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    My parents have recently got divorced but are still living in the same house. There was a big row tonight because mum had packed some boxs with her books and dad wanted half of them. There have been millions of petty rows like this. I got involved, ended up hitting dad repeatedly, screaming, shouting all the works and he has threated to press charges which I wouldnt put past him. The guy is an absolute *******.

    The rows have been going on for 6/7 months now and I just cant cope anymore. Ive been sobbing in my room because I hate the person Ive become. I hate the things Ive said and most of all because I hate him so much. I dont feel like I can leave because I cant leave my mum and my two brothers. I feel sooo trapped and scared.

    He started trashing the hallway this evening and I went out to stop him and there was this massive row that the whole house got involved in. This is the night before my chemistry exam.

    I dont know what to do. Ive packed my stuff and I think I'll probably leave tomorrow or maybe tonight but Im so scared for my mum and wee brothers. I havent passed my driving test but I would take the car and maybe sleep in it tonight. Im 18 btw.

    Im past the point of coping. Any advice would be much appreciated. Please help. I feel so lost and almost dead inside.
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    do you have any friends or family you could go to??
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    My parents have recently got divorced but are still living in the same house. There was a big row tonight because mum had packed some boxs with her books and dad wanted half of them. There have been millions of petty rows like this. I got involved, ended up hitting dad repeatedly, screaming, shouting all the works and he has threated to press charges which I wouldnt put past him. The guy is an absolute *******.

    The rows have been going on for 6/7 months now and I just cant cope anymore. Ive been sobbing in my room because I hate the person Ive become. I hate the things Ive said and most of all because I hate him so much. I dont feel like I can leave because I cant leave my mum and my two brothers. I feel sooo trapped and scared.

    He started trashing the hallway this evening and I went out to stop him and there was this massive row that the whole house got involved in. This is the night before my chemistry exam.

    I dont know what to do. Ive packed my stuff and I think I'll probably leave tomorrow or maybe tonight but Im so scared for my mum and wee brothers. I havent passed my driving test but I would take the car and maybe sleep in it tonight. Im 18 btw.

    Im past the point of coping. Any advice would be much appreciated. Please help. I feel so lost and almost dead inside.
    i'm not good with these things.....but can't you stay with a friend for a couple of days??
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    My parents have recently got divorced but are still living in the same house. There was a big row tonight because mum had packed some boxs with her books and dad wanted half of them. There have been millions of petty rows like this. I got involved, ended up hitting dad repeatedly, screaming, shouting all the works and he has threated to press charges which I wouldnt put past him. The guy is an absolute *******.

    The rows have been going on for 6/7 months now and I just cant cope anymore. Ive been sobbing in my room because I hate the person Ive become. I hate the things Ive said and most of all because I hate him so much. I dont feel like I can leave because I cant leave my mum and my two brothers. I feel sooo trapped and scared.

    He started trashing the hallway this evening and I went out to stop him and there was this massive row that the whole house got involved in. This is the night before my chemistry exam.

    I dont know what to do. Ive packed my stuff and I think I'll probably leave tomorrow or maybe tonight but Im so scared for my mum and wee brothers. I havent passed my driving test but I would take the car and maybe sleep in it tonight. Im 18 btw.

    Im past the point of coping. Any advice would be much appreciated. Please help. I feel so lost and almost dead inside.
    I know how it must feel. Being involved in something you just wish you didn't have to be. In theory, it shouldn't even bother you but you always manage to get involved in it.
    You have a chemistry exam tomorrow so maybe you shouldn't do something do drastic. You still should get to the exam in good shape. But you're right, your parents need to understand that there are civilized ways of dealing with matters like this and that their behaviour has become totally selfish as they've totally forgotten the impact it might have on you. They're probably so focused on their bitterness. I'd at least do something to give them a message. There's only so much you can do verbally.
    Do you have a friend you could go to?
    I'm not sure you want to take the car. That might not turn out the way you want it to. Unless you've already driven a car...
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    My parents have recently got divorced but are still living in the same house. There was a big row tonight because mum had packed some boxs with her books and dad wanted half of them. There have been millions of petty rows like this. I got involved, ended up hitting dad repeatedly, screaming, shouting all the works and he has threated to press charges which I wouldnt put past him. The guy is an absolute *******.

