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Muslim marriage help! (Online) its long so plz take your time watch

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    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I don’t know where to start from but I really need some advice on what to do. Ive made a cou-ple threads regarding this before but no one really gave me real genuine answers so here I am again making a third thread so plz be serious if you going reply on this thread. Thank you



    Well here’s the prob ive been talking a guy online a Muslim dating site for about 5months now. I joined to find myself a partner I have a very busy lifestyle to search in real life so I tried look-ing on-line. Anyway I found someone… I liked his profile, it looked good also his photos were ok too so I contacted him.


    We got talking andgot on really well it wasn’t constant talking don’t get me wrong well for thefirst month we spoke almost every day then after that id message him one a weeksometimes more but yeah, im sure you get what I mean, anyway he’s account soonexpired on the site we first started talking on so we started to email oneanother instead wed talk almost every day although my replies were slow I wouldusually try my best to reply quicker and not keep him waiting…


    so yeah we spoke for about a month over email until he stopped relying I had his number so I started texting him instead I asked him why he stopped replying to my emails he said he hated the whole email thing don’t get me wrong he did mention it a few times on how much he hat-ed emailing he did also ask me to get fb so it’d be easier to talk but I didn’t bother. He also said his friend saw my email which I sent him and said its weird to email so he didn’t reply lmao So anyway about 2 weeks ago we started texting and it was great we spoke all day everyday un-less he was busy ECT… his replies were kind of slow but It didn’t really bother me tbh


    anyway about a week ago I broke my phone the screen smashed completely and it wouldn’t turn on so I told him this and said I couldn’t talk to him until I got it fixed tbh he was being really blunt as it was that day and he said something like “maybe this is a sign that this may not work” he was saying stupid things like that and I told him I wanted to make things work and we could carry on talking once I got my phone repaired… he then completely changed his tone and said he was prepared to wait for me as long as it took he also said to keep him updated on the whole phone thing over email.


    So a few days ago I emailed him saying how much I missed him and all that and he told me he loved me and missed me too and he said he was prepared to wait however long it took, I re-plied to him and he soon stopped replying again so I left it…. he gave me his password to the site we started talking on a while back, I was bored so I logged in the other day and there I saw he was messaging other girls well most of the girls messaged him first but there were a few he messaged like 2/3 first he would say things like “hey how are you? Btw you look beautiful just thought I’d let you know lmao” and he would ask them things like if they can cook, there hobbies ect when a few days before he told me that he was ready to tell his family about marrying me after we met in the summer, what I don’t get is he told me “this whole not texting **** is killing me ngl” then he goes sending messages to another girl that same day saying “how ya been” which to she didn’t reply to… he knows I have his password he didn’t change it which got me thinking he prob doesn’t care much if I logged into his account and saw him talking to other girls yet when I ask him if he’s serious about me he often gets annoyed and says things like “I’m ****ing serious I told you that”


    anyway he told me to get my phone fixed I told him wait a week and he said he’ll try I also said if he didn’t want to wait around for me he was free to go I didn’t want to hold him back but he said he didn’t want to quit with me when we’ve come this far… not only that… yesterday I no-ticed he cancelled his membership on the site so after two weeks he will no longer be able to message people on there yet he’s still contacting girls rn?





    The thing is I don’t know what I should do? I don’t know whether I should walk away and leave things or stay, I would say I liked him he’s seems like a cool guy but obvs I don’t love him as ive never met him ect but I do tell him that I love him ahaha which I shouldn’t but I guess he does so I do too… he’s making me promises on how he’s going to tell his family about me and after we’ve met ect then he stops responding to my emails because he cba and starts messaging other girls but at the same time he’s cancelled his account on the site and it will no longer work in 2 weeks’ time? Im so confused










    He also once told me how lonely he gets (he lives alone) and he said he loves talking to me and our convos mean a lot to him ect… tbh I just feel as if he might be playing me mainly coz I can hold convos with him while other girls are rather blunt some don’t reply either, do you think he’s just using me as a tool so he has someone to talk to him and compliment him as I do often or does he mean it? I mean if he really liked me hed respond to my emails and not just want to text… but instead he says things like “I’ll wait as long as it takes” what exactly is he waiting for? Like we could still talk over email like before yet he wants wait for texting? Hmm….
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    It's not really hard to figure out what he's doing just stop contacting him
    • #2
    #2

