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    I’m posting this anon because I don’t usually like talking publicly about how I feel but if someone cares enough to allow me to talk to them personally about my issue (for more info - through pm), depending on how comfortable I feel, I wouldn’t mind and it would be much appreciated:yy:.

    I’m currently doing my GCSE’s and have picked my A-level subjects in correlation to the subjects I enjoy/I’m good at and the career path I’d like to go into (engineering). I work hard and I’m doing well in my subjects and I’m predicted to get 4A*’s and 6A’s.

    Recently I’ve been worrying (an awful lot) about if what I want to do in life is really ‘me’ and if I’m only saying I’d like to do engineering for the sake of sounding smart or prepared. Most, if not all of my friends know exactly where they want to go so I feel like I’ve been forced to decide what I want to do.

    I remember when I was young and I would say I wanted to do things like be a policewoman or a builder or businesswoman or a scientist etc but now I feel like (especially for year 11 students) – deciding what you want to do in life is not fun anymore. I’m always searching up different professions such as law (which is what I originally wanted to do) and architecture and other stuff because I’m always worrying about whether I’ve made the right choice or not and I don’t want to have a narrow way of thinking about my future.

    I guess what I’m trying to say is:
    How do you know what you want to do in your life is “right” or “for you”?
    I never knew making decisions like this mattered so much when you’re 16 (especially nowadays).

    I feel way too embarrassed talking to my friends about this as they all seem to have their lives pretty much figured out and I really don’t want my parents to worry so I don’t really have anyone to talk too.
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    And yes, this is one of those “I just needed to vent” threads – don’t judge me
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    Anyone?
    I really feel like I need to talk to someone
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    This is very common, and chances ate several of if not most of your friends have similar feelings even if they don't admit it.

    I'm in my third year at uni and still feel lost and don't know what to do with my life. I wish I could tell you how to figure out what to do, but I can't. I think some people likely never figure it out, others figure it out very quickly and others later.

    What I would say, is if you're unsure try to keep your options open.
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    Hey you can pm me if you want

    I know that feel :cry2: - hell I'm in year 13 and I STILL don't know what I wanna do with my life, so much so that I didn't even apply to uni this year because I just couldn't decide on a possible back-up :lol:

    I know it's hard with pressure from parents and stuff, like I've been pushed to do med and therefore took all the wrong A levels ****ing biology but now I'm trying to focus on getting the best grades I can and then making my decisions and talking to people about it and stuff but that doesn't mean that I'm not spending all my time researching and procrastinating cos it's hard to get drive without a goal SO

    instead of making your goal a career, just set a grade target goal and be like "it doesn't matter what career I'm gonna choose, I just need to get these grades in order to keep ALL my options open" you know?

    and then you can decide what you feel interested in later
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    Don't worry about it. My brother didn't know what he wanted to do until the end of year 12. If I were you I would choose a-level options that:
    1) Interest you.
    2) Keeps your options open (for example maths)
    This way you have plenty of time to decide whether you want to do engineering or not and your doing subjects that you hopefully enjoy .
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    (Original post by z33)
    Hey you can pm me if you want

    I know that feel :cry2: - hell I'm in year 13 and I STILL don't know what I wanna do with my life, so much so that I didn't even apply to uni this year because I just couldn't decide on a possible back-up :lol:

    I know it's hard with pressure from parents and stuff, like I've been pushed to do med and therefore took all the wrong A levels ****ing biology

    **** submitted early brb fixing
    But my parents don't put any pressure on me (maybe a little) and they're completely fine with me getting average grades

    They've never put a label on me for a career path I should go into and maybe that's why I've never actually known what I want to do - I know people complain about it but I kind of wish they did put pressure on me because I feel so confused and now deciding my future is seriously stressing me out and getting boring
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    But my parents don't put any pressure on me (maybe a little) and they're completely fine with me getting average grades

    They've never put a label on me for a career path I should go into and maybe that's why I've never actually known what I want to do - I know people complain about it but I kind of wish they did put pressure on me because I feel so confused and now deciding my future is seriously stressing me out and getting boring
    so are mine, they constantly tell me theyre fine with whatever grades I get and they're okay with everything but it's the guilt that makes me feel like shiet :lol:

    it's worse when a label's put on you that you don't want bc now im like i want anything but that you can spend the summer researching! if you start stressing about this now and it makes you procrastinate you're gonna fail and then you won't even have the OPTION to choose which career you want when you find out what it is. So get the grades and then worry bout it! we have a lifetime to decide so why stress so early :lol:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I guess what I’m trying to say is:
    How do you know what you want to do in your life is “right” or “for you”?
    I never knew making decisions like this mattered so much when you’re 16 (especially nowadays).
    You're not alone. I was never 100% sure about what I wanted to do, so I picked the options I liked the most at the time. The thing is, what you enjoy today might not be the same thing you enjoy in 5 years. This is okay!

