The Student Room Group

My last day in Warsaw.

:king1: Winner of the TSR Short Story Competition! :king1:

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I was on a path taken by many, though I wouldn’t be the last. My tracks would soon be erased by the next person. With an arm under each of my shoulders, I was being dragged along by two guards that I had no strength left to oppose.

The wind and snow hit the gashes sprawled across my body. The agony of the presence of what once comforted me was unbearable.

My saving grace was the frostbite that had long gotten to my limbs. All that was felt was a dull throbbing that could even be described as pleasurable, compared to everything else.

My body had served me well; I had used everything it could give me to fight for their freedom. To make sure they would live to see a better world.

Shira. Noa.

The mere thought of them soothed my pain. My only regret was that their last memory of me wasn’t one of jubilation and bliss.

I remembered their faces the moment they realised that I couldn’t come with them. I always said they were too smart for their age.

Refusing to leave their father, their realisation almost jeopardised their escape. But then again, I guess that’s on you isn't it? You always pushed them further.

They didn’t want to lose me like we lost their mother. But in the end, all I could do was kiss them and run away to divert the SS.

Sorrow crept onto me as tears of guilt began to form. If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive. The tears meandered down my face before falling to the ground, joining countless others.

Sarah.

I was thrown into a line of men against a wall, with a firing squad aiming their rifles at us.

“Kneel and face the wall” barked one from behind me.

I hit the pavement, my face scraping against the rocks and shards of broken glass. Then I raised my torso off the ground.

But at least they won’t pay for my mistake.

I knelt, facing the wall.

They’re safe now.

The wind whirled around me, I lowered my head.

I’ve done my job.

The sounds died down as I closed my eyes one final time. There I knelt, awaiting my reunion with Sarah.

~

“Rise”

Turning my head to the origin of the voice, I opened my eyes and saw an old man standing tall, refusing to bow down. In him, I saw a pride that I had lost.

Around me, I witnessed each prisoner refusing to lie down and die. The carnage may have surrounded them but they didn’t cower in the face of inhumanity. Instead of fear in their eyes; I saw a dignity that I had forgotten.

I remembered my worth and vowed to never close my eyes again.

So I rose up and also stood tall, with my people, and stared down the barrels pointed at us.

One last act of defiance.

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I included the ' ~ ' used in my word count, which I'm happy to say is 500. :smile:
(edited 7 years ago)

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Original post by Axel Johann
I was on a path taken by many, though I wouldn’t be the last. My tracks would soon be erased by the next person. With an arm under each of my shoulders, I was being dragged along by two guards that I had no strength left to oppose.

The wind and snow hit the gashes sprawled across my body. The agony of the presence of what once comforted me was unbearable.

My saving grace was the frostbite that had long gotten to my limbs. All that was felt a dull throbbing that could even be described as pleasurable, compared to everything else.

My body had served me well; I had used everything it could give me to fight for their freedom. To make sure that they would live to see a better world.

Shira. Noa.

The mere thought of them soothed my pain. My only regret was that their last memory of me wasn’t one of jubilation and bliss.

I remembered their faces the moment they realised that I couldn’t come with them. I always said they were too smart for their age.

Refusing to leave their father, their realisation almost jeopardised their escape. But then again, I guess that’s on you isn't it? You always pushed them further.

They didn’t want to lose me like we lost their mother. But in the end, I could do was kiss them and run away to divert the SS.

Sorrow crept onto me as tears of guilt began to form. If only I had listened to you, the kids would be at school, me... in an office, and you... alive. The tears meandered down my face before falling to the ground, joining countless others.

Sarah.

I was thrown into a line of men against a wall, with a firing squad aiming their rifles at us.

“Kneel and face the wall” barked one of them behind me.

I hit the pavement, my face scraping against the rocks and shards of broken glass. Then I raised my torso off the ground.

But at least they won’t pay for my mistake.

I knelt, facing the wall.

They’re safe now.

The wind whirled around me, I lowered my head.

I’ve done my job.

The sounds died down as I closed my eyes one final time. There I knelt, awaiting my reunion with Sarah.

~

“Rise”

Turning my head to the origin of the voice, I opened my eyes and saw an old man standing tall, refusing to bow down. In him, I saw a pride that I had lost.

Around me, I witnessed each prisoner refusing to lie down and die. The carnage may have surrounded them but they didn’t cower in the face of inhumanity. Instead of fear in their eyes; I saw a dignity that I had forgotten.

I remembered my worth and vowed not to close my eyes again.

So I rose up and also stood tall, with my people, and stared down the barrels pointed at us.

One last act of defiance.

=================================
My submission for the Short Story Competition:
http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/showthread.php?t=3991411

I included the ' ~ ' used in my word count, which I'm happy to say is 500. :smile:


Great story!!!
Original post by Edminzodo
Great story!!!


Thanks :smile:
Loved the final line

"One last act of defiance"

That was really enjoyable to read, nicely done (:
This is literally so good!

I can't believe this was only 500 words to be honest. I'm actually so glad I tagged you in- you were the first person I thought of when I saw the competition thing.

You have an amazing way with words, I'm so surprised you're doing science sometimes :lolwut:

Also reading this made me momentarily escape from life, and that's the true sign of talent.

