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Am I too needy or he just doesn't care? Watch

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    I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years, we live together and all. But for the past year everything is just crumbling...

    Sometimes, I have these terrible mood swings (graduation, stress, being a woman), when I feel depressed and generally I feel really bad about myself. When I try to share my feelings with him, he gets annoyed at me, usually responding with an annoyed 'sigh' or 'deal with it'. He doesn't generally share much with me, but when he does I would always do my best to make him feel better. When I feel down, he says I'm needy, petty and just fishing for compliments. Which really hurts me in a way, because I feel so vulnerable and he just brings me down. And it's like a vicious circle, because his attitude makes me feel even worse about myself.

    I know it's difficult for you to judge without actually being there, but what do you think? Can I be too needy or he just doesn't care?
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    You really don't sound happy. And it sounds as though he doesn't really care.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    You really don't sound happy. And it sounds as though he doesn't really care.
    That's true. I'm not very happy. But a part of me actually believes that I'm asking for it and I am the one to blame for my unhappiness.
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    (Original post by kasiox)
    I've been with my boyfriend for nearly 5 years, we live together and all. But for the past year everything is just crumbling...

    Sometimes, I have these terrible mood swings (graduation, stress, being a woman), when I feel depressed and generally I feel really bad about myself. When I try to share my feelings with him, he gets annoyed at me, usually responding with an annoyed 'sigh' or 'deal with it'. He doesn't generally share much with me, but when he does I would always do my best to make him feel better. When I feel down, he says I'm needy, petty and just fishing for compliments. Which really hurts me in a way, because I feel so vulnerable and he just brings me down. And it's like a vicious circle, because his attitude makes me feel even worse about myself.

    I know it's difficult for you to judge without actually being there, but what do you think? Can I be too needy or he just doesn't care?
    I think you should have a serious talk with him, ask him to put time aside. If hes still being as uncaring I'd consider if its worth it any more... Maybe the relationship has just faded. But at least confront him with these issues before you make a decision... good luck!
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    Over a month or two ago, my 6 year LDR ended.. It was horrible, we are still sorta friends and haven't gotten over each other. The main point I wanted to bring across though, was that there were certain similarities in what we were going through as compared to your situation, but also that the longer it drags on the more difficult it would be to move on if things go south. :/ Know what you want and need, and do an honest evaluation of your current relationship. Have you exhausted all ways in trying to handle this issue? Is he willing to work with you to make it better? Can you handle this for another year? Good luck OP, I wish you the very best and hope you can find something that works for you. <3
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    Hard to judge, it sounds pretty insensitive tbh, but maybe he has his own stresses and finds it difficult to help. Perhaps the relationship has just run its course and it's time to move on. I think you should try and have a frank talk about how you are both feeling. Good luck.
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    Don't burden him, we all have our issues.

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    You are definitely not the person at fault here. Trust me I have been in this kind of relationship and it only gets worse. I always felt that I needed to convince them of my problems and that I needed their approval that they are genuine issues. But the truth is that only you can know if you're happy or not and what is a problem to you IS a legitimate problem. My advice would be to forget him. In my experience in a similar relationship my insecurities only got worse. Once I'd broken up with him he realised his mistakes and apologised and begged to have me back but after meeting someone else who was kind and compassionate I realised that he was so at fault and I deserve much better and you do too. If he wants to stay in that relationship he would/should work on it.
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    He is sounding rather insensitive. It might be that there is something troubling him right now that he hasn't told you about, but that wouldn't really make the situation any better because he should communicate with you. You've been in a relationship for a long time, I assume he's been more supportive in the past? In general you should just talk to him and let him know what is bothering you. If talking doesn't make anything better or he dismisses you then as difficult as that will be, you might want to reconsider things.
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    Thank you all for the replies.

    We've tried talking about this many times before, but he doesn't seem like he's interested in any emotional exchange. I brought this up yesterday as well, and of course he concluded that I just want compliments and attention, which left me crying all day. Today, he's acting like none of this ever happened just hoping all this will disappear on its own... I know I can't continue this relationship like this but it's so difficult and we already booked some holiday together next month, which doesn't help. But a part of me wishes I could go alone.
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    (Original post by kasiox)
    Thank you all for the replies.

    We've tried talking about this many times before, but he doesn't seem like he's interested in any emotional exchange. I brought this up yesterday as well, and of course he concluded that I just want compliments and attention, which left me crying all day. Today, he's acting like none of this ever happened just hoping all this will disappear on its own... I know I can't continue this relationship like this but it's so difficult and we already booked some holiday together next month, which doesn't help. But a part of me wishes I could go alone.
    If a break up is what you are thinking of right now, why not give it one "last" try? Take the next month leading up to the trip openly, create memories, then decide. Human emotions are tricky
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    Lots of good advice here.
    Imo he does not care
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    He doesn't care. Sounds like the end of the relationship to me if I'm honest
 
 
 
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