    Just because you follow one path when your young, it does not mean that you'll be following that path when you're older. A lot of people change their minds, in fact most people change careers several times throughout their lives.

    Also, it's very possible to become more passionate about something as you go along. I remember that I was really unsure about doing A level biology at the start of year 12, but now I have offers for a degree in neuroscience!

    What I'm saying is that you don't have to have it all planned out. Sometimes its better to pick something you think you might enjoy and test it out. If it turns out it was the wrong decision you will almost always have the option to change. Make a couple of rough plans, but go with the flow
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    (Original post by Laurasaur)
    You're not alone. I was never 100% sure about what I wanted to do, so I picked the options I liked the most at the time. The thing is, what you enjoy today might not be the same thing you enjoy in 5 years. This is okay!

    Just because you follow one path when your young, it does not mean that you'll be following that path when you're older. A lot of people change their minds, in fact most people change careers several times throughout their lives.

    Also, it's very possible to become more passionate about something as you go along. I remember that I was really unsure about doing A level biology at the start of year 12, but now I have offers for a degree in neuroscience!

    What I'm saying is that you don't have to have it all planned out. Sometimes its better to pick something you think you might enjoy and test it out. If it turns out it was the wrong decision you will almost always have the option to change. Make a couple of rough plans, but go with the flow
    Aww thanks for this
    I'll try not to stress too much, I just keep worrying about whether what I've decided to do with my life is what I actually want to do with my life or something I've just settled for just for the sake of it.

    It's hard to just 'go with the flow' when it's all people around me (who have figured it out) ever talk about
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    (Original post by humanteaparty)
    Don't worry about it. My brother didn't know what he wanted to do until the end of year 12. If I were you I would choose a-level options that:
    1) Interest you.
    2) Keeps your options open (for example maths)
    This way you have plenty of time to decide whether you want to do engineering or not and your doing subjects that you hopefully enjoy .
    Will do
    I feel like most of my subjects are more linked to engineering though so if I were to apply for anything else it may not work
    But I get what you mean
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    I understand how you feel, and when I was choosing my A levels (in my school we had to do it early) I was very barely confident.

    I was deciding between aero engineering and something politics related, because I honestly loved both.

    I decided to go for the engineering route (although I'm now applying for physics instead) because it provided a stable backup job in case I don't want to do a risky career (which politics is.) and risky careers like politics and business do not have required a levels anyway. They are about you and only you, which is why they are risky.

    I think that's a good rule of thumb, although it's not always true, but anything that is stable and tied to institution = requires A level and university choices, for example engineering and law, but anything that isn't, for example, business, politics, media = gives you freedom to choose.

    Now if you are deciding between a "stable" career like law and engineering and architecture, that's a tough one. I will be biased and say that STEM is the best because it gives you the most options (e.g research, engineering job, teaching, finance) whereas law is more restricted to law. But keep in mind that I am someone who really loved physics in GCSE and that was partly why I finally managed to make a choice for A level, and you may be different.

    I also should warn you to take only "hard" A levels, and nothing worthless like "tourism A level" or "hospitality A level", because they give you access to better unis (and therefore more doors) and flexibility in choice.

    I understand your need to vent, you still have time, so don't worry, keep chugging through life
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    (Original post by LibertyMan)
    I understand how you feel, and when I was choosing my A levels (in my school we had to do it early) I was very barely confident.

    I was deciding between aero engineering and something politics related, because I honestly loved both.

    I decided to go for the engineering route (although I'm now applying for physics instead) because it provided a stable backup job in case I don't want to do a risky career (which politics is.) and risky careers like politics and business do not have required a levels anyway. They are about you and only you, which is why they are risky.

    I think that's a good rule of thumb, although it's not always true, but anything that is stable and tied to institution = requires A level and university choices, for example engineering and law, but anything that isn't, for example, business, politics, media = gives you freedom to choose.

    Now if you are deciding between a "stable" career like law and engineering and architecture, that's a tough one. I will be biased and say that STEM is the best because it gives you the most options (e.g research, engineering job, teaching, finance) whereas law is more restricted to law. But keep in mind that I am someone who really loved physics in GCSE and that was partly why I finally managed to make a choice for A level, and you may be different.

    I also should warn you to take only "hard" A levels, and nothing worthless like "tourism A level" or "hospitality A level", because they give you access to better unis (and therefore more doors) and flexibility in choice.

    I understand your need to vent, you still have time, so don't worry, keep chugging through life
    Thank you. I'd say my A-level choices are considered to be respected subjects amongst top universities so I'm pretty safe and I've read somewhere that you can still go into law even without a law degree so I guess that makes me feel a lot more better
    I'm just fed up of constantly thinking/worrying about it - it's almost not enjoyable anymore
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    This is very common, and chances ate several of if not most of your friends have similar feelings even if they don't admit it.