    The rows have been going on for 6/7 months now and I just cant cope anymore. Ive been sobbing in my room because I hate the person Ive become. I hate the things Ive said and most of all because I hate him so much. I dont feel like I can leave because I cant leave my mum and my two brothers. I feel sooo trapped and scared.

    He started trashing the hallway this evening and I went out to stop him and there was this massive row that the whole house got involved in. This is the night before my chemistry exam.

    I dont know what to do. Ive packed my stuff and I think I'll probably leave tomorrow or maybe tonight but Im so scared for my mum and wee brothers. I havent passed my driving test but I would take the car and maybe sleep in it tonight. Im 18 btw.

    Im past the point of coping. Any advice would be much appreciated. Please help. I feel so lost and almost dead inside.
    my mum left my dad with me and my brother, and we moved to a flat in lossiemouth, i think he paid 1 payment thingy, then moved to indonesia for about 5 years and came back and saw me and my brother and sister twice and moved up to fintry. *******.
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    I have just spoken to a friend and she says Im welcome to come round to hers. I know how to drive and have taken the car out by myself a few times. I cant stop crying tho. I cant cope. Ive been so strong throughout the whole thing but Im just so broken now.
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    (Original post by polljk)
    my mum left my dad with me and my brother, and we moved to a flat in lossiemouth, i think he paid 1 payment thingy, then moved to indonesia for about 5 years and came back and saw me and my brother and sister twice and moved up to fintry. *******.
    he left you on your own??
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    I have just spoken to a friend and she says Im welcome to come round to hers. I know how to drive and have taken the car out by myself a few times. I cant stop crying tho. I cant cope. Ive been so strong throughout the whole thing but Im just so broken now.
    just go somewhere with your mates and forget about the whole thing........being around friends often makes you feel better!
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    I have just spoken to a friend and she says Im welcome to come round to hers. I know how to drive and have taken the car out by myself a few times. I cant stop crying tho. I cant cope. Ive been so strong throughout the whole thing but Im just so broken now.
    Well if you're sure about the driving...probably not very sensible but if that what you think you should do. Maybe someone could come and get you instead?

    You're right on doing something like this. In these kinds of situations, both of your parents expect you to take on sides and that's how you get dragged into all this. The whole problem is that you don't have to take sides. There are civilized and less selfish ways of sorting out a divorce. Your parents have gone too far. You should make them understand this and if it helps you feel better, all the better.
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    have you tried therapy for your violence?
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    I'd go stay with a friend and then make sure you let someone at school what's been going on. It's not at all fair on you...

    If things have been affecting your exams, i think there are special leaniencies which the exam markers can be told to make..maybe let someone at school know things have been tough. Im not sure of the exact procedure.

    I have a few friends who have been through times like these- and it's not easy.
    Just keep yourself strong and try to deal with the stress of your dad until youve done your exams. I know its hard, and I couldn;t imagine going through such strain and stress.
    Hugs
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    (Original post by Saf!)
    he left you on your own??
    yeah he did when i was 9, but this isnt my thread and i'd rather not remmeber.
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    bad stuff always happens the night before exams! dont know why parents decide that the night before your physics gcse is a good time to tell you youre adopted, or that grannys gone nuts... but they will always do it. most inconsiderate when they could just wait a week.
    get out the house (book a taxi, dont drive)
    have a COUPLE of drinks (not enough to make you more emotional) with a friend and just try and wind down. forget anbout your parents, theyll grow up one day. for now, just dont let it get in your way. itll be there for you to worry about when your exams are done, pretend you know nothing and try nad have a relaxing night.
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    Just to let people know whats happening. I took the car in the end and stayed with a mate. Got all the clothes I think I'll need for the next month in the back. Didnt do any work last night and slept really badly. Just about got through exam and have come home now as I knew both parents would be at work.

    Dad is so unreasonable and selfish. There is no point talking to the man or trying to reason with him. He picks fights constantly as its the only way he can think of to interact with us. The guy has lost the plot completely and I honestly dont believe I will have anything to do with him once I move out.

