Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    Could someone please correct the word order and the verbs mainly, and any other things that could be improved. Ignore that there are no umlauts as I don't know how to type them sorry.

    Letzes Jahr bin ich mit meine Schule nach Suafrika gefahren, obwohl ich allen Landern der Welt zu gehen mochte um mein Eimer Liste zu fertigstellen. Wir sind nach Cape Town an der Kuste und dann wir haben nach Johannesburg im Gebirge und auf dem Land gefahen. Ich wurde lieber mit meinen Freunden als Familie in Urlaub fahren weil meine Familie lastig sein kann. Wenn ich auf den ferien mit meine Familie fahren wurde, wurde ich mich langwieligen.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ceridarnell)
    Could someone please correct the word order and the verbs mainly, and any other things that could be improved. Ignore that there are no umlauts as I don't know how to type them sorry.

    Letzes Jahr bin ich mit meiner Schule nach Südafrika gefahren, obwohl ich alle Landern der Welt zu besuchen möchte um mein Eimer Liste (I think the German for bucketlist is Löffelliste?) fertigzustellen. Wir sind nach Cape Town an der Küste [MISSING VERB] und dann wir haben nach Johannesburg im Gebirge und auf dem Land gefahren. Ich würde lieber mit meinen Freunden als meiner Familie in Urlaub fahren, weil meine Familie lästig sein kann. Wenn ich auf den Ferien mit meine Familie fahren würde, würde ich mich langweiligen.
    Is this the entirety of your speaking? I assume not as it seems a bit short?

    From this small pasage I can see that you've made good use of the perfect past tense + dative case + subjunctive/conditional. There are some good specific words like fertigstellen, Gebirge and Urlaub - but other, more advanced words could be used - e.g. sehenswürdigkeiten, landschaft, don't keep using gefahren.. try reisen (gereist - travelled) etc. instead.

    Also try adding more tenses - simple past and future
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Is this the entirety of your speaking? I assume not as it seems a bit short?

    From this small pasage I can see that you've made good use of the perfect past tense + dative case + subjunctive/conditional. There are some good specific words like fertigstellen, Gebirge and Urlaub - but other, more advanced words could be used - e.g. sehenswürdigkeiten, landschaft, don't keep using gefahren.. try reisen (gereist - travelled) etc. instead.

    Also try adding more tenses - simple past and future


    Thank you and yes this is just the first paragraph of it!
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ceridarnell)
    Could someone please correct the word order and the verbs mainly, and any other things that could be improved. Ignore that there are no umlauts as I don't know how to type them sorry.

    Letzes Jahr bin ich mit meiner Schule nach Sudafrika gefahren, obwohl ich nach alle Ländern der Welt fahren möchte, um mein Eimer Liste fertigzustellen. Wir sind nach Cape Town an der Kuste und dann sind wir nach Johannesburg im Gebirge und auf dem Land gefahen. Ich würde lieber mit meinen Freunden als Familie in Urlaub fahren weil meine Familie lästig sein kann. Wenn ich auf den Ferien mit meine Familie fahren würde, würde ich mich langweilen.
    Here are some things I found for you to correct. The bit in red I'm not too sure about, since I don't think there's a word for 'bucket list' in German.

    Inexorably anything else you'd add? Edit: Oops, looks like I was too late
    • Thread Starter
    Offline

    0
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Is this the entirety of your speaking? I assume not as it seems a bit short?

    From this small pasage I can see that you've made good use of the perfect past tense + dative case + subjunctive/conditional. There are some good specific words like fertigstellen, Gebirge and Urlaub - but other, more advanced words could be used - e.g. sehenswürdigkeiten, landschaft, don't keep using gefahren.. try reisen (gereist - travelled) etc. instead.

    Also try adding more tenses - simple past and future
    Could you also correct my second paragraph please?

    Am ersten Abend, habe Ich im ein fantastisches Safari Hotel übernachtet, dass sehr erstaunlich war, weil es Fünf-Sterne-Hotel war. Das Hotel hatte ein klares, blaues Schwimmbad, und die Tiere war nur wenige Meter entfernt! Ich mochte das Essen weil es ein Buffet zum Frühstück und Abenessen, dass sehr lecker war. Das Einzige, was mir am Hotel nicht so gut gefiel war, dass es kein kostenloses Wifi gab.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Inexorably anything else you'd add? Edit: Oops, looks like I was too late
    2 slow bro

    I keep trying to find a word for bucket list in German, but apart from the earlier one I edited (which is 'spoon list' I can only find the germans using the english term)

    (Original post by ceridarnell)
    Could you also correct my second paragraph please?

    Am ersten Abend, habe Ich im ein fantastisches Safari Hotel übernachtet, dass sehr erstaunlich war, weil es Fünf-Sterne-Hotel war. Das Hotel hatte ein klares, blaues Schwimmbad, und die Tiere war nur wenige Meter entfernt! Ich mochte das Essen weil es ein Buffet zum Frühstück und Abenessen, dass sehr lecker war. Das Einzige, was mir am Hotel nicht so gut gefiel war, dass es kein kostenloses Wifi gab.
    Sure I'll do this later/when I'm home from college.
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by ceridarnell)
    Could you also correct my second paragraph please?

