real issue here, why do people feel the need to cheat? If they aren't happy leave there current partners and go for a person better suited to their needs. It isn't difficult at all....

The motive really is pure selfishness...it muddies the waters and people aren't prepared to let go of what they have for something else (which may or may not work out). Cowardice really.

Honestly, I am engaged to be married with a lovely partner, but if I whatsoever caught her cheating she'd be out the door.

The cruelty of it is unbelievable.

Maybe I have arrived to some unjustified misconceptions with you OP, however, this is because you freely admit he cheated with you. The minute he gets back with her its the 'victim' complex and you go from 'okay, I've cheated with him- I've gotten my rocks off' to 'he's a **** he played me'.

I think its equally as selfish to have this attitude because your basically saying its okay to cheat with him, but its not when he gets back with her. Fact is, he's cheating on her--you allowed him and accepted him to cheat with you- otherwise you'd have asked him to break up with her and started up something new with him.

Morality is a key word here. You need to re-address why your so hell-bent on getting some sort of revenge and outting him. Meanwhile, at same time, he does really need to be exposed. Problem is, your obviously going to have to take some responsibility for your hand in this. Irrespective of your status, you willingly conspired knowing he was already in a relationship and cheating.

Reply 9

thefatone

6

Be moral and do the right thing or be a bystander, choose whichever i won't judge i promise :smile:

Original post by Anonymous

Basically, someone I know has cheated on his ex girlfriend twice. He decided to break up with her after cheating the second time (which was with me). But now after months, they started talking again, liking each other's pics etc.... I don't know whether I shall tell her what this guy is really like... Not only I have been played, but now she is being played too... Thinking she could potentially get back with this guy.

What shall I do?

Reply 10

thecatwithnohat

20

Personally, I wouldn't bother telling the girl because 1) she probably won't believe you and 2) she'll think that you're being a jealous b🐬🐬🐬🐬.

Sounds petty in your situation, you played and got played - it was bound to happen. You know the saying "if they cheated with you it's likely they'll also cheat on you"

Reply 11

royal1990

15

Original post by 999tigger

None of your business. Also you were quite happy to sleep with him and help him do the cheating.. Your concern sounds more like getting revenge on him than any genuine concern for his gf.

I do agree wholeheartedly with this.

Seeking retribution for him because you feel you've been 'wronged' or 'duped' is different to doing it out of your own sense of moral standing.

Far too many people are prepared to cheat or be the cheat[ee] out of selfishness and often to the disregard of moral standards.

'It's okay to cheat so I can get my rocks off- but the minute I'm upset/offended/or hurt then it goes against my moral code'.

This behaviour by OP is highly hypocritical, and while he/she may have regrets, they are only born out of the fact they've been wronged. They had no issue wronging the guys unsuspecting girlfriend- it was okay then- why is it not okay now?

It is revenge rather than a genuine concern for morality or looking out for the gf.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Things just occurred when they was together but we didn't sleep together.. Just kissed and was very flirty with each other. Tbh, I have learned I want nothing more to do with him. Don't get me wrong, I know I am half to blame on this.. I knew what I did was wrong..

I would be lying to say I don't feel hurt because I did feel like we got on like a house on fire.. At the same time though, I feel like I am being made to all his friends as some crazy woman when they don't really know the truth. I also met this girl and tbh, I felt bad before. I have left it up to him to tell her and said that he needs to tell her if they get back together - but what a surprise he hasn't.. And they becoming close again. I feel like she deserves to know. If I was in that situation, I would want someone to tell me.

Reply 13

Yellow 03

15

I think you should stay out of it and move on. It does not sound like you have his girlfriend's best interests in mind at all, as you say you do. If this is obvious to us, it will be obvious to her, and everyone else you share this information with.

Reply 14

royal1990

15

Original post by thecatwithnohat

Personally, I wouldn't bother telling the girl because 1) she probably won't believe you and 2) she'll think that you're being a jealous b🐬🐬🐬🐬.

