Living Life On The Edge: On The Brink Of Life
Hey all and welcome to an official post by Freezer.
I've not spoken in a while and it must be said: "you are the greatest followers anyone could wish for! Knowing you all read my blog and leave a comment at the end, it truely makes his worthwhile"
Now this won't be a regular occurrence, just a post which I felt needed to come out.So here goes.
Depression is eating my insides:
As you probably know, I have been diagnosed with depression and it is making my life a misery (unsurprisingly). I have regular down spells and again you've probably seen me when I do have them. It's not fun for me and I'm sure it isn't for you lot either. I'm really sorry about how I act during those times.
I lose control of my mind and end up posting stuff without reality setting in. I only know what I've written the morning after when I wake up and see what I wrote. I'm always shocked by the stuff I see myself write. It's horrible to experience that part of it too.
Now I honestly really appreciate everything everyone does for me here. It means the world to me but I'm not entirely sure it does anything to help me.I don't think I'll ever be convinced I'm a good person. I don't see a good side of me and I doubt I ever will! Even when I'm happy I fail to see it.
But onto what is necessary here.
I'm not 100% sure of a definition for depression. I've not been diagnosed for very long so I'm not entirely familiar with it like I am with OCD. But what I do know is that it like to make you feel down and dejected as much as it possible can. You feel useless and wish that you were dead so you dot. Have to bring any more misery to people.Now that is 100% what i personally experience.
Although I wouldn't mind other's sharing there experiences just so we can all gain a better knowledge of this horrible illness (including myself).
Treatment for depression is unknown to me, so I can't comment there.
But yeah I think this post really is an apology to everyone.I just wanted to apologize for my awful behaviour over the last month or two. I don't mean to bring anyone down or to make anyone feel bad. I feel I do that quite a lot though. It's not intentional at all and I wish it wouldn't happen anymore! But it's going to occur still and I'm not sure what there is to do about it :/
Anyways I apologize for being a jerk during the down times, as I say it's unintentional and I don't mean to offend anyone.
I hope y'all understand
Anyways, that's all from me. As always, any questions I'll do my best to answer!
Bye for now!