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My parents are constantly arguing, they are forgetting about me and I can't cope. watch

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    So I am 16, I'm going to do my GCSEs in a month, and I'm a good student getting majority A*s. But that's not the point.

    Since I was about 6 years old, I vividly remember my parents screaming at each other, arguing over the smallest of things. And, of course, it's been continuing for the past 10 years. Everything that goes wrong, there's an argument. My father lies, my mother screams at him. And they both take their anger out on me. Like they snap at me, shout at me if I do something wrong, get an A instead of an A*.

    And today, it just reached boiling point. I poured all my feelings to my mother, and she just brushed it off, saying how much she suffers. I told her I haven't had a happy childhood, she says "tell your father". I say, why do you ignore me and snap at me when I talk to you she says, "ask your father".

    I cannot cope anymore. I just want to leave my house, run away. Obviously I can't. Lately I've been getting really depressed (I don't do anything to myself- like cut myself) but I just bottle my feelings up. I pretend to be happy but I'm not. Sometimes I feel like crying...

    My parents don't care, they just care about themselves and their own wellbeing. I don't know what to do anymore.
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    Also I noticed I've been getting really bad stomach cramps, or cramps in my sides. I think that this is starting to affect my health.
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    Damn OP, that's horrible. Do you have any brothers or sisters you could talk to?
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    (Original post by homeland.lsw)
    Damn OP, that's horrible. Do you have any brothers or sisters you could talk to?
    No, I only have my parents
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, I only have my parents
    Um...I'm not sure then.
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    (Original post by homeland.lsw)
    Um...I'm not sure then.
    Can anyone else help?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Can anyone else help?
    Um...sure I'll tag a few people off of the top of my head.
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    I'd try and sit both of them down in the same room and explain to them how it's affecting you. If they snap at you and make digs at each other, then literally just point it out in front of them. Tell them you're very unhappy and that they need to either find a way to get along or not be together. Treat them like children if they won't act like adults.
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    Have you spoken to any friends or relatives about this? Anyone you're close to will want to help you. Maybe it's time to speak to a councillor or a doctor for some advice? Don't think about speaking to a professional as negative; they're there to help you.
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    Just ignore them and think about your future. The thing you will most regret is letting them being the reason you mess up at GCSE. Think about getting good grades and that will help you out and motivate you. Do something to help you take your mind off them, talk to a friend, listen to music etc etc.
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    Have you spoken to your dad about it?

    Are you male or female?
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Have you spoken to your dad about it?

    Are you male or female?
    My dad is at work. But I've told him before, he just says "tell your mother"
    And I'm a boy
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    (Original post by darkvibes)
    Just ignore them and think about your future. The thing you will most regret is letting them being the reason you mess up at GCSE. Think about getting good grades and that will help you out and motivate you. Do something to help you take your mind off them, talk to a friend, listen to music etc etc.
    And what? Put up with them treating me harshly? Why do I always have to be the one to let them walk all over me
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    I've had a few friends go through pretty similar scenarios, and I can only imagine how hard it must be. (I don't usually comment in this section, but I feel this is close to home.)
    The main thing is that you stay positive. - This is the priority. With your GCSEs coming up and just for your general health this is important.

    We all argue with one another, parents seem to do it more than anyone else :'), but evidently if this is affecting you in a detrimental way then it's worth trying to resolve. Have a talk with your father, try get through to him. Explain the importance of this time in your life, say how you hope they can stop arguing as it only upsets you.
    If this doesn't work out too well I'd suggest speaking to a relative, preferable another adult. A grandparent, uncle or whoever else (someone who your close to is best) may be able to intervene and get through to your parents.

    Also, sometimes you just need to vent. I often feel people think expressing your emotions publicly is a bad thing, it's not. Speak to a friend, relative or someone on TSR - personally, I find getting something of my chest massively helps.

    I hope everything works out.
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    (Original post by carrotstar)
    Have you spoken to any friends or relatives about this? Anyone you're close to will want to help you. Maybe it's time to speak to a councillor or a doctor for some advice? Don't think about speaking to a professional as negative; they're there to help you.
    No, my aunt wouldn't care. My other family don't speak English very well. My friends wouldn't be able to help me. Also I can't go to the doctor or Councillor, I don't want social services to come and really ruin things
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    My dad is at work. But I've told him before, he just says "tell your mother"
    And I'm a boy
    Sounds like they are both deflecting the problem off on to each other but that's really immature.

    I say sit them both down together, and explain how you're feeling with how they're acting and how it's affecting you. Explain that if they continue they cannot then moan at you about your grades because how they are acting is making it hard for you to relax and concentrate to revise and is making you unnecessarily stressed.

    I know it's hard because they're your parents. But they need a wake up call. I've had to act the adult several times with my parents and it's not enjoyable but they need to start thinking about how they're relationship is affecting you and stop being so selfish.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    And what? Put up with them treating me harshly? Why do I always have to be the one to let them walk all over me
    Why im saying leave it is because any drastic action that you take is likely to affect your grades. In the future, you will regret it if you fail your GCSEs. Just put up with it until GCSEs are over and keep yourself emotionally stable.

    If it is a problem, take action after exams, thats what i would say.
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    (Original post by Kozmo)
    I've had a few friends go through pretty similar scenarios, and I can only imagine how hard it must be. (I don't usually comment in this section, but I feel this is close to home.)
    The main thing is that you stay positive. - This is the priority. With your GCSEs coming up and just for your general health this is important.

    We all argue with one another, parents seem to do it more than anyone else :', but evidently if this is affecting you in a detrimental way then it's worth trying to resolve. Have a talk with your father, try get through to him. Explain the importance of this time in your life, say how you hope they can stop arguing as it only upsets you.
    If this doesn't work out too well I'd suggest speaking to a relative, preferable another adult. A grandparent, uncle or whoever else (someone who your close to is best) may be able to intervene and get through to your parents.

    Also, sometimes you just need to vent. I often feel people think expressing your emotions publicly is a bad thing, it's not. Speak to a friend, relative or someone on TSR - personally, I find getting something of my chest massively helps.

    I hope everything works out.
    Both sets of my grandparents are dead. My relatives don't speak good english. They live on the other side of the world. They would take my parents' side.

    I'm going to talk to my father when he gets home.
    But do you know what hurts? My mother screaming at me now, that it's my fault. That I don't take her side when they argue. That I have nothing to be sad about. It's all about her.
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Sounds like they are both deflecting the problem off on to each other but that's really immature.

    I say sit them both down together, and explain how you're feeling with how they're acting and how it's affecting you. Explain that if they continue they cannot then moan at you about your grades because how they are acting is making it hard for you to relax and concentrate to revise and is making you unnecessarily stressed.

    I know it's hard because they're your parents. But they need a wake up call. I've had to act the adult several times with my parents and it's not enjoyable but they need to start thinking about how they're relationship is affecting you and stop being so selfish.
    To add to this, if they won't listen to you when you try to talk to them face-to-face, then write down how it makes you feel and put it under their pillows or something, even in a drawer where only they will find it. Curiosity is human nature so I can almost guarantee they'll read it, and you can gauge how you shsould proceed based on their reactions.

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    No, my aunt wouldn't care. My other family don't speak English very well. My friends wouldn't be able to help me. Also I can't go to the doctor or Councillor, I don't want social services to come and really ruin things
    I'm sorry that you're in such a challenging situation! Your friends might be able to help you by getting things off your chest? Why can't you go to the doctor or councillor? Your school will have one and they aren't going to do anything unless they think it's necessary. Maybe telling your parents that you're considering talking to social services would give them a wake-up call, actually!
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    (Original post by Ethereal World)
    Sounds like they are both deflecting the problem off on to each other but that's really immature.

    I say sit them both down together, and explain how you're feeling with how they're acting and how it's affecting you. Explain that if they continue they cannot then moan at you about your grades because how they are acting is making it hard for you to relax and concentrate to revise and is making you unnecessarily stressed.

    I know it's hard because they're your parents. But they need a wake up call. I've had to act the adult several times with my parents and it's not enjoyable but they need to start thinking about how they're relationship is affecting you and stop being so selfish.
    As I said to someone else, it hurts when your mother tells you it's your fault, that if you hadn't been born or whatever she wouldn't feel like this. That she's a saint for putting up with my father. How I should be grateful.

    She said that she's going to bed now. She can't deal with my "attention seeking"
    What was the use in pouring my heart out to a woman that doesn't even care about me?
 
 
 
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