    Think I might go and stay with the bf for a while, who, although he doesnt really know what to say or how to support me (which suprises me after a year of going out with him) is trying his best and is trying to be supportive. But dont know...its a 2 hour drive.

    Hpe I get to read your opinions some time soon.

    Take care UKL
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    Just to let people know whats happening. I took the car in the end and stayed with a mate. Got all the clothes I think I'll need for the next month in the back. Didnt do any work last night and slept really badly. Just about got through exam and have come home now as I knew both parents would be at work.

    Dad is so unreasonable and selfish. There is no point talking to the man or trying to reason with him. He picks fights constantly as its the only way he can think of to interact with us. The guy has lost the plot completely and I honestly dont believe I will have anything to do with him once I move out.

    Think I might go and stay with the bf for a while, who, although he doesnt really know what to say or how to support me (which suprises me after a year of going out with him) is trying his best and is trying to be supportive. But dont know...its a 2 hour drive.

    Hpe I get to read your opinions some time soon.

    Take care UKL
    x
    Don't take the car for a two hour drive when you haven't passed your test. Things will be a lot worse if you get caught, have an accident or just burst a tyre and need help. You're in an emotional state too, and I know I wouldn't fancy driving like that.

    Now that you've got some extra time on your hands to think things through, see if you can get a coach or a train somewhere. Or stay with your friend. But you must tell your parents where you are, if you haven't already. They will be worried about you, and getting more stressed than they already are. No matter what you think of them, they still love you. If you're sensible about this, it might force them to think of how the situation is affecting you.

    Be careful, and don't do anything too hasty. It sounds like your boyfriend isn't the best person to be with at the moment, and it's best to stay close to home and keep in contact with your parents.
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    Have you got a driving licence? Are you insured on the car? If not, don't keep driving everywhere. I know you're probably a good driver but you've got a lot on your mind at the mo and there are plenty of really terrible drivers on the roads who could involve you in an incident (touch wood that they don't), which could end up being far worse than catching a bus or shelling out for a taxi.

    Do the school/exam boards know that your home life is very disrupted at the moment? Let them know.

    Try not to put too much pressure on the bf. He might say things that you don't want to hear or things that don't help in the slightest but always keep in mind that he loves you and is trying to do the best thing by you.

    It might help to write down what you're feeling just to let some of it out. Maybe you could take a step back from it all and write a note/letter to your parents so they can see how, and how much this is affecting you and your brothers. You'd have to be careful with your wording though. I don't think it would help if you just wrote down that you hate your dad and hate what's happening. You'd need to be more constructive and just explain what's going on in your head. You don't have to give your parents the letter, but it might help to clarify things in your head a bit.

    All the anger and hate is only temporary (even though it may feel like it will never end). I hope things get better for you soon.
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    I stayed at home last night as Dad wasnt home when I went to bed so didnt think he;d be back. Hes trashed the house again. He;s also put every single tea cup, vase and posh piece of china on the floor in the hallway downstairs. I dont overly understand it. Think we may have people coming to carpet the house today so that may have something to do with it.

    Just want to say thank you to everyone who has been really lovely and sweet and supportive. It makes me feel better to know that there are decent people out there. Sometimes Ive felt that everyone one has a side like dads and people that have posted on this board are making me think otherwise. Thank you guys.

    B x
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    (Original post by BonnieLass)
    I stayed at home last night as Dad wasnt home when I went to bed so didnt think he;d be back. Hes trashed the house again. He;s also put every single tea cup, vase and posh piece of china on the floor in the hallway downstairs. I dont overly understand it. Think we may have people coming to carpet the house today so that may have something to do with it.

    Just want to say thank you to everyone who has been really lovely and sweet and supportive. It makes me feel better to know that there are decent people out there. Sometimes Ive felt that everyone one has a side like dads and people that have posted on this board are making me think otherwise. Thank you guys.

    B x
    I'm glad you're feeling a bit better. Keep your chin up chuck!
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    Things will be better when your dad moves out and you just live with your mum. Don't get involved that badly, it's stupid, i never did that.
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    good luck.. i hope you get through this, and dont let it shape the rest of your life. you sound like a strong person..your parents have been selfish - go prove to yourself what a wonderful person you are.. hollyx
 
 
 
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