    Am ersten Abend habe Ich im ein fantastisches Safarihotel übernachtet, dass sehr erstaunlich war, weil es Fünf-Sterne-Hotel war. Das Hotel hatte ein klares, blaues Schwimmbad, und die Tiere war nur wenige Meter entfernt! Ich mochte das Essen weil es ein Buffet zum Frühstück und Abenessen, dass sehr lecker war. Das Einzige, was mir am Hotel nicht so gut gefiel war, dass es kein kostenloses Wifi gab.
    Okayyy soz im on mobile so cant easily edit;

    1. Im to in (in the a hotel..doesnt work)
    2. Dass srhr erstaunlich war to . Ich finde es erstaunlich, war... You dont use dass tgat way
    3. Ich mochte das Essen (are you trying to say liked? Dont use mögen/mag/mochte for that) change to ich genoss das Essen.
    4. Place gab after Abendessen (there was)
    5. Dass sehr lecker war to diese (those) sehr lecker waren.

    6. Dass in the last semtemce doesnt work either but im struggling to think how to reword it... TheOtherSide. Help
    Offline

    2
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Here are some things I found for you to correct. The bit in red I'm not too sure about, since I don't think there's a word for 'bucket list' in German.

    Inexorably anything else you'd add? Edit: Oops, looks like I was too late
    Bucket list is Wunschliste der Lebensträume

    ceridarnell
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Okayyy soz im on mobile so cant easily edit;

    1. Im to in (in the a hotel..doesnt work)
    2. Dass srhr erstaunlich war to . Ich finde es erstaunlich, war... You dont use dass tgat way I think they meant the relative clause, so 'das' instead of 'dass' :dontknow:
    3. Ich mochte das Essen (are you trying to say liked? Dont use mögen/mag/mochte for that) change to ich genoss das Essen.
    4. Place gab after Abendessen (there was)
    5. Dass sehr lecker war to diese (those) sehr lecker waren.

    6. Dass in the last semtemce doesnt work either but im struggling to think how to reword it... TheOtherSide. Help
    That last sentence sounds pretty much fine, actually, if you put a comma before war: "Das Einzige, was mir am Hotel nicht so gut gefiel, war, dass es kein kostenloses Wifi gab."

    Plus use dative endings after in, so 'in einem fantastischen Safarihotel...'

    'die Tiere waren...'
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    German looks so hard
    :eek:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    That last sentence sounds pretty much fine, actually, if you put a comma before war: "Das Einzige, was mir am Hotel nicht so gut gefiel, war, dass es kein kostenloses Wifi gab."

    Plus use dative endings after in, so 'in einem fantastischen Safarihotel...'

    'die Tiere waren...'
    i didn't realise anyone actually understood german that well....... :shot:
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by defenestrated)
    i didn't realise anyone actually understood german that well....... :shot:
    I actually don't :rofl:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Okay, so maybe living in Austria up until I was 7 might have helped a tad

    And at other times, it seems like I've never spoken German before :facepalm:
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    I actually don't :rofl:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Okay, so maybe living in Austria up until I was 7 might have helped a tad

    And at other times, it seems like I've never spoken German before :facepalm:
    ohhh that makes me feel a little better
    Spoiler:
    Show
    but not much
    are you aiming for an A*?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    That last sentence sounds pretty much fine, actually, if you put a comma before war: "Das Einzige, was mir am Hotel nicht so gut gefiel, war, dass es kein kostenloses Wifi gab."

    Plus use dative endings after in, so 'in einem fantastischen Safarihotel...'

    'die Tiere waren...'
    Ah yes, I was trying to reword the entire sentence instead...all it needed was a comma

    And yeah re: the bold edit, I'm aware they're trying to use relative clauses they just seemed to be doing it awkwardly x)

    (Original post by surina16)
    German looks so hard
    :eek:
    but its fun and sometimes..rewarding...yes...
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    You can install umlaute quite easily on a PC. Control panel > add a language > add a language > German > add.
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    I think you spelt langweiligen wrong.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by defenestrated)
    ohhh that makes me feel a little better
    Spoiler:
    Show
    but not much
    are you aiming for an A*?
    Pshh I'm sure that you're epic at German :yep:
    I am... You too, I'm sure? :mmm:

    (Original post by Inexorably)
    Ah yes, I was trying to reword the entire sentence instead...all it needed was a comma

    And yeah re: the bold edit, I'm aware they're trying to use relative clauses they just seemed to be doing it awkwardly x)
    Yeah.. maybe I should have read the whole sentence
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niv1234)
    I think you spelt langweiligen wrong.
    It's meant to be langweilen, I think, which I put up there :yep: (I hope OP sees it...)
    Offline

    17
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by TheOtherSide.)
    Pshh I'm sure that you're epic at German :yep:
    I am... You too, I'm sure? :mmm:
    LOL i'm trying to scrape an A tbh
    we don't have any coursework though, it's all exam

    did you used to be fluent, when you lived in Austria?
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by niv1234)
    I think you spelt langweiligen wrong.
    it's meant to be langweilen
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
Updated: April 20, 2016
Poll
Are you going to a festival?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.