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Dating - should i be upset by this?

Ok well i met a girl a couple of weeks ago, been out on a couple of dates with her and organised to meet in nightclubs etc.

Got off with her everytime i've met her, she won't let go of me when we're out, plus it's constant texting every minute of the day. I was even invited to meet her family at the weekend.

But today i saw some pictures of her chewing the face off another guy when she went out with her mates on Thursday night, she asked me to go but i couldn't.
When the night finished she text me saying how she had a rubbish night, really wanted to see me etc.
It wasn't as if she was drunk or anything, she stayed sober that night.

Is it just me or is this a bit of a slap in the face? I've been out with her a few times but she jumps on the first guy she meets when i'm not there..that i know about.
When i was out with my mates i didn't go with any girl because i would've felt guilty, she texts me all the time too when im out asking how my night is going.

Never really done the whole dating thing before so should i be annoyed by this? I'll know she'll say she wasn't cheating as such but i dunno it just feels like it.

Don't think i'll be seeing her again, shame too as i really liked her. She seems to as well but these pictures have put me off big time.

Reply 1

LaurenFah

Are you actually going out with her? As in boyfriend or girlfriend? (I know thats subjective as it's considered childish these days to traditionally ask someone out).

I'd feel a bit let down if the person had said they'd liked me and then went and snogged the face off someone. But to be honest, if you guys weren't actually going out there's nothing really stopping her doing it.

Reply 2

macca86

Yeah we're not going out as such, but we act like a couple when we meet in nightclubs.

I know she's not doing anything wrong really, i didn't even think it would bother me this much if i'm honest.
But when i saw those pictures i felt really let down, especially the way she was texting me after the night had finished in that way a 'girlfriend' would to a 'boyfriend' after a night out.

Reply 3

LaurenFah

To be honest, I can imagine how you're feeling, and I'd feel the same (even if it might be the wrong way to feel).
She probably couldn't see anything wrong with it though if you weren't 'officially' going out. You can either forget about it and give it another crack with her (possibly asking her out?) or you can move on and find someone else :smile:

People come and go.

Reply 4

monkeymayhem

Sounds likes shes just having a bit of playful fun with you. She probally does it to most blokes she goes out with and quite likes. Its probally best if you dont get too attached.

Reply 5

macca86

I'm not sure she does, she got out of a long term relationship recently as she found out the guy cheated on her several times, she does seem to generally like me which is why i'm not too sure what to make of this whole thing.

Incidentally the pics were on her friends bebo, she is not aware that i was spying on her bebo (sad i know lol but im sure we all do this to see what girls say about you after a date).
Well she gave me a link to her bebo tonight - the first time i've seen it as far as she's aware. She also put up the same batch of pictures her friend has from that night out minus those of her going with another guy.

Does this mean she feels she did something wrong?

Reply 6

LaurenFah

I wouldn't upload pictures of me snogging the face off a guy on bebo regardless of whether I had a love interest or not, to be honest.

Reply 7

username47781

Well if she has recently come out of a long term relationship, it maybe be best not to get in too deep with her just yet. It seems at the moment she just wants to have fun.

Reply 8

General Mullet

steer clear

Reply 9

lilgemmalea

I can totally understand where this girl's head's at.
I was in a relationship for two years which ended because he cheated on me and started treating me badly.
Then after that one for nearly a year which ended because i couldn't have my own life and that's just not my thing.
When that was over i wanted some fun.
Not just with boys.
Out with my friends having a good laugh
I got with my current boyfriend. And i was with him for 6 weeks.
We split on totally unrelationshipy problems.
My next-door neighbour my second dad killed hisself.
And i really lost it.
I did go out.
I did have fun.
I did meet boys.
But at the end of the day.. i really had strong feelings for my boyfriend.
And i realised that i had to sort myself out.
I did that.
And now me and my boyfriend are back together and have been for a month now.
I totally prefer relationships but that's just me.
She'll calm down soon.
Be here friend.
Be there for her.
If anything will come of it.
She'll realise and let you know :smile:

Reply 10

monkeymayhem

LaurenFah

I wouldn't upload pictures of me snogging the face off a guy on bebo regardless of whether I had a love interest or not, to be honest.

He did she uploaded the pictures up minus the snogging photos.

Maybe she regrets snogging him, may have been completely pissed especially as shes single may have seemed like fun at the time, it happens. She may even be annoyed at her friends for taking them.

If you go out with her again and end up getting close I think you should address her and ask her how she feels about you and where you stand. (Try and ask her when your both sober if possible).

Reply 11

LaurenFah

Yeah but like I said, the fact she uploaded all the other pics minus the snogging pics doesn't necessarily mean she regrets it - it might mean she just doesn't want them plastered all over her bebo?

Reply 12

Ron Stoppable

LaurenFah

You can either forget about it and give it another crack with her (possibly asking her out?) or you can move on and find someone else

Lauren - Both valid options, but so seemingly difficult for a relatively infatuated individual.

Macca - How you get round the imbalance is easy! Give yourself more options and use them to keep busy when away from, and raise your social value in front of, whoever this girl is.

Just strike up conversations with more people, collecting enough contact info to follow-up each time. These people don't have to be models; anyone goes. Even the staff - befriended bouncers can let you in past huge queues and into VIP sections, barstaff get you occasional free rounds, even lowly promoters can fill you in on the hottest gigs in town. And then there's all the pass-on-the-street people who'll have great networks worth tapping into - just talk to them.

The magic of this is that you get to have lots of fun, (whatever you're looking for, from acquaintanceship to loose larking about) she gets to see you having a great time without herand pine for you, but you'll be quite seriously too busy. Funfunfun! :biggrin:

Reply 13

Beckifoxall

Macca, i know how nu feel mate it happened to me before i meet my current boyf.

in all honesty tellk her that you were looking at her friend's Bebo and spotted the fotos, with relaying the question if you like me this much why jump on the first guy you see when i'm not there?!

although you must really like her, if she's has done this to you, even when you're not togetha it is still a kick in the teeth.

the other thing yo need to worry about if her ex cheated on her a number of times, she will know how to hide it if you two ever got together and she wanted to cheat on you!

Hope it Helps!

Thanks Becki :smile:

Reply 14

notsoperfect

i don't think you should take too much offence. in my experience, she is probably just keeping her options open. it sounds like she really likes you, but she might not want to get attached too quickly. maybe let her know that this upset you and that you really like her, but don't get possessive. you aren't her boyfriend.

in my experience, i am seeing somebody at the moment, but it's really casual and i'd probably kiss somebody else if i was wasted enough and i liked them. maybe this is because i'm having second thoughts about this guy? but it does sound like the girl you're seeing likes you.

Reply 15

shona

You haven't actually said you're exclusive.

Is it possible that she's kissing other men to try and push you into asking her to be exclusive...?

Just throwing out another possibility.

Reply 16

DaChronik

Just a wild guess... Tryna get you ask her out... I mean obviously this affected you. Maybe she wants to be in a relationship with you? I mean Bebo... Posting pictures like that... WHY?! lol talk to her about it yeh...

Reply 17

Anon80008

Return the favour?

Either go out with her properly, which doesn't strike me as a great idea, or just view her as someone to have a bit of fun with but not get invovled.