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should I trust him?

I met a guy a few weeks back and we've been texting and facebooking each other for a while. He seems really lovely. We were both at our summer ball last night and chatting for ages, holding hands and stuff, and his ex kept coming up to him and trying to talk (and he was really nice to her - he didn't try to get rid of her particularly hard but he kinda cut the coversation off aftere about 5 mins).
Anyway, about 10 mins after that she came past in floods of tears and he headed off to go and see if she was ok and said he'd see me later. I did see him later and went over and chatted and asked how she was, and about a second later his ex came over, grabbed him and said "Look, this is ridiculous, you can't keep playing us both. You've been screwing with both of us tonight and bitching behind our backs, calling her a slag [pointing at me] and probably calling me the psycho ex. So just make up your mind, yeah? cos you can't have us both."

Then she walked off and he apologised and said that she was a bit drunk and was having issues with them not being together. The thing is, she texted him later and i read over his shoulder she'd said something else about 'the so-called slag' referring to me.

I don't know wat to think now :frown:

he walked me home and was really lovely, and said we should go out when I'm back from holiday, but the idea that he might have been saying stuff like that behind my back really upsets me. Then again, it could have been his ex trying to throw a spanner in the works, but I can't imagine anyone being so unhinged as to make all that up :confused:

Any thoughts, anyone? It goes without saying I don't want to get hurt or look like a complete fool :redface:

Reply 1

Schroedinger's Pandora

13

Oh my god!! :hugs:

You say that you're considering the fact that she made it up/staged it to cause problems between you and your bloke, but you have to ask yourself, you were never meant to see that text were you? If the "so called slag" is you, then honey get as far away from this moron as you can.

It really does sound as though he's been stringing the pair of you along - I bet he also has the pseudo charm and smooth words of a real player, am I right?

Reply 2

sweet_fluffy_nuke

Sounds like he is playing for a sucker !

Reply 3

joz12345

1

he could be a generally nice guy and it probs was just his x playing games trying to ruin him getting with anyone new, and you dont kno he may of replyed telling her that u werent a slag why dont you just talk to him about her and if hes willing to make a proper go off it then why not give him a chance

Reply 4

Unregistered

Hmmm, i'd leave this one be. Tell him that you think he should sort things out with his ex first and that you don't want to hurt her. If he's nice about it and agrees then he's a genuine bloke. If he acts like it's all sorted then he's selfish and doesn't care about her feelings and probably not yours.

Reply 5

Alan Smithee

Q: Are there loads of nice guys out there? A: Yes

Q: Do you need this stress in your life? A: No

Seems pretty obvious what to do. Problem with girls is they can catch feelings pretty quickly.

Reply 6

sophielouise403

opiache

I met a guy a few weeks back and we've been texting and facebooking each other for a while. He seems really lovely. We were both at our summer ball last night and chatting for ages, holding hands and stuff, and his ex kept coming up to him and trying to talk (and he was really nice to her - he didn't try to get rid of her particularly hard but he kinda cut the coversation off aftere about 5 mins).
Anyway, about 10 mins after that she came past in floods of tears and he headed off to go and see if she was ok and said he'd see me later. I did see him later and went over and chatted and asked how she was, and about a second later his ex came over, grabbed him and said "Look, this is ridiculous, you can't keep playing us both. You've been screwing with both of us tonight and bitching behind our backs, calling her a slag [pointing at me] and probably calling me the psycho ex. So just make up your mind, yeah? cos you can't have us both."

Then she walked off and he apologised and said that she was a bit drunk and was having issues with them not being together. The thing is, she texted him later and i read over his shoulder she'd said something else about 'the so-called slag' referring to me.

I don't know wat to think now :frown:

he walked me home and was really lovely, and said we should go out when I'm back from holiday, but the idea that he might have been saying stuff like that behind my back really upsets me. Then again, it could have been his ex trying to throw a spanner in the works, but I can't imagine anyone being so unhinged as to make all that up :confused:

Any thoughts, anyone? It goes without saying I don't want to get hurt or look like a complete fool :redface:

If he's upset his ex this much, then surely he cant be a nice guy.
I would walk away, you dont want to end up being her in a bad state a few months down the line.

Reply 7

username47781

20

Difficult one this, he may be geniunely a nice guy and his ex is just jealous and can't move on. However he could just be nice to you so he can get you in bed. Either way don't rush with him.

Reply 8

IzzTheGreat

OP

10

thanks for the advice everyone :smile:

I still can't make up my mind. I'm home for a month now so I won't see him, but he's texted me a few times today already.

Little_red_sox - I think I probably was intended to see the text his ex sent him, as she knew he was going home with me. According to him, they broke up a while back, he's trying to stay friends with her and she wants more, and gets upset if he looks at anyone else.
I wish I knew the answer! hehe.

Reply 9

Chewwy

17

well, i don't think he thinks you're a slag in the literal sense, else he would've tried more than just holding hands surely? so if he did say it, i'd assume it to be in order placate his ex.. which is kind of understandable if he's a nice guy and doesn't want to upset her (in a twisted way).

just ask him what he thinks of you. if he seems nice, he probably is.

Reply 10

Alan Smithee

choochie

well, i don't think he thinks you're a slag in the literal sense, else he would've tried more than just holding hands surely? so if he did say it, i'd assume it to be in order placate his ex.. which is kind of understandable if he's a nice guy and doesn't want to upset her (in a twisted way).

just ask him what he thinks of you. if he seems nice, he probably is.

Ahh, good old naivety.

Reply 11

hell_o

1

maybe it wouldn't be a very good idea to get involved with him right now anyway when his ex is still in his life, albeit as a 'pyscho ex'. just makes things a bit more complicated, especially if she's going to be making stuff up/trying to get between you two (if that's what she's doing). just a thought.

Reply 12

campbell87

8

Id say think of him as a friend for now and make it clear your not looking for a relationship with him just yet, not until he has at least sorted out his ex. Lifes to short to just sit around and wait for someone who could turn out tobe a complete muppet. Amazing guys could be passing you by but your missing them because your trying to figure him and his situation out.
I say, if it's meant to be it will happen but don't wait around

should I trust him?

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