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Comforting yourself after losing someone you love Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Hi there everyone

    I just ended a relationship of the sort that I can't quite label and desperately need some sort of relief for all of the pain I'm feeling right now. We had been friends for over 3 years and I could always feel an attraction. Then a year later we hooked up and had an on and off casual relationship alongside the friendship. As friends we grew really close and he is the guy who I lost my virginity to (I have only done something sexual with one other guy since then). I grew really attached, especially towards the end and I really did love him, I still do.

    But over the past half a year my relationship with him started to do me more harm than good. I grew jealous, insecure and conscious that his feelings for me were not as strong as mine were for him, even though he claimed to feel the same way. I knew that we would never date officially but still clung to him and became a girl who I did not recognise. Then a couple of days ago I came to my senses and told him that I wanted to end things. He promised to stop contacting me.

    I know that I did the right thing by putting an end to that toxic relationship (even though he's a decent guy) that I allowed to drag on for too long but I feel so empty and hollow. Yesterday I had a presentation and everyone in class could tell I was sad. As I was walking hone the walk became extremely difficult and I felt like just collapsing on the ground and weeping. I dreamed of him last night then struggled to get out of bed this morning. I tried to play my piano but stopped in the middle and cried until I felt weak. How do I make this easier on myself?
    • #2
    #2

    His probably effing partying and ur hurting over him? I know feelings are deep and love is love, ive been there, but forget about him, live your life and baam. People are dying out there, dying for food, orphaned and all you care about is a toxic guy? Kmt.
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    Hi,

    Sorry to hear you are feeling down it really is such a tough feeling but honestly from experience I can tell you to get out and do things, go out with your family and friends and keep busy. The worst time is when you're sat by yourself with nothing to do but mope around. Keep active and busy and remember that when one door closes another one opens x
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    Sorry you feel like this, love hurts, either tell him you made a mistake or pack your bags and move on....otherwise you could end up doing something you dont want to...chances are hes probably got a different girl and doesnt even know who you are, be strong and move on, try visiting friends or clubs and hang out, best thing to do is take your mind off things. Good luck
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    Just takes time, but dont social media stalk amd cut contact completely or it will keep open. keep busy and just get on with things. If toy wnat to cry and grieve go ahead.
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    Time heels heartbreak. It will get better, but it's always going to bad when you go from talking to someone everyday to suddenly not talking to them at all. So don't try and get a quick fix (like jumping into another relationship) as all this will do is prolong the pain. Staying single for a while will help, it will just hurt in the beginning.

    What is good is that you know you've made the right decision. Clearly it wasn't working for you despite loving him and it's a really good think that you've managed to see that and break it off. Just keep reminding yourself of this. Remind yourself of all the times you felt down or jealous or upset because of him. A great relationship will not make you feel like this. And just know that at some point you will meet someone much better suited for you that you love much more than this guy, who will love you back wholeheartedly and treat you right. And you'll know when this comes along, trust me.
    • #3
    #3

    Hey,

    Okay you've broken up with someone you cared about and now you're not really sure what to do, you're upset and you just want the pain to ease off. The thing is you're allowed to feel like this and it's not something you can force. Give yourself time to heal, this is not just another boyfriend, he was also your friend for 3 years.

    You need to remember that you did something good for yourself. You weren't happy in the relationship as you kept doubting if he really cared. You're out of that relationship and you should focus on yourself. It will take time but trust me it gets easier. Surround yourself with good people and enjoy time with yourself- Netflix! :P

    Also, the boy probably wants you to feel like you do, it is a sign he has the last laugh. It's like with bullies, the one thing they hate is seeing you happy and pay no attention to what they say. You need to build yourself up again! You're a beautiful, young female who deserves to understand you don't need someone like him who did not make you feel like yourself.

    Do things you love, surround yourself with good people and if you need to cry then do it. The emotions need to come out one way. For some, they find it easier to write down what they would like to say to the person because that way, what they feel is written down in front of them. Then you can burn that piece of paper and realise you have not lost out on anything.!

    Gooddddd luck!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thank you everyone for your replies. I have an event I said I would go to tonight but am aware that getting up to go there will be extra effort when all I want to do is lie down and stare at the ceiling. I will force myself to go.

    I did try to see other guys while me and him had this thing going on since we weren't committed. One guy I met online and another who randomly asked me out. Both times it didn't last because after a while I would realise that I still loved him. So I will stay single and be good to myself until I am ready to date.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hey,

    Okay you've broken up with someone you cared about and now you're not really sure what to do, you're upset and you just want the pain to ease off. The thing is you're allowed to feel like this and it's not something you can force. Give yourself time to heal, this is not just another boyfriend, he was also your friend for 3 years.

    You need to remember that you did something good for yourself. You weren't happy in the relationship as you kept doubting if he really cared. You're out of that relationship and you should focus on yourself. It will take time but trust me it gets easier. Surround yourself with good people and enjoy time with yourself- Netflix! :P

    Also, the boy probably wants you to feel like you do, it is a sign he has the last laugh. It's like with bullies, the one thing they hate is seeing you happy and pay no attention to what they say. You need to build yourself up again! You're a beautiful, young female who deserves to understand you don't need someone like him who did not make you feel like yourself.

    Do things you love, surround yourself with good people and if you need to cry then do it. The emotions need to come out one way. For some, they find it easier to write down what they would like to say to the person because that way, what they feel is written down in front of them. Then you can burn that piece of paper and realise you have not lost out on anything.!

    Gooddddd luck!
    I didn't see this post but would like to say thank you! That was really uplifting
 
 
 
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