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Manager not taking sexual harassment seriously because I'm a guy! watch

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    As part of my bronze DofE award I'm doing a 6 month volunteering scheme at a local charity shop. I was in charge of cleaning and generally making the store look nice but now I've been moved to the back where I sort out the donated items.
    There's another woman there who does the same job, and she's really weird. Let's call her Jenny. At first she was just nice and chatty, but then she started making really inappropriate comments. The first time was when I wore skinny jeans (admittedly, very skinny) and she looked at me for ages, then laughed and said 'with the size of that bulge you won't have trouble with the ladies'. I can't even tell you how uncomfortable that made me feel.
    I let it slide, just thinking she was being inappropriate without realising, but she made multiple comments like that, always saying how I'm handsome and blowing me kisses (ok, it sounds like I'm bragging, but trust me, it was creepy not flattering). So I told my manager, who said she'd look into it. The next time I went to work my manager said that it was ok, Jenny had just been joking but she was going to stop now. Which she did...for about a week.
    Then she started up again with really blatant comments, asking me if I was a virgin, asking me if I went for 'cougars'...then the other day she said something REALLY inappropriate while touching my thigh, I won't say what but I completely freaked out and ran out of the room and straight up to my manager and told her what happened. She told me to lighten up, she alrready established Jenny was just joking around, and I said 'this isn't a joke, it's sexual harassment'. And you know what she said? 'Only women can be sexually harassed.' WTF?!
    Spoiler:
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    And to make it worse, just a couple of months ago a customer made sexual remarks to another girl who worked there, and that customer was asked to leave and has been banned from the store. So it's not like the manager doesn't know the seriousness of it all or doesn't know how to deal with harassment.
    I was literally IN TEARS at this point, never mind the fact that Jenny is in her 30s and I'm only FIFTEEN, so how is this a 'joke' and not harassment? My manager said Jenny's been volunteering for years, she's a 'part of the team', not a bad person.

    Here's the thing - I would just leave and forget all about it, but it's part of my DofE and it's too late to start volunteering at another place (my manager said she wouldn't sign my book if I left over this so it's not like I can just pick up the extra 2 months at another place). I said I'd go to the police about it (admittedly that was a bluff), but my manager said that it would be my word (a child's) against Jenny's (a 'well established member of the community) and she'd fire me if I told anyone. I'm leaving school this year and I've already paid for my DofE expedition and equipment, and if you're not a student at the school you can't do an expedition so it's not like I could just do it next year. I know it seems like a lot of fuss over DofE but I really want this on my CV as I'm not going to uni. What in God's name do I do?!
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    idk about you but if she was fit , i'd bang her no problemo

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    UR 15 :l Naw man you need to go see the police if she doesn't stop
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    Is there someone at school you can talk to? Can you go higher than the manager and complain? If this was me, I'd secretly record what Jenny says, if you can. You can record on most phones now anyway.
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    She can't fire you for going to the police, that's not a valid ground. It's harder for you though because you're simply volunteering you're not an employee on the payroll so it would be easier for her to get rid of you as you can't really involve an employment tribunal.

    Have you told your parents?

    You have 2 months left, so just stick it out I think unless you feel really uncomfortable. Maybe try and gross her out, don't wear jeans wear loose fitted clothing and just try and keep away from her. It appears to be bothering you a lot though so you should definitely tell your parents right now anyway. Also is this a big charity, maybe formally complain to their head office in writing, you should send an email quoting what your manager said and what 'Jenny' did.
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    I got sexually harassed as well in a club

    2 girls grabbed my butttocks on the dance floor and i felt violated


    felt disgusted and didnt club again
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    Tell Jenny that you have a girlfriend and that you don't find older ladies attractive at all, especially her. Make the point very bluntly and leave her with no doubt that she's never going to get anywhere pursuing it.
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    (Original post by IanDangerously)
    Tell Jenny that you have a girlfriend and that you don't find older ladies attractive at all, especially her. Make the point very bluntly and leave her with no doubt that she's never going to get anywhere pursuing it.
    Or just punch her in the face when she least expects it, as hard as you can.
    That would make for quite the shop floor banter..
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    go to the police or talk to someone higher up, if this happened to a woman you could expect serious consequences, you need to speak up about this, this is harassment
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    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    Or just punch her in the face when she least expects it, as hard as you can.
    That would make for quite the shop floor banter..
    Ouch! Mind you, I suppose a workplace that doesn't frown on sexual assault should also be cool with man on woman violence so why not?!
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    (Original post by IanDangerously)
    Ouch! Mind you, I suppose a workplace that doesn't frown on sexual assault should also be cool with man on woman violence so why not?!
    Precisely so, if sexual harassment is known as "a bit of fun" surely assault is too?
    Also, OP needs to video the whole thing, and upload it somewhere.
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    if this was me, id honestly just act gross as f**k.
    pick ur nose, burp loud, hell even dribble, like REALLY dribble

    just act gross as **** and you should be ok haha
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    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    Or just punch her in the face when she least expects it, as hard as you can.
    That would make for quite the shop floor banter..
    i genuinly laughed so hard at this comment!
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    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    Precisely so, if sexual harassment is known as "a bit of fun" surely assault is too?
    Also, OP needs to video the whole thing, and upload it somewhere.
    Right hook and an uppercut, when the manager sees it just say,

    It's all bantz innit

    On a serious note, Op should definitely report it to the police if not, at the very least their school. Complaining on TSR won't do any good. Although maybe TSR should open a special task force, send out units to people who need help.
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    if this was me, id honestly just act gross as f**k.
    pick ur nose, burp loud, hell even dribble, like REALLY dribble

    just act gross as **** and you should be ok haha
    maybe EVEN make yourself chunder after she says these things, and act like it was your response to them.
    **** my humour is weird.
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    How old are you and how old is she?
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    (Original post by Optimum_)
    Right hook and an uppercut, when the manager sees it just say,

    It's all bantz innit

    On a serious note, Op should definitely report it to the police if not, at the very least their school. Complaining on TSR won't do any good. Although maybe TSR should open a special task force, send out units to people who need help.
    EXACTLY, then just tell the shop owner that she's not unconscious, she's just taking a kip, it's all fine.
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    (Original post by shawtyb)
    if this was me, id honestly just act gross as f**k.
    pick ur nose, burp loud, hell even dribble, like REALLY dribble

    just act gross as **** and you should be ok haha
    That is the most disgusting and wonderful idea I've read so far.
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    Tell her to **** off before she ****ing regrets it.
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    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    maybe EVEN make yourself chunder after she says these things, and act like it was your response to them.
    **** my humour is weird.
    omg yes! and aim for her shoes in particular!
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    (Original post by fr0sr_)
    EXACTLY, then just tell the shop owner that she's not unconscious, she's just taking a kip, it's all fine.
    If the manager can fall for the 'its only a joke' when it comes to sexual harassment, a bruised face + unconscious should mean sleeping in the managers books.

    Sorted.
 
 
 
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