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Parents saying I'll never succeed.

14

First of all, I'm not sure where this should be posted, but I figured here is the best place? And sorry for the bad title.

Seems trivial. I can't seem to find a job at the moment, having just finished 6th form, doing exams, and off to Uni in September anyway, and my parents take great pride in telling me that I'm never going to succeed at Uni or in life "because you'll need to get a job eventually". I KNOW THAT! I am trying. Surprisingly enough But they really knocked my self esteem saying that :frown:

And tbh I'm starting to think the same way, but surely not having a job having just left school and being off to Uni isn't going to define my life?!

Reply 1

ferret123

1

I never did get a job even though my parents got at me and i'm not worried about it :-)

Reply 2

Ang|ophi|e

12

Don't listen to your parents! This is your time to enjoy yourself before you have to actually become an "adult" and take care of yourself. You've got plenty of years in the future for that. So don't stress it. I love it when people put me down. You know why? Cuz I LOVE proving them wrong! You should do the same. :biggrin:

Reply 3

CJHackett

7

I know exactly how you feel. In my case, I have a 'plan' as it were (the details are not important), but the fact is that it doesn't necessarily fit in with the general social trend of getting a job at a certain age etc. (as in working in a shop to fund uni) - but I have been trying to work nevertheless.

In any case, I basically get the message from them that there is no point in doing it because I just have to face up to the harsh reality of life, blah blah ****ing blah!

Though it can get to me sometimes, most of the time I couldn't care less about their comments. The fact is that I am not a complete idiot and I know what I will/have to do. However, I'm not going to give up on my determination for the sake of 'accepting' that there is apparently no hope. How could anyone else achieve what they want if society adopts that attitude? Just because they haven't experienced much luck or whatever does not mean that we all have to be so disheartened about life.

Obviously, they're just trying to help in some respects and I don't like to badmouth them - hence why I've added this sentence :smile:

Anyway, as long as you feel that you know what you're doing and your (lack of a) job is not going to be hindrance, do what you like!

Reply 4

dying-flower

The fact that they are making you feel self doubting is not fair! don't they realise that with everyone leaving school at the moment and college/uni etc, that there arn't really many jobs going? I got mine in february, but i don't think I would stand a chance at this time of year!
Don't give up! the job people may not want to hire you because you are going to uni in september and will then hav e a more hectict lifestyle, and maybe not able to hold down a job...
Do not let what your parents say discourage you...the fcat that you don't ahve a job at this precise time does not mean that you will screw up your life! where they even got that idea...
you are looking shows a willingness to work, which is very important, maybe you could point this out to them? That you will suceed because you are trying! if you weren't then they would actually maybe have a leg to stand on ( maybe ) but they don't in this argument!
You are capable of anything!Do not let anyone make you think different!
take care and keep us updated!
xxx

Reply 5

andy_cole2

14

i'm IB my holiday is already begun, like most of my friends its suprisingly boring, in the past 2 months i must have posted 40 times on here, in the past 2 days i've notched up about 200 posts i reckon :p:

i'm desperately trying to find a job as are my friends so whatever any one says about enjoying this time, all my friends are skint broke and craving employment :p:

keep looking for that job...

of course it won't define your life but it could make your life less boring ,,,

Reply 6

shatteredmedic

my parents have been telling me that my whole life....
but now im so used to it, it doesnt affect me that much.

Reply 7

Rainygal

4

Our parents aren't always right, (although they like to think they are!) and you're exactly right, not having a job before uni won't define your life, don't worry about it

Reply 8

PhilMc

16

There just trying to push you into doing what they think is the best way to prepare yourself for life.

They've been there and done that.

Don't take any offense from it. :smile:

Reply 9

tehjonny

8

Most parents do this because they regret having started adulthood too early themselves :p:

.

We all the know one of the best ways of making yourself feel better is to make another person feel worse.

OP: Parents shouldn't do this but they do, all you can do is lump it and every so often make snide comments about their own achievements, infering your own will be far more worthy :wink:

.

Reply 10

nnkuk

And there you have the greatest motivation ever to succeed, to prove those ****ers wrong.

Reply 11

hippieglitter

19

namakemono

First of all, I'm not sure where this should be posted, but I figured here is the best place? And sorry for the bad title.

Seems trivial. I can't seem to find a job at the moment, having just finished 6th form, doing exams, and off to Uni in September anyway, and my parents take great pride in telling me that I'm never going to succeed at Uni or in life "because you'll need to get a job eventually". I KNOW THAT! I am trying. Surprisingly enough But they really knocked my self esteem saying that :frown:

And tbh I'm starting to think the same way, but surely not having a job having just left school and being off to Uni isn't going to define my life?!

It is very difficult to get jobs at the moment, last summer i was one of the lucky ones, none of my friends were able to find jobs. Just keep looking, go to your local shopping centre and pick up every application form you can lay your hands on. Be thankful when doing something to help your current average in your course your mum didn't say that you weren't gonna get more than a third anyway, thats a ****ing knock to my confidence.

Reply 12

noodles!

OP

14

Thanks all for the advice. :smile:

I intended to do voluntary work in a charity shop to boost my CV a bit. But I'd "be more helpful around the house", apparently. =[

Reply 13

random_bloke

1

I think it's totally reasonable to expect you to get employment before you go away to university ... you're old enough to take some responsibility for your own keep.

I don't understand why anybody would not work during the summer? get yourself a nice financial cushion to start uni with.

It is unfair for them however to tell you that you won't succeed.

Reply 14

herecomestrouble

14

I think parents sometimes try scare tactics coz they know how lazy some teenagers can be and so almost try to panic us into getting our lives sorted out! But it doesnt work with everyone and isnt always appropriate. But im sure they do believe in you and maybe it might help you feel better if you said to them "what you are saying is really lowering my self-esteem and making me feel negative about my future" they might rephrase it - as im sure they think the world of you and that you are able to do anything if you put your mind to it! they are probably just trying to encourage you using "not so obvious" tactics.

But dont ever stop believing in yourself: i think thats the most important thing. it doesnt matter if no one else believes in you as long as YOU do, as its your life and you are the one thats gotta do it.

Good Luck though :hugs:

Reply 15

40550

2

Its up to you whether you succeed or not, not your parents. In the end, if you work hard in exams and uni, you can do well. Don't listen to them and do what you want to do.

Reply 16

nitasha.

2

As much as my mum wants me to get a job to get me to stop nagging her for money... She always concludes that at the end of the day, Ill have my whole life to work.

Don't worry about what others, even the parents, say. It'll all come in good time. :smile:

Reply 17

Alan Smithee

If you KNOW what you're doing in life and you KNOW where you're going, then **** what people say to you. Even if it is the 'rents.

Reply 18

kimble

1

I have the same porblem!!! HOw cna I find a job when EVERYWHERE wnats someone who isn't going to leave in 3 months time?!?! jesus!!! so annoying!!! Anyway. My best friend keeps shouting at me becuase I wont take a job if it is offerd to me, but you know what it's you life. And I never think it's my parents job to be proud of me, and I know their not. They wanted a nurse who likes horse riding and the countryside. They got a tomboy who can't wait to move to the city and has no idea what she wants to do. As long as YOUR'E enjoying yourslef who cares? you'll find a job (find a warehouse they often look for summer temps and just KEEP APPLYING!!!!) and you'll have fun at uni. If your parents can't see whats going to make you happy its their fault. but keep your chin up. life wasnt ment to be easy xx

Reply 19

Alan Smithee

If you're trying to get a summer job, and you aren't being offered them because you say you're going to leave, then the obvious thing would be to just not tell them you're a student.

Parents saying I'll never succeed.

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