If you have any more of that story you sent me please send it over, I love the way you write. :love:
Reply 5
nniiiiicccceeeeeeeeeeee

you're v talented and thank you for tagging me, it's great! :hugs:
Original post by ZiggyStarDust_
Loved the final line

"One last act of defiance"

That was really enjoyable to read, nicely done (:

Thank you!!! :hugs:

Tag me when you post yours please :smile:

Original post by Milzime
nniiiiicccceeeeeeeeeeee

you're v talented and thank you for tagging me, it's great! :hugs:

:jumphug: Thank you so much Milz!! :biggrin:
Original post by Rhink
Awesome story, clearly well thought out and beautifully written. "Rise" = chills. You managed to convey such strong emotions, heartbreaking events and quite a lot of context in a mere 500 words! Very well done :smile: looking forward to read more from you :h:

:woo:
Thank you :biggrin:

Yeah I had to do a lot of redrafting :laugh:, the first draft was terrible. Word count was hard too tbh, I'm at 513 words, I cut it down only to realise there's a repeated sentence at the end bit and reverse all the cutting down. :facepalm:

Original post by Ethereal World
This is literally so good!

I can't believe this was only 500 words to be honest. I'm actually so glad I tagged you in- you were the first person I thought of when I saw the competition thing.

You have an amazing way with words, I'm so surprised you're doing science sometimes :lolwut:

Also reading this made me momentarily escape from life, and that's the true sign of talent.

If you have any more of that story you sent me please send it over, I love the way you write. :love:

Emma! :jumphug:
Thanks!!! :biggrin:

It was hard to fit it into 500 words to be honest :smile: But managed to squeeze the essentials though. Thank you so much for that again! So happy that you did! :h:

Awhhh thanks you :hugs:, SEMI-COLONS ARE BAEEEE

:woo: :dancing:

It was a story concept I had been thinking about for quite some time, but with everything in my life I don't think I'll be able to come back to this for quite some time.
Reply 8
gg bro :lol:
Damn... but this was dramatic af...
I don't like these types of stories... but I still got captivated
I still want the action (and comedy :colonhash:)
I loved that story! Seriously, you are amazing at writing. If you write anymore stuff like this, be sure to tag me!
Original post by TheOtherSide.
I loved that story! Seriously, you are amazing at writing. If you write anymore stuff like this, be sure to tag me!


:hugs: Thanks :colondollar:

Which part in particular did you like?

--

And also, this may sound a bit cheap, but could you tag anyone you think would enjoy the story? They won't be reading all the submissions, only the ones that get the most views :eek:. So more views would greatly help me, only if you think I deserve it of course.

Tagging everyone else that posted on here to read the above ^^
Original post by Axel Johann
:hugs: Thanks :colondollar:

Which part in particular did you like?

--

And also, this may sound a bit cheap, but could you tag anyone you think would enjoy the story? They won't be reading all the submissions, only the ones that get the most views :eek:. So more views would greatly help me, only if you think I deserve it of course.

Tagging everyone else that posted on here to read the above ^^


How am I supposed to like just one part of the story? :lol:

I dunno, I just liked the whole story and everything, and just how nice your writing style is.

That's fine! Except, I have no idea who to tag.. :colondollar:

Spoiler

Oh my god this is amazing and thanks for the tag! @TheOtherSide
Original post by Rhythmical
Oh my god this is amazing and thanks for the tag! @TheOtherSide


No problem! It's reallly good, right?
Original post by Rhythmical
Oh my god this is amazing and thanks for the tag! @TheOtherSide


Thank youuu :awesome:
Reply 15
Original post by Axel Johann

My body had served me well; I had used everything it could give me to fight for their freedom. To make sure they would live to see a better world.

Shira. Noa.

The mere thought of them soothed my pain. My only regret was that their last memory of me wasn’t one of jubilation and bliss.

I remembered their faces the moment they realised that I couldn’t come with them. I always said they were too smart for their age.

Refusing to leave their father, their realisation almost jeopardised their escape. But then again, I guess that’s on you isn't it? You always pushed them further.

They didn’t want to lose me like we lost their mother. But in the end, all I could do was kiss them and run away to divert the SS.


omfg axel i forgot to read it wtf??? so sorry man

but omfg i just read this its actualyl sick though on a level like THE PART I QUOTED MADE ME SHIVER LIKE YO WTF AXEL THIS IS SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

you're such a talented writer omggg

Spoiler


thx for the tag @TheOtherSide.
Original post by zanner
omfg axel i forgot to read it wtf??? so sorry man

but omfg i just read this its actualyl sick though on a level like THE PART I QUOTED MADE ME SHIVER LIKE YO WTF AXEL THIS IS SICKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

you're such a talented writer omggg

Spoiler

thx for the tag @TheOtherSide.

Haha no probz, you're here now!! :woohoo:

Ayyyyyyeeeeeeeee :five:, safe G. #weeaboosongsFTW :rofl:

Spoiler

Reply 17
Original post by Axel Johann
Haha no probz, you're here now!! :woohoo:

Ayyyyyyeeeeeeeee :five:, safe G. #weeaboosongsFTW :rofl:

Spoiler



legit man this story is actually sickkkk the lines i told u about were superbb- who am i kidding all of it was a nice read :biggrin:

dwwwwww g #weebsforlife

Spoiler

yoooo this is so good omg!!

the idea of this story is so cute and the way you write is amazing, it makes it really emotional without having to actually say much AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE ENDING DRAMATIC AF it makes me happy :biggrin:

thank youu for the tag @TheOtherSide. :tongue:
Original post by defenestrated
yoooo this is so good omg!!

the idea of this story is so cute and the way you write is amazing, it makes it really emotional without having to actually say much AND I ESPECIALLY LOVE THE ENDING DRAMATIC AF it makes me happy :biggrin:

thank youu for the tag @TheOtherSide. :tongue:


I was actually able to rep you! :dance:

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