The Student Room Group

Dealing with death vs exams

Hey,

My grandmother passed away on friday. I thought I was dealing with it, but I've realised how little work i've done this weekend. I'm studying medicine and i've got a Final in 12 days. I was working extremely hard, but now i've lost all motivation. I don't know what to do. Today, I went to the library to study, I ended up googling random things about life after death etc, I just feel like i can't concentrate.

I guess I'm looking out for advice on how to deal with her death. I was very close to her. When I heard the news, I didn't even cry; maybe because i'd been expecting it for a while...I kinda feel mad at myself for not feeling so upset at that time. Now, i don't even know what i feel...sad maybe. Her funeral's tommorw and i can;t even go becuase she's in a different country.

Reply 1

Sorry for your loss; talk to a tutor or head of department at uni as you can be given extra time/marks in exams.

Reply 2

A family member of mine died a few months ago and I fell really behind with my college work. Im still trying to catch up now and our work has to be in next week, so I will be lucky if i get it all finished.
I too lost all my concentration and motivation. Infact, I still can't stay motivated for a very long time.
Maybe speak to someone at uni, they may be able to help.
Hope all goes well for you.

Reply 3

^ that's very true. I would speak to the professor. Explain the problem and tell him how serious this has affected you. He/she will hopefully be of more assistance.

Reply 4

Sorry to hear about your grandmother

You need to speak to someone at uni asap to let them know whats going on, they will be able to sort something out for you. If you choose to do the exams then obviously you will be able to submit extenuating circumstances

Reply 5

thanks guys, but i dn't go to a uk uni...i'm in an international school in europe at the moment, they don't really do the whole extenuating circumstances/extra marks thing (the final exam is oral too)

Reply 6

I take it you've spoken to someone and found that out?

Reply 7

Hmmm...it's just an assumption...they;re a little behind here...they don't even have a student's union, but guess i could speak to a teacher tommorow and ask

Reply 8

Do most unis do that? Especially for finals? At my uni if your whole family is killed in front of you the day before your finals it's basically just tough, there's no provision for it at all.

OP I think you just need to force yourself to work. Once you get into something it'll distract you. You just need to get in to a routine of working and not thinking about your grandmother. Once the exams are over then you're free to mourn properly. It's obviously really hard but I think you just have to try to push it to the back of your mind until the end of finals.

Reply 9

supanogi
Hmmm...it's just an assumption...they;re a little behind here...they don't even have a student's union, but guess i could speak to a teacher tommorow and ask


Definitely do that! :smile:

Reply 10

supanogi
Hey,

My grandmother passed away on friday. I thought I was dealing with it, but I've realised how little work i've done this weekend. I'm studying medicine and i've got a Final in 12 days. I was working extremely hard, but now i've lost all motivation. I don't know what to do. Today, I went to the library to study, I ended up googling random things about life after death etc, I just feel like i can't concentrate.

I guess I'm looking out for advice on how to deal with her death. I was very close to her. When I heard the news, I didn't even cry; maybe because i'd been expecting it for a while...I kinda feel mad at myself for not feeling so upset at that time. Now, i don't even know what i feel...sad maybe. Her funeral's tommorw and i can;t even go becuase she's in a different country.


Email your tutor and get extenuating circumstances. One of my friends' grandma died too last summer, and she was also really close to her and basically fell into depression. She's now suspended her year and gone back home, and due to return and repeat her 2nd year come Sep. Her fiance who supported her throughout also got extenuating circumstance and so instead of doing an exam in Jan, he's writing an essay for it to be handed in this month.

Don't let this affect your performance in exams - talk to your tutor and see if anything could be sorted out.

:hugs:

Reply 11

:hugs: I'm sorry to hear about your loss. Though you should be able to get extenuating circumstances for your exams. It really sucks of you can't. I would advise you to talk to someone you can trust (or even a counsellor) on a personal level as you are bound to be affected really badly.

Reply 12

When my mother died I was excused from taking an assessed essay completely. You should definately talk to your head of department/supervisor/college dean.

Reply 13

This happened to me in first year - my Grandma died about a week before my exams (I'm a medic too, so they were important even if they were only first year).

Basically, either you just get your head down and get on with things - do you want to potentially delay your education because of this, or do you want to carry on with life and not let it get in your way? This doesn't mean your Grandma meant any less to you, just that your life still goes on. Or you can find out about getting exams rearranged or whatever, but it may not be possible, so I wouldn't give up on the work just yet.

Talk to someone and find out what your options are. I was basically told "Well, if you don't take the exams now, you'll have to take the year out" and there was no way that was happening, so I took them and it was fine, and I'm glad I did, because I know my Grandma sure as hell wouldn't want me dropping out of a year because of her.