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    So me and my bf have been dating for four years. First two were perfect then last year he went on a year abroad. Obviously the time difference made it difficult but we had very different expectations of what was a reasonable amount of time to be talking and it definitely put a strain because I felt like he wasn't as interested as I am.

    Now we've been back in the same place since the start of the academic year but we've really been arguing a lot and over the same things. One of the main things we argue about is that he doesn't want to have sex anymore and I don't know why. I've not tried to force him or anything but he can see I get annoyed when I'm asking all the time and he's saying no. To make things more confusing he says he still wants to but then we never do.

    Another problem is that he's not telling me important things and says it doesn't matter. For instance, he got a job offer and just didn't tell me. When he eventually told me I was really pleased for him and then I spoke to him afterwards about how it had upset me that he hadn't told me straight away he told me it was nothing to do with me. I think it should be, especially since it could mean doing long distance again.

    So what do you think? I'm really starting to feel like he wants to break up with me but just isn't brave enough to do it. How can I let him know that I can't do this anymore unless he changes without it being manipulative?
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    Seems like he's losing interest
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    Yeah. I think too. When he had that job offer you should be the first person he will tell. Why not try telling him how you feel?
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    sounds like he is losing interest tbh but being brave enough to end a four year relationship can be hard. id sit down and talk to him because thatll either get him to open up and tell you he wants to end it, or it'll be something else bothering him. either way its not fair to take his confusion out on you and make you feel like you do. just talk to him
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    Sounds like it's already over.

    No sexual intimacy.
    No emotional intimacy.

    Hell he's not even a friend if he's not going to tell you anything is he?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    So me and my bf have been dating for four years. First two were perfect then last year he went on a year abroad. Obviously the time difference made it difficult but we had very different expectations of what was a reasonable amount of time to be talking and it definitely put a strain because I felt like he wasn't as interested as I am.

    Now we've been back in the same place since the start of the academic year but we've really been arguing a lot and over the same things. One of the main things we argue about is that he doesn't want to have sex anymore and I don't know why. I've not tried to force him or anything but he can see I get annoyed when I'm asking all the time and he's saying no. To make things more confusing he says he still wants to but then we never do.

    Another problem is that he's not telling me important things and says it doesn't matter. For instance, he got a job offer and just didn't tell me. When he eventually told me I was really pleased for him and then I spoke to him afterwards about how it had upset me that he hadn't told me straight away he told me it was nothing to do with me. I think it should be, especially since it could mean doing long distance again.

    So what do you think? I'm really starting to feel like he wants to break up with me but just isn't brave enough to do it. How can I let him know that I can't do this anymore unless he changes without it being manipulative?
    Looks to me as it is all over
    • TSR Support Team
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    At the very least you need to confront him because he is not being very fair.
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    Seems like you've reached the end of your journey, you should probably just end it yourself. Sorry :/


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