Return to the 13 yr old mentality / subconscious sabotage? Help!

I'm posting this in the vain hope that I'll see how ridiculous I'm being when it's all written out on an internet forum, and get over it.
I'll keep it short -
Actively pursued this guy for about 6 weeks.
Through this, he believed I fancied his close friend.
Been casually seeing eachother for about 3 weeks.

My problem is this: He makes me self-conscious. When we walk down the street, I won't let him act "couply" because I feel like people would be thinking, "what's he doing with HER?!". And tbh, he is painfully attractive (he models when he can be bothered), but I've done a bit myself and I have never had confidence issues (quite the reverse, sadly :p:

), and if we're at a restaurant having dinner or out together at uni social events I don't feel remotely self-conscious. It's just when we're out where the general public can see us a couple that I suddenly get hit with this 12 year old panic about what we look like.

Problem is that I think he thinks I'm going off him; he's pretty confident (read: ridiculously arrogant), but not about his looks and he doesn't realise that the only reason I became friends with his friends was so that I could be invited out with him and so see him more. And I think he thinks I'm ashamed of him or did really want to end up with his friend (especially as we run in quite different circles and I sometimes introduce [dismiss?] him as a 'friend').

We are so compatible that this could really go somewhere - but I really don't seem to be able to get over this! I spoke to a friend about this and she suggested that it was just doing my usual - pushing people away, especially as he turned out to be a lot more than I thought initially (read: I just wanted him on his knees :wink:

), and now that I think it could turn into something I'm finding a way to sabotage the relationship. Plausible? Or am I just experiencing that adolescent insecure thing about 5 years too late?
I want you people to tell me that I need to come back with a real problem...seriously, wtf is happening :s-smilie:

Reply 1

khil

As requested - come back when you have a real problem :biggrin:

Nah, just kidding. Talk to the guy. You don't actually want to sabotage something that could be so good. So talk to him, tell him of your problems, tell him the truth, and let things sort itself out :smile:

Relationships should be based on trust and love, and communication is quite a vital part as well :smile:

It doesn't matter so much why you're doing this - it matters more that you recognise that there is a problem, and it needs sorting out. Now, how are you going to go about sorting it out? First step - talk to the guy :smile:

Good luck! :hugs: