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Finally got over - now confused

I admit I was one of the few that posted endlessly about having a crush on my best mate, and whatever i thought it just wouldn't go away. However, something happened the other day that made something click, she detected i still harboured feelings for her, and got a bit angry. However, thanks to that something just finally clicked and i realised that actually our feelings are very similar and although i keep kidding myself i love her as a friend far more than anything else, and tbh shes not even my type; and now feel free to perv over all the girls i want to! :biggrin:

However, I always thought said girl was my dream girlfriend, but now im realising shes my dream friend - someone who i can confide in, shares my views and feel so great to be with. The trouble is that was the criteria i looked for in a lover, now i'm realising thats the criteria for just a really really really close friend. TBH I made myself believe said girl was attractive, as she matched that criteria perfectly, but now don't actually think she is.

Question is, now wtf do i look for in a girlfriend?? Since my thoughts of a dream girl were invalid!

Reply 1

Talya

Stop.. looking.. you will know you are attracted to someone when it happens.. Why don't you join a dating site?

Reply 2

Paperfolders57

Remain calm and chill to , like the best things come eventually!

Reply 3

HeadShock

i think your saying all this because you can't get her..i think she is your type and your kidding yourself saying she isn't..

Reply 4

tetrahydrocannabinol.

iTalya

Stop.. looking.. Why don't you join a dating site?

Isn't that a bit of a contradiction?

Reply 5

Talya

chloe-libertine

Isn't that a bit of a contradiction?

Will elaborate:

Stop looking IRL.

Join a dating site to see if you can find what kind of girl interests you now. Don't necessarily need to date anyone from there.

Reply 6

Cowz

I'd say for the time being it sounds like you need to explore what you find physically attractive. I suggest nice round breasts would be a good starting point :biggrin:

Reply 7

Sharpnel

eat healthy, go to the gym, spend time with friends/studying/work/hobbies

girls will come to you everyday and their life revolves around you, rather than the other way round

Reply 8

tbtommyb

HeadShock

i think your saying all this because you can't get her..i think she is your type and your kidding yourself saying she isn't..

This is a possibility.

Just try and imagine what it would be like going out with her. Would it feel a bit weird, or awkward? I was in a kind of similar situation to the OP, but I realised that going out with the person would be a bit strange. You see them as a friend in your mind, so to change that to a different relationship would require a big wrench in your mind. If all you want to do is be close to her and spend time with her, then I think that is close friendship. If you find her sexually attractive, then you're lying to yourself, as HeadShock said might be happening.

Reply 9

simple_things

don't go looking. if you go looking you won't find much of worth. let things draw together by themselves. leaves you with tough decisions occasionally, but that's the way it goes. enjoy love. it shouldn't be a chore or an X marks the spot.

Reply 10

shauny

Erm..how can you not know what you find attractive bud? Get out there, ask a few girls out that you find attractive. Easy as 1-2-3. :wink:

Why are you LOOKING for a girlfriend? Having a girlfriend is cool and all, but seeing a few girls (playing the field) at once is also cool as well.

..shauny

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