Sounds petty in your situation, you played and got played - it was bound to happen. You know the saying "if they cheated with you it's likely they'll also cheat on you"

I'd tell her. However, if I was OP I wouldn't go expecting anything positive out of it for me. Other than a slap in the face, for which they duly deserve. Whatever the girlfriend believes or not...I'd expect a pretty grim outcome.

She played and got played- now she wants to cry wolf and project hurt onto him and pin him down. Meanwhile, forgetting the actions/behaviour of the past.

You can't cheat, think its alright, and then the minute your wronged go on the defensive and claim its wrong or expect anything less.

This is a classical case of Karma. Mother nature really is excellent. Everybody gets their just desserts in life. Takes time but it happens.

I do agree with your last point. Cheaters will cheat with you and on you-- cannot be trusted.

It is a double edged sword this situation. OP was lucky to have escaped him, as if they'd have entered a serious relationship he'd have ruined her life too. However, in cheating she may learn a valuable lesson here, she knows what its like to be led on. If you don't want to be cheated yourself, then don't cheat.

Treat others as you wish to be treated and all.

Reply 15

absaroke

1

Maybe if its really a problem for you, you should tell her to be careful with him, warn her about it subty or speak to him himself and try to show you want him to treat her right this time and that if he doesnt you will tell her that he has cheated again and that you will not let him walk over her. IF you do talk to her about it try to sound like you really are a reliable source and that you arent rumouring or trying to spoil her happiness, its really difficult though. Maybe try to get close to her as a freind or something, make sure she trusts you when you tell her, you dont want her to be hurt by you.

Reply 16

AperfectBalance

21

While you are slightly to blame I would tell as no one deserves to be with a cheater.

Reply 17

royal1990

15

Original post by Anonymous

Things just occurred when they was together but we didn't sleep together.. Just kissed and was very flirty with each other. Tbh, I have learned I want nothing more to do with him. Don't get me wrong, I know I am half to blame on this.. I knew what I did was wrong..

I would be lying to say I don't feel hurt because I did feel like we got on like a house on fire.. At the same time though, I feel like I am being made to all his friends as some crazy woman when they don't really know the truth. I also met this girl and tbh, I felt bad before. I have left it up to him to tell her and said that he needs to tell her if they get back together - but what a surprise he hasn't.. And they becoming close again. I feel like she deserves to know. If I was in that situation, I would want someone to tell me.

I don't think its worth me expanding too much on what you've written here, as its clear you may have some sense of guilt. However, I don't think you feel as guilty as you should, or else you'd have actually taken the initiative and told her yourself- rather than leave to him.

You probably knew there was a chance he'd chicken out and not tell. Why would he want to risk a relationship he could have salvaged- by telling her? What purpose does it serve him?

You got on like a house on fire- perhaps with the person you wanted to feel he was- then you realised he was a cheater. Maybe he was charming and glib with you, but then most people that cheat are.

She does deserve to know OP- and this is the best thing you've stated. Precisely- you'd want to know.

This situation is hard to navigate, and from what I see you have a few options:

a.) You tell her out of moral obligation and the fact you feel genuinely sorry- accept any personal responsibility and backlash that may come toward you as a result.

b.) You don't tell her, you move on, while trying to deal with you guilty conscience.

c.) You get him to tell her or dump him in it somehow, and let her see what a lying scumbag he is.

It is important that you don't get drawn into anymore flings with this man again, as he's likely to screw with your head again.

Reply 18

DanielleT192

13

Unless you are a close friend of hers I wouldn't get involved tbh. Her fault if she goes back with a guy who has already cheated on her before.

Also it would look bad on both of you and she'd be angry with both of you, which might defeat the intentions of telling her.

Lastly I hope if you were aware that he was taken, that you learn from this situation as it's wrong going with someone who has a girlfriend.