Feeling sad, alone and blue

I am feeling alone and blue.

I have very few friends, i had problems at sixth form (i moved at the end of year 11 since my school didn't have a high school) and didn't manage to make any friends there.

Outside of school, i have very few friends too. One that was my best friend, has gone all awkward (generally, not just with me) and reserved and angry at the world. I've tried to help her, it just seems to take us further apart. Can i just note she doesn't even live in this country anymore and hasn't been for a few years. I have another friend who does not live in this country either, but is here for a year doing masters. Since coming here, she too has drastically changed (gotten all serious and doesn't seem to want to laugh anymore). She is understandably more interested in her uni friends, since she is paying a lot for this experience. I don't see her very often, maybe once a couple of months, and when i do she's always too tired to talk and just goes to sleep.

I have a very good relationship with my mother, and she seems to be my only friend at the moment. but all the while, it's not exactly the same is it ?

Aside from all this, i have an amazing boyfriend who i love very much and have been with him for 8 years. He is the reason why i rarely kick up a fuss about a very little social life. However, it is a long distance relationship and i only see him twice a year (in the summer and winter holidays). I talk to him almost everyday, but of cours sometimes he has to travel away from home and therefore the internet to meet other family members for a while. He has exams for which reason he can't always be online. In these short amounts of time that i don't talk to him , i find i start feeling sorry for myself and feel really lonely.

I am on a gap year so at the moment i can't really make many friends. I'm looking for a job and can't really find one.

I wouldn't mind if no one responded to this post, but i'm blue and it makes one feel good to let it out in a place where people will read.

Reply 1

herecomestrouble

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

thanks herecomestrouble :smile:

Reply 3

generalebriety

You said it yourself. Gap years aren't things you go on expecting to make tons of friends (especially if you're not working during it). University will be better, and you'll make better friends - whether that be because these ones have time for you, or are generally nicer people, or are just geographically closer to you. Don't worry about it. Make use of the time you have left - go and look for a summer job before you go to university. And even though you may not be enjoying your freedom, realise that it won't be this way forever - you're in a bad position being on a gap year with nothing to do, all your old friends will be at uni and you won't be making new friends, but next year that'll change. :smile:

Reply 4

Artemidoros.

Things will get better

Reply 5

AllergicToFairydust

I know how you feel.

In 2 days time, I will turn 20 and yet I will not be having a party, going out or anything. I will probably get a take away from my favourite place though. I will probably get 2-4 cards (depending on post) and these will be from my family.

The reason is that in my uni town, I have no real friends. I mean there are people I get along with but nobody who I go out with, have fun etc. The main reason for this is that I broke up with my boyfriend (long distance relationship) and most of my other uni friends were people I met through him and now they won't talk to me.

A few (non boyfriend related friends) have moved away to pursude other interests and a couple of my friends live back home but I won't be going home anytime soon and I have mostly lost touch with them.

On the other hand, I am happy that at 19 going on 20, I am at university (although that's pretty much screwed at the moment) and I am self-supporting myself through work and not relying on any money from family, who I have problems with. I escaped a house which I hated living in and moved 6 hours away to start afresh. I have interests which occupy my time, like building and improving my computer, writing short stories and music etc so while sometimes I feel alone, I am keeping busy.

I get the odd day where I could sit down, crying my eyes out and give up on the world. But things will improve for me in time as I am sure they will do for you. Your not alone and things will improve.

Enjoy your gap year and think of uni as a chance to start afresh, join a few societies and your social life with improving.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

thanks for the posts guys :smile:

and a_musical_gal i'm sure things will look up for the both of us soon! i also am finding things to fill my time. I hope things work out for you real soon :smile: