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Death of a family member: Should I see a counsellor?

ok, so, a few months ago a family member died. I thought i was coping ok but since it happened all ive been thinking about is the person who died and how the person died/ was found. I think about it everyday and since the death i havent really felt myself and most days i feel like i can just cry at every little thing and if i cry i will never stop. Since the death I have also started to think about other family members who have died and also other things that have happened. Its getting me really down.
Im no good at talking to people how i feel and stuff i never really have but someone said if i want someone to talk to and cant talk to them why not see a counsellor.
I don't know if i should, i thought about it but i feel i will probably waste their time and i may not even speak.
Would counselling be a good thing? Just having someone who will listen to me talk and not think i am being stupid for how i feel?
What happens when you see a counsellor?

Reply 1

Lidka

13

Counselling certainly sounds like it would be a good thing for you. :smile:

Having someone there who is purely to listen is such a help. A death in the family is a shock, and often shock sets in later than people expect. Don't feel like it may be a waste of time - even if you don't speak, you've got the opportunity to, and you may discover you actually have quite a lot to say. A good counsellor should help you explore your feelings, help you understand why you have them and teach you how to cope with them. Assuming you are a student, your school, college or university should have a counselling service. There are also plenty of independent services, like Relate, and the Samaritans are also available for a chat. Don't be afraid to give it go. :smile:

I hope you feel better soon...

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Hey, thank you for the reply.
I have almost finished college for the year. I should have gone to the college counsellor sooner :confused:

I don't know if they would still see people now.

Reply 3

Lidka

13

Anonymous

Hey, thank you for the reply.
I have almost finished college for the year. I should have gone to the college counsellor sooner :confused:

I don't know if they would still see people now.

You're welcome. :smile:

Even if your college counsellor may have finished, he or she will be able to refer you to someone else. Good luck!

Reply 4

BabyBee

if not try ur local connexions centre and they can refer u to a cousellor tha way,
id definately try it - u may find it easier to tlk to someone you don't know.
im her if u do want to IM someone, tho i have no qualifications!lol

You have nothing to lose by trying a counsellor.

i know how u feel. grief is hard to deal with. i had trouble talking to my family because i knew they too were grieving and i didnt and still dont want to remind them or upset them.

good luck
time will make it easier xx

Reply 5

Tufts

17

Good luck with getting counselling on the NHS.

I lost my father to cancer in Feb 2006 and I'm still on the waiting list.

:hugs:

Reply 6

AverageGuyOnTheStreet

9

Tufts

Good luck with getting counselling on the NHS.

I lost my father to cancer in Feb 2006 and I'm still on the waiting list.

:hugs:

OMG that sounds horrible. I'm trying to get on the waiting list (have a GP appointment on Thursday) for counselling, though for depression. That really scares me.

But OP, I would recommend counselling. It often helps to talk to someone. I'm now regretting not being able to talk to people about childhood problems that were a much lesser extent than death of a family member. :hugs:

to you.

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

ok, thankyou! :smile:

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Yeah I'm in a similar position to you and I know what you mean about thinking about that person all the time and being fragile. It gets worse before it gets harder in my opinion but over time it should be less painful. I feel it all the time as kind of an ache as I was very close to the person. I talk to my family about it sometimes and friends although they usually just go quiet. Find someone to talk to about it, consellors aren't anywhere near as good as talking to someone who knew the person and feels what your feeling. Good Luck stay strong

Reply 9

Insignificant B

I have had a very similar experience and talking about it has allowed me to forgive myself and to perservere in life. If you need someone to talk to you can always give me a shout.

Mike.

Reply 10

Tabris

16

A family member was murdered a few months ago, it was shocking and to be fair, I didn't know how to deal with it at first because I was so surprised/

But like people have said, just find someone to talk to, whether it be a counsellor or a good friend, having someone to confide in really does help. Rather than keeping it bottled in.

You'll be alright anyway :smile:

Reply 11

Insignificant B

Tabris

A family member was murdered a few months ago, it was shocking and to be fair, I didn't know how to deal with it at first because I was so surprised/

But like people have said, just find someone to talk to, whether it be a counsellor or a good friend, having someone to confide in really does help. Rather than keeping it bottled in.

You'll be alright anyway :smile:

Jeez that must be tough. You are certainly a tough person. My cousin died a few years back and i blamed myself. Only yesterday talking to my girlfriend about it helped me get over that feeling. You do have to talk about it otherwise those feelings that you have multiply.

Mike.

Death of a family member: Should I see a counsellor?

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