    I'm in my third year at uni and still feel lost and don't know what to do with my life. I wish I could tell you how to figure out what to do, but I can't. I think some people likely never figure it out, others figure it out very quickly and others later.

    What I would say, is if you're unsure try to keep your options open.
    I will try to and it is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one going through this (especially because you're at a completely different stage in your life compared to me)

    Still feel a bit isolated though, I honestly feel like my friends are so prepared and I'm just a confused wreck.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I will try to and it is reassuring to know that I'm not the only one going through this (especially because you're at a completely different stage in your life compared to me)

    Still feel a bit isolated though, I honestly feel like my friends are so prepared and I'm just a confused wreck.
    Don't compare your life or your goals to others, it will drive you mad. There will always be someone more put together than you, or with more achievable goals, or more talented or successful than you no matter what you do. So it is pointless to even think about it, let alone dwell on it.
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    (Original post by SophieSmall)
    Don't compare your life or your goals to others, it will drive you mad. There will always be someone more put together than you, or with more achievable goals, or more talented or successful than you no matter what you do. So it is pointless to even think about it, let alone dwell on it.
    Honestly its no harm realising hey I should be doing that! Or that is possible and a better way of doing things!

    But in general theres no need for this stressed out attitude lots of us have.

    Sophies gotta be one of the most intelligent gals on this shindig of a website. id trust her OP if I was yeh.
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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    Honestly its no harm realising hey I should be doing that! Or that is possible and a better way of doing things!

    But in general theres no need for this stressed out attitude lots of us have.

    Sophies gotta be one of the most intelligent gals on this shindig of a website. id trust her OP if I was yeh.
    Yep, I've seen a couple of her posts so receiving a reply from her has definitely put me at ease
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    You should always do what you love and what you are passionate about. What would you see yourself enjoying in the future? Take the Summer Holidays after your exams to contemplate this, then when you've made your decision - start working towards it.

    I thought being a businessman best exercised my mathematical skills, but then I found that I was very creative and I'd rather be making and creating stuff - thinking about new things. So, engineering was the ideal choice for me, I couldn't see myself enjoying anything else.

    If it hasn't already, your passion will come to you, you're your own person and you function at your own pace, so your future career will come to you in your own time. Meanwhile, do what you love for A-Levels and you'll succeed.
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    (Original post by trustmeimlying1)
    Honestly its no harm realising hey I should be doing that! Or that is possible and a better way of doing things!

    But in general theres no need for this stressed out attitude lots of us have.

    Sophies gotta be one of the most intelligent gals on this shindig of a website. id trust her OP if I was yeh.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yep, I've seen a couple of her posts so receiving a reply from her has definitely put me at ease
    Well now you guys are just making me blush. Get out of here with your niceties, it's so unusual for TSR.
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    (Original post by Afro Tail)
    You should always do what you love and what you are passionate about. What would you see yourself enjoying in the future? Take the Summer Holidays after your exams to contemplate this, then when you've made your decision - start working towards it.

    I thought being a businessman best exercised my mathematical skills, but then I found that I was very creative and I'd rather be making and creating stuff - thinking about new things. So, engineering was the ideal choice for me, I couldn't see myself enjoying anything else.

    If it hasn't already, your passion will come to you, you're your own person and you function at your own pace, so your future career will come to you in your own time. Meanwhile, do what you love for A-Levels and you'll succeed.
    The trouble with that is not everyone has passions, not everyone finds passions and not everyone's passions are a feasible route for success or profit.

    While I understand the sentiment of the ever touted "follow your dreams" it's not actually very feasible advice in most cases. Sure there are exceptions and there are always people who do well at finding a way to make their passions a pay check, but it's not realistic for everyone to have that in this economy.

    I mean just look at me, turn 21 soon and in my third year of university on a degree I completely regret and as such have very much closed off future opportunities to myself in many ways (cannot do a second degree funded) and I don't really have any passions to pursue. Unless you count relaxing, eating and watching TV shows and movies a passion. It's just not attainable for everyone.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Anyone?
    I really feel like I need to talk to someone
    I thought I knew what I wanted to do in life when I was 16, went to uni, dropped out at 20, floated about dealing with personal issues, switched between various dead end jobs, got a slightly better job, trained myself in lots of things and I've only just figured out in the last few months what career I want and I'm 26 now! There's no need to rush ... you might decide what you want to do and then get stuck in a rut doing it for a while and from that realise a few years down the line what you really want to do. It might take you a while to figure it out.

    Patience, persistence and self-belief are all you need, the rest falls into place with life experience and understanding.
 
 
 
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