Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hello All,

    I am in need of some advice on a rather tricky situation.

    Im 24, married and a post grad. My husband is 13 years older than me and we've been married 1 year. Recently our relationship hasn't been great, we hardly talk anymore, we are rarely intimate and I fear we may want different things in life. I'm still young, I want to go out and see the world. I want to go places on the weekends and try new things. Where as my husband told me 'he's past that phase in life' and after working all week he just wants to sleep the weekends away. Whilst I really understand he does work hard, I have a full time job too but yet I don't want to sleep the weekends away. I can feel myself starting to resent him and I'm becoming an unhappy person.

    That being said I will openly admit I'm afraid to walk away from my marriage. I fear I'm not trying hard enough. I fear what my parents would say. They put a lot of money into the wedding and they also really like him and they would try talk me out of any decision I made to leave. As well as this we have some debt together. We took out a loan and we have 2 years left to pay it off, I couldn't pay it alone and I don't think he would help me if I left. So for now, I'm staying.

    My actual question is this: would you move away and live away from your husband / partner if you were offered your dream job?

    I am a forensic science graduate and post grad and have been offered the role of forensic science lecturer and funding to carry out research. The job is 5 hours from where I currently live and would therefore have to move. Whilst to some this job may not be incredibly exciting to me it's my perfect Job! The issue is my husband started his own company with family members almost 2 years ago and he would not and could not come with me due to work commitments. All in all I know even if he could, he wouldn't. He's very much a home bird and doesn't wish to leave the town we live in.

    I feel trapped for a few reasons, my marriage and the commitment I made was serious and not easy to walk away from. The debt. And upsetting my family.

    Would you move away, and try long distance marriage, for your dream job?

    Thank you 😊
    • Study Helper
    • Welcome Squad
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    Study Helper
    Welcome Squad
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hello All,

    I am in need of some advice on a rather tricky situation.

    Im 24, married and a post grad. My husband is 13 years older than me and we've been married 1 year. Recently our relationship hasn't been great, we hardly talk anymore, we are rarely intimate and I fear we may want different things in life. I'm still young, I want to go out and see the world. I want to go places on the weekends and try new things. Where as my husband told me 'he's past that phase in life' and after working all week he just wants to sleep the weekends away. Whilst I really understand he does work hard, I have a full time job too but yet I don't want to sleep the weekends away. I can feel myself starting to resent him and I'm becoming an unhappy person.

    That being said I will openly admit I'm afraid to walk away from my marriage. I fear I'm not trying hard enough. I fear what my parents would say. They put a lot of money into the wedding and they also really like him and they would try talk me out of any decision I made to leave. As well as this we have some debt together. We took out a loan and we have 2 years left to pay it off, I couldn't pay it alone and I don't think he would help me if I left. So for now, I'm staying.

    My actual question is this: would you move away and live away from your husband / partner if you were offered your dream job?

    I am a forensic science graduate and post grad and have been offered the role of forensic science lecturer and funding to carry out research. The job is 5 hours from where I currently live and would therefore have to move. Whilst to some this job may not be incredibly exciting to me it's my perfect Job! The issue is my husband started his own company with family members almost 2 years ago and he would not and could not come with me due to work commitments. All in all I know even if he could, he wouldn't. He's very much a home bird and doesn't wish to leave the town we live in.

    I feel trapped for a few reasons, my marriage and the commitment I made was serious and not easy to walk away from. The debt. And upsetting my family.

    Would you move away, and try long distance marriage, for your dream job?

    Thank you 😊
    I would, although to be honest it does sound like you're gonna get divorced eventually regardless :sadnod:

    Posted from TSR Mobile
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 18, 2016
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    What's your favourite Christmas sweets?
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.