    And that's why you don't use these haram dating sites

    You don't know the kinds of people on the other side of the screen
    • #3
    #3

    the point of meeting on muslim dating sites is that you send one or two messages and then arrange a phonecall with his family/parents and yours and then you arrange to meet as families over dinner.
    why are you spending months and months texting and emailing? he obviously has no intention of marrying you
    you've both wasted your time
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    what I think you should do is if your serious about him you should just ask him straight outright but casually at the same time Iygm about it and see what he says. but tbh I don't think it's such a big thing, because he was asking them general questions and generalcompilements and not saying stuff to them like I miss you when you don't talk to me for example. if his reaction is negative and he says something like its none of your business, or i just did or anything he says is rude or in general just not understanding of you, then he's probably playing you, but If he gives you a good explanation then I carry on talking to him. if he's a decent guy he should understand, if he's not than forget him
    also idk if he thinks he's done anything to upset you at all, because after all he's given you the password, so he might not think what he did was bad, but it's up to you whether you feel you should talk to him or not. I mean tbh youl only know if he's right for you if you talk to him more in person, because people can be really different face to face. so I'd recommend maybe meeting him, go for a coffee or something? that way youl know if he's serious and then also if later on he takes a proposal to your parents house after some time
    hope this helps X
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    He doesn't sound serious. You deserve someone who is putting in the same amount of effort in as you are.
    • #4
    #4

    You've never met? Come on
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by shazy2014)
    what I think you should do is if your serious about him you should just ask him straight outright but casually at the same time Iygm about it and see what he says. but tbh I don't think it's such a big thing, because he was asking them general questions and generalcompilements and not saying stuff to them like I miss you when you don't talk to me for example. if his reaction is negative and he says something like its none of your business, or i just did or anything he says is rude or in general just not understanding of you, then he's probably playing you, but If he gives you a good explanation then I carry on talking to him. if he's a decent guy he should understand, if he's not than forget him
    also idk if he thinks he's done anything to upset you at all, because after all he's given you the password, so he might not think what he did was bad, but it's up to you whether you feel you should talk to him or not. I mean tbh youl only know if he's right for you if you talk to him more in person, because people can be really different face to face. so I'd recommend maybe meeting him, go for a coffee or something? that way youl know if he's serious and then also if later on he takes a proposal to your parents house after some time
    hope this helps X

    Well I just asked him, I said if he really loved me he should prove it but he said how can I prove it if we don’t text/talk or see each other… also I seen his messages with the other girl hes given her his number he also has her on insta now and snapchat he also made kik for her as she said its easier to talk that way… I feel awful tbh
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    the point of meeting on muslim dating sites is that you send one or two messages and then arrange a phonecall with his family/parents and yours and then you arrange to meet as families over dinner.
    why are you spending months and months texting and emailing? he obviously has no intention of marrying you
    you've both wasted your time
    U are right but I just wanted to get to kno him a bit firstygm like his interests personality ect
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    He said clearly you want to go so who am I to stop you, hesaid I proved myself before to but youstill don’t trust me -$���3��
    • #5
    #5

    He's using you as back up...he's keeping the conversation with you going because of how lonely he is whilst searching for other girls that may be better (in his opinion)..

    Cut him off and forget about him.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He's using you as back up...he's keeping the conversation with you going because of how lonely he is whilst searching for other girls that may be better (in his opinion)..

    Cut him off and forget about him.
    Hes contacted loads of girls so in some sense hes playing us all, hes told one girl that shes the only one he talks to lmao shes fallen for it already hes also told me that hes serious and is ready to tell his family next month should I wait until next month like if he actually does or not also ive noticed hes lied to a lot of the girls about his I know his real age but he tells them hes older as they happen to be looool tbh im just laughing he seems rather desperate ngl
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    Find someone in the real world sister not internet.
    Trust me it will be betterr
    • #5
    #5

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hes contacted loads of girls so in some sense hes playing us all, hes told one girl that shes the only one he talks to lmao shes fallen for it already hes also told me that hes serious and is ready to tell his family next month should I wait until next month like if he actually does or not also ive noticed hes lied to a lot of the girls about his I know his real age but he tells them hes older as they happen to be looool tbh im just laughing he seems rather desperate ngl
    Why would you wait? You know he's messaging other girls whilst telling you he's serious about you...if you'd like a dishonest man as your husband then sure, go for it. I'd personally run in the other direction.
 
 
 
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