The Student Room Group

I'm a jealous and possessive girlfriend...help :(

My boyfriend and I have been together for over nine months now, and everyone always comments on how well he treats me and how he obviously adores me. He is a truly amazing person, and I love him so much. I cannot stand the thought of losing him and as a result I've developed into this horribly possessive, jealous girlfriend.

He has a lot of friends who are female and some of them can be quite flirtatious with him; I know that he would never cheat on me and I do trust him but I can't bear seeing other girls hug him or have close relationships with him. Terrible, I know. But it's purely because I love him so bloody much. I actually feel physically sick at the thought of other girls flirting with him when I'm not there.

The annoying thing is that I get a fair bit of attention from other guys, yet it never seems to bother my boyfriend; he says he trusts me and so he doesn't care when guys offer to buy me drinks or start dancing with me in clubs. I HATE the thought of being one of those bunny boiler girlfriends but I just can't stop feeling like this. Please help.

Reply 1

I know exactly how you feel. I'm the same with my bf, however i've calmed down a bit. Mainly due to talking to people on here who have helped me see that if I carry on as I am, then i'll lose him which obviously i don't want.

You just need to see that too. Just try to calm down. If you wanna chat on msn then pm me.

Karen x

Reply 2

OK hi!, Id just like to say without scaring you that you should be careful...two of my very close mates were going out for over a year and because of her possessiveness he broke it off and started going out with someone else. During the relationship they were both besotted with her, but guys unfortunately like some space and they can eventually get frustrated about their other half not letting them talk to other girls. The question is whether you make it clear to him that you don't like him talking to other girls, if you do this then you may be more likely to push him away, sometimes its best just to keep quiet. However remember that theres a limit, if hes spending all his time with these girls or showing an interest more than normal in them then make sure he knows your not comfortable with it.
hope you understood all that...sounds like you have a pretty good relationship though, just enjoy it, i bet it even gives him an ego boost to know your possessive:smile:

Reply 3

I am not meaning to sound harsh like this but if you start being possessive and jealous you will drive him away, you need trust your boyfriend. He is perfectly allowed friends outside of your relationship.

Reply 4

Love is not selfish and possessive. What you are saying is not healthy and needs to be nipped into the bud. Take positive steps to counteract these feelings when they occur be it by reminding yourself that love is not possessive or that you trust him. Don't ever give up hope, you can grow out of this and if you do, i guarantee it will make you stronger.:smile:

Reply 5

Always remember that he is with you, he loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be with you.

He might talk to other girls, but he doesn't have a connection like he does with you.

Reply 6

randomgirl
Always remember that he is with you, he loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be with you.

He might talk to other girls, but he doesn't have a connection like he does with you.



Nice idea, but that's a bit idealistic. If that was the case, nobody would cheat on anybody.

Reply 7

Ginger_Rogers
Nice idea, but that's a bit idealistic. If that was the case, nobody would cheat on anybody.


The people who cheat aren't in love. If you're truly in love you won't cheat.

Reply 8

I think how you feel is perfectly natural..I've felt that way and no doubt will again. You just HAVE to not make a fuss about it with your bf because it will just push him way. I know its hard :frown:

Good luck xxx

Reply 9

Anonymous
My boyfriend and I have been together for over nine months now, and everyone always comments on how well he treats me and how he obviously adores me. He is a truly amazing person, and I love him so much. I cannot stand the thought of losing him and as a result I've developed into this horribly possessive, jealous girlfriend.

He has a lot of friends who are female and some of them can be quite flirtatious with him; I know that he would never cheat on me and I do trust him but I can't bear seeing other girls hug him or have close relationships with him. Terrible, I know. But it's purely because I love him so bloody much. I actually feel physically sick at the thought of other girls flirting with him when I'm not there.

The annoying thing is that I get a fair bit of attention from other guys, yet it never seems to bother my boyfriend; he says he trusts me and so he doesn't care when guys offer to buy me drinks or start dancing with me in clubs. I HATE the thought of being one of those bunny boiler girlfriends but I just can't stop feeling like this. Please help.


i feel exactly the same, it doesnt help that my boyfriend is 2 years older and can go out to clubs and get drunk and stay at his m8s houses without me so often, his best friend is a girl, and i always worry when eveer he goes out, but with me he doesnt seem to on the occasions i do get into clubs it's so frustrating x

Reply 10

Hey,
I felt like you for a while and occassionally still do with my bf of 3 yrs, he and I are good but he has this female mate who I didn't see eye to eye with at the start of my bf and i's relationship. She accused me of stealing him of her and that I wasn't good for him, at the time he stood up for me and said that was unfair, but they patched up their differences and she and i didnt. why should i, she was rude. Recently I did put my woes aside but she get pangs everytime she calls and he sees her, but he chose me and he loves me, she is just a mate. Hold on in there girl, don't worry, it will be ok. I still hold my reservations and you should to but not soo much to get this hyped up or jealous.