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    For the past 18 months, since i arrived in uk, I haven't been able to make Real friends. I mean i do have acquaintances to hang around for footy or films, but that's it. Initally, though i speak english fluently i couldn't grasp much in conversations due to their accent and also humor, although now i do. For these reasons, I don't get along with most people in my year.

    Ive been invited to birthday parties, before but because of my religion cant really go, thus limiting options to make social connections. I mean right now i havent got the time to get into a sport or activity(due to exams). I really dont know where to start from to get to know people, and not come of as been weird or creepy.
    Im very unhappy how my life turned out because i feel like ive become so boring, with nothing much to bring in conversations.

    How do i get out of this situation? where could i start off to make Real friends outside?I feel like i don't have control over my life...
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    What religion are you part of that doesn't let you go to birthday parties? That's cos of your parents, not religion.

    You don't need friends - focus on yourself first. Go to the gym, keep playing football, study hard and make a better life for yourself. Work on your self-confidence and people will come to you once you're comfortable studying/working somewhere. Talk to people in school or work and go to more extra-curricular things - it doesn't have to be a sport. 1 hour after school every week is not much time away from revision.
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    I know just how you feel. I came to this country towards the end of secondary school and it wasn't fun at all. Being a fluent English speaker wasn't enough when it came to making conversation, as everyone wanted to talk about shows like Hollyoaks and Eastenders I'd never heard of, people I didn't know and music I didn't listen to. It takes a while to pick up the humour and the mentality of the people here. People will also judge somebody who appears to be a 'freshie' even if they aren't, I came from a really good private school back in my home country where the standard of living was quite high. A few kind people were friendly towards me and though that made a huge difference, it wasn't really enough.

    Stay strong, don't get too self-concious because of the differences, speak out even if you think you'd sound stupid in conversation, and, I know this sounds questionable, but move yourself to a school or area where more people share your cultural background as trying to integrate with people who don't takes too long and can be a lonely and draining experience.
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    (Original post by cosmic angel)
    I know just how you feel. I came to this country towards the end of secondary school and it wasn't fun at all. Being a fluent English speaker wasn't enough when it came to making conversation, as everyone wanted to talk about shows like Hollyoaks and Eastenders I'd never heard of, people I didn't know and music I didn't listen to. It takes a while to pick up the humour and the mentality of the people here. People will also judge somebody who appears to be a 'freshie' even if they aren't, I came from a really good private school back in my home country where the standard of living was quite high. A few kind people were friendly towards me and though that made a huge difference, it wasn't really enough.

    Stay strong, don't get too self-concious because of the differences, speak out even if you think you'd sound stupid in conversation, and, I know this sounds questionable, but move yourself to a school or area where more people share your cultural background as trying to integrate with people who don't takes too long and can be a lonely and draining experience.
    You basically had the same experience as me! I dont think i could move now, but even though I'll try an get done with work and see if my situation improves. And did you actually move out for these reasons? If so how was it for you?
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    (Original post by asif007)
    What religion are you part of that doesn't let you go to birthday parties? That's cos of your parents, not religion.

    You don't need friends - focus on yourself first. Go to the gym, keep playing football, study hard and make a better life for yourself. Work on your self-confidence and people will come to you once you're comfortable studying/working somewhere. Talk to people in school or work and go to more extra-curricular things - it doesn't have to be a sport. 1 hour after school every week is not much time away from revision.

    I agree that getting into hobbies and such makes you feel better, cause I've tried that for some months, but in the end of the day you still wanna hang out with people, but i like the idea of self improvement in self confidence and other areas. Im sure you must have a great social life, did you get involved with any activity that helped you get to know more people?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I agree that getting into hobbies and such makes you feel better, cause I've tried that for some months, but in the end of the day you still wanna hang out with people, but i like the idea of self improvement in self confidence and other areas. Im sure you must have a great social life, did you get involved with any activity that helped you get to know more people?
    I think what you're looking for is to meet more people rather than doing an activity. Talk to people at school, ask your teachers to put you in contact with other students, play after-school football etc. Once people see you enjoying yourself, they'll come to you. I'd suggest going to youth clubs or something like Air Cadets, martial arts etc. Activities are the best ways of meeting people your own age outside school.

    I don't have a great social life now since I dropped out of uni as my friends weren't there to support me. But when I was at uni, I did go to a lot of social events and nights out just to make an effort to be friends with people. I'd say now is the best time for you to make friends, while you're at school. Most of my closest friends are those I made at school and sixth form college. The people you meet at school will probably end up being better friends than people you meet at uni.
 
 
 
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