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    Can you check my work and send improvements if possible please!
    The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel. Breathing is unbearable, my lungs callously constricted, causing me to plunge into a pitfall of peril. Whilst lying on my back, piercing glass sinking into it from beneath, I see the buildings instantly disintegrate and dilapidate before me, drowning me further into deep remorse. I did not help. I just watched. Light combatted the thick blood red bands of clouds, dispersing a dark and mellow light to the world. An almost apocalyptic world before me, the flora beside me withering away instantaneously as the civilians erupt into chaotic cries.
    Thank you for any suggestions or comments....
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    (Original post by Minnie Mouse.)
    Can you check my work and send improvements if possible please!
    The sky above the port was the colour of television, tuned to a dead channel. Breathing is unbearable, my lungs callously constricted, causing me to plunge into a pitfall of peril. Whilst lying on my back, piercing glass sinking into it from beneath, I see the buildings instantly disintegrate and dilapidate before me, drowning me further into deep remorse. I did not help. I just watched. Light combatted the thick blood red bands of clouds, dispersing a dark and mellow light to the world. An almost apocalyptic world before me, the flora beside me withering away instantaneously as the civilians erupt into chaotic cries.
    Thank you for any suggestions or comments....
    Hey can I ask what this is for? I study English Literature as well as English Language at A Level.
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    (Original post by Rhythmical)
    Hey can I ask what this is for? I study English Literature as well as English Language at A Level.
    I am practising writing dystopian texts....
    Basically for school, but no one will read except me
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Unless its incredible, in which case I am publishing it JKing
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    (Original post by Minnie Mouse.)
    I am practising writing dystopian texts....
    Basically for school, but no one will read except me
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Unless its incredible, in which case I am publishing it JKing
    Aw ok.
 
 
 
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