I feel like I need to change myself

I recently went through a really bad experience with a guy where he convinced me he liked me by calling me constantly and feeding me lines about how special I was etc, telling me everything I wanted to hear. I then completely fell for him even though I wasn't really interested when we first met, and he then went on to promptly reject me (after sleeping with me) when I confessed that I had feelings for him.

All this has had a REALLY bad impact on my self-confidence as his friends have pointed and laughed at me in clubs and I know he's talked about me behind my back. He also made me swear that I wouldn't tell anyone that we hooked up, and I feel like he's ashamed of the fact that he slept with me.

Since then I've felt really fat, ugly and unattractive and I feel like I need to change myself desperately over the summer in order to look good when I go back to university in September. I know myself, and I know I won't feel confident enough to go out anywhere, knowing he might be there and that I'll look like my old frumpy self and that he will laugh at me with his friends.

I've planned a diet for the summer, some new clothes I'd like to buy and some other things, but the main problem is my teeth. They are really mis-aligned and have gaps and I want to raise money to get veneers but I'm having difficulty. I want to go abroad to get them done since it's a lot cheaper but I don't know who to go with. And I'm not secure going alone. I know this is what I need to get confident for September, anyone have any helpful suggestions? xoxoxox

Reply 1

Ginger_Rogers

7

Make sure that you are doing it for yourself though, not for him...

Reply 2

Angrybanana

11

What an absolute bastard (the guy, not you).
I agree that you should only have a makeover to please yourself and not him. And if I were you, not only would I make it common knowledge that you slept with this prick, I would also start some interesting rumours relating to his miniscule manhood, and his general inability to perform in the sack.

Reply 3

tigerladie

i guess you could just work as much as possible to earn a lot of money and then just have your teeth done professionally in england, i think that'll be much safer!!!

but again, what GR said make sure you're doing it for yourself and not him, who sounds like a nasty piece of work.

Reply 4

Laursy

10

do it for you i did the very same well minus wanting surgry funnily enough ive been on a diet for about a month and i have gained weight lol so that idea is fading away fast!!!

you just need to walk into that club head held high smile on your face and show hes not geting to you as hard as it sounds coz then he will get bored if you make him see you have moved on never ever let a guy feel that low about yourself!!!

none is worth it look after number one and have a great time after me and my ex broke up i went out all dolled up and i went for a dance in the club and i was having soo much fun it was amazing his mates were there i just said hi and carried on having a good time lol!! prob shocked to see me actully enjoying myself!

Reply 5

coloursonthetv

1

A make over will not undo what this idiot has made you feel but even though it was a terrible situation you shouldn't let anyone influence how you feel about yourself.

I think you need to work on your self worth and confidence rather than go in at the deep end with all these quick fix and somewhat costly temporary solutions.

Just give it some time and learn to really love yourself for who you are :smile:

Reply 6

PhilMc

16

There's nothing wrong with wanting to keep in better shape physically.

BUT do not do it because of someone else - ever. That's a road to nowhere, because you'll try to get one better on him, then maybe next time you'll change to please someone else - and pretty soon you'll just wish you hadn't

Reply 7

izwhiz

Your gunna be bored of hearing this but really, don't do it just cos some loser has made you feel pants!!! when diets start for that reason they can go terribly wrong!

If you feel that it would help your self confidence then go for it but make sure when you go back to uni you have your head held high and don't let him see that this has affected you!!!

xxxxx

Reply 8

silence

16

woah woah woah, don't bother with any of the teeth alterations or anything like that. or even diets etc.

the average social crowd consists of many different types of people - at times you might very well come across men who behave in such dismal ways, but it's only a matter of time before you come across someone who likes you for who you really are. don't let this one guy take away your confidence. though do get some new clothes if you want because that never does any harm.

Reply 9

Spleh

If you let yourself be defined by others, you will always be repulsive and dim-witted. People will always walk all over you, debase you and make you feel a overall rubbish human being.

If you define yourself, you can be whatever you want. You can do the walking or the debasing...or I guess you could just be nice. :cool:

Reply 10

BabyBee

learn to love yourself.
you are beautiful

he is a beep (i refuse to swear) dont let him be worth it

Reply 11

shauny

silence

woah woah woah, don't bother with any of the teeth alterations or anything like that. or even diets etc.

the average social crowd consists of many different types of people - at times you might very well come across men who behave in such dismal ways, but it's only a matter of time before you come across someone who likes you for who you really are. don't let this one guy take away your confidence. though do get some new clothes if you want because that never does any harm.

All self-improvement should be done for YOU, so advising her against doing it is bad advice - she clearly WANTS to do this for her own confidence and self-esteem :smile:

..shauny

Reply 12

Aline

3

Laursy

funnily enough ive been on a diet for about a month and i have gained weight lol QUOTE]

It happened the same to me... I only eated fries and sweets, sometimes my lunch /dinner was a toast or youghurt and lots of cookies instead of "real" food . Some day I realised I might be doing harm to my health and needed to shape a little bit. So, I started eating vegetables, grilled fish,etc,instead. And now I am fatter. How can that be?
To the OP, well, I think you should do whatever makes you feel better with yourself. Sometimes it's hard to continue a diet or exercising, motivation is needed. I confess it is a lot easier when our friends are also in a diet or exercising, mine aren't but I hope I'll be able to make it 'till summer.

I feel like I need to change myself

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