Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
    • Thread Starter

    Now I am aware that most people cant be ars*d to read strangers work but I did this for a mock paper and was just looking for any constructive criticism. Thanks!
    The task was a GCSE language section b – writing paper and we had to write about a celebration that went much better than expected.

    Unexpected celebration

    Celebrations. Something good has happened, perhaps it's somebody’s birthday, or a friend is getting married. But it's not all fun and games, occasionally a party Is so boring you have to come up with a lousy excuse to escape the torturous 'celebration'. However, once in a blue moon, that one 28th cousin that is barely related to you is getting married and guess what, you're invited, so you skip your knitting class that week and go to the party. You sit in the car dreading the few hours that could have been spent making a scarf for your gorgeous nephew not knowing that you are about to experience one of the best parties in your life.

    One dreary winters day when I was young man, I sat watching useless documentaries on TV when I received a letter through the post, it was an invitation for my family and I to go to our distant cousins wedding. To a moody teenager, like I was at the time, I couldn’t bear the thought of thousands of pesky 7 year old's running around like headless chickens and screeching as if they were a bald eagle in search of its prey. I pleaded to be excused from the party but my parents refused. So, that was it, the end. Two whole days of my holiday would be spent at a wedding. Horrible, right?

    Well, it turned out that I had a ticket booked for a hidden gem of a celebration. Time passed and the event approached quickly. Tickets were booked, bags were packed, then all of a sudden I was sitting in a Bed and Breakfast in the middle of nowhere watching useless documentaries on TV. Eventually I passed out into the haze of blackness that we call sleep. Bliss. Until I am being slapped round the face by my younger sister. Not so bliss. Get dressed, eat breakfast, get in the car. Eventually we found ourselves driving up the mile long path to a luxurious lakeside manor house in the heart of the Irish countryside.

    We park next to a variety of exotic vehicles, owned by the richer side of our family, in our high end Honda Civic, now that’s a sight. We exit the car and walk up to the massive double doors, that must guard at least over ten million pounds worth of house, and we are greeted by a butler who directs us through to the party. Everybody is dressed in fine clothes. Everything was hand carved to perfection. All of it is incredible. The wedding service is packed with people but the after party is the jaw dropping part.

    The main party hall of the manor was overflowing with people, statues, flowers, everything imaginable. Several mile long tables that could barely hold the weight of all the food and then the prize item of the hall, the cake. Three tiers of immaculately decorated cake. Hundreds of hand made, edible flowers encircling a thick layer of icing guarding the cakes stuffed with a fruits imaginable. Not one person in that massive room wasn’t dazzled by the sheer beauty of the entirety of the building.

    There they stood, arm in arm, the newly wedded couple. The groom was impeccably dressed in a fine suit and the bride was beautiful. Draped in multiple layers of white silk and a few feet of dress being dragged along behind her. The crowd fell silent as the couple entered the room, then, al of a sudden, every single person burst into a applause.

    So yes, some celebrations are dead boring and you end up wanting to leave within ten minutes of being there, but this is a good example of an unexpected occasion, that will certainty be the most astonishing party of my life.
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • Poll
    Would you like to hibernate through the winter months?
    Useful resources

    Study tools


    Essay expert

    Learn to write like a pro with our ultimate essay guide.

    Thinking about uni already?

    Thinking about uni already?

    See where you can apply with our uni match tool

    Student chat

    Ask a question

    Chat to other GCSE students and get your study questions answered.


    Make study resources

    Create all the resources you need to get the grades.


    Create your own Study Plan

    Organise all your homework and exams so you never miss another deadline.

    Resources by subject

    From flashcards to mind maps; there's everything you need for all of your GCSE subjects.


    Find past papers

    100s of GCSE past papers for all your subjects at your fingertips.

    Help out other students

    Can you help? Study help unanswered threads

    Groups associated with this forum:

    View associated groups
  • See more of what you like on The Student Room

    You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

  • The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

    Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

    Quick reply
    Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.