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    ‘The devil is not as black as he is painted.’

    The night was utterly quiet.

    The rustling of leaves and buzzing of insects, the whistling of wind and chirping of birds… their absence was glaring.

    Something about this grove was so depraved, so terrifying that it chilled his bones. Cold sweat etched its way down his neck, soaking his collar through.

    What’s going on?

    It just couldn’t be ignored; the silence was so loud it drowned everything else out.

    And he collapsed, dropping to the packed stone beneath him, his legs suddenly weakening and folding under his weight. Mist rose as he panted heavily, struggling to push himself back onto his feet.

    That silence… why was it so vast, so unyielding? Was it just a glass dome that, once shattered, would belch out all of the sounds that defined life?

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    The screech tore through heaven and earth,and Jayr’s heart leapt into his throat. His bare feet slipped, and the stone rushed up to meet him.

    Jayr?

    That was him, his name. Jayr. How had he forgotten? Or, more likely, how hadn’t he remembered?

    Jaaaaayr…

    That taunting tone… he knew it, and it filled him with an irrational fear. As he pushed himself back onto his knees, the pale scars that zigzagged across his legs stretched, beaming like white gold.

    And suddenly it seized him, the grey memories of childhood. Bloody knees, sharp rocks, pinched and punched in places that left him whimpering. He felt it now, pain flaring up all across his body; he collapsed again, clenching his jaw as the familiar throes engulfed him.

    Sorry…

    The days were long, the nights even longer. It always ended with horrifying screams and wracking sobs sending waves of convulsions through her body.

    Her…

    Jayr looked down and realised, impossibly, he was holding a knife. Long and curved, the silver blade was stained with blood… as were his cuffs… and the rest of his shirt.

    Crap!

    Now he was screwed, she would skin him for this. He threw the bloody knife into a thicket of bushes, hands twitching, and tried to pull the crusted shirt over his head.

    The skin beneath the cloth itched terribly, boils growing along Jayr’s arms. He scratched at them furiously, a moment of bliss preceding agony unlike anything he’d ever felt. He growled, blinking away tears, trying to ignore it all.

    Yet everything was still so… quiet.

    And that was it… a wave of clarity suddenly broke upon the cliff.

    Everything around Jayr was pristine, regal, unspoiled… he had to be the problem, the mishap, the single corrupt being in this ... paradise.

    Jayr crawled to the edge of the road, reached for the knife, and tried to get back up. His body betrayed him, and he fell yet again. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply rolled over to face the unblemished canvas stretching out above him.

    Clenching the knife hard enough to pop his knuckles, he pulled his arm back, and slashed at the stars before him.

    The dome shattered, and the sounds rushed in.
    §
    Meaning/Backstory:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Lucifer was once peering down from the Heavens, gazing at the two creatures before him with morbid curiosity. As far as he was concerned, their entire existence had been a mistake, and yet he just couldn't help but stare at them.

    He looks up to see Yahweh, friend and kin, also watching. His brother had a far more optimistic outlook on these scum, believing them to be capable of good, even after the outright betrayal and ignorance of the trust that Yahweh had placed in them. He had begged his brother to stop his game, but Yahweh had remained steadfast in his views. So Lucifer, trickster that he was, began formulating a way of convincing Yahweh to see the error that these humans were. Eventually, he decides to propose a little bet.

    You see, all gods have one weakness: they're hopeless gamblers, as Lucifer well knows. To be fair, they were gods, what else were they going to do for eternity?

    Yahweh, predictably, relents.

    They pinpoint their opposing views on the human couple, in an isolated corner of the cosmos. According to Lucifer, the two humans, ignorant as they were, would only scorn any gifts sent down to them. Yahweh believed that a gift would help them change their ways, become better beings. So together the two gods began to mould their instrument, and sent it down in a vessel of flesh and fluid.

    The boy they’d been gifted had severe mental and physical disabilities, but he had a good heart, and would grow to become a blessing. Unfortunately for him, his parents were not of similar stock. Though it initially went relatively well, everything quickly spiralled down into a pit of darkness as anger, arrogance and hate overcame them. They tortured the boy, who had no understanding of why his father beat his mother and why his mother beat him and why he had to take it all. Eventually, it became too much, and on the eve of his fourteenth birthday, he sliced at his neck.

    The couple, today called Adam and Eve, had proven Lucifer’s claims to be true. So together, he and Yahweh sent catastrophes down, under the guise of boons and bounty. The healthy children they were given actually did change them, helped them become better and overcome their darker natures. With these ‘gifts’, however, came that famed curse named Cain.

    The two original humans would then be torn apart from the inside out when their children begin procreating, lust and jealousy breeding like maggots, and the tragic tale that began with violation ends with fratricide and murder.

    Lucifer and Yahweh then decide to move on, leaving the spawn of these devils to do as they please for as long as they end up surviving. Though Yahweh is glad to be done with them, Lucifer still holds a sick fascination with humans, and every now and then decides to drop by and meddle.

    Unfortunately, the sad tale of the boy sent down goes unspoken and forgotten. The tragedy that was the life of Jayr was never considered or judged accordingly by the gods, for all their omnipotence. His purpose and death ended up having no significance at all. His suffering will never be spoken of, his life will never have any meaning to anyone, yet the sum his life will become the epitome of what one calls Hell.

    §
    p.s. that first line up there isn't part of the story, it's just the quote this piece was based on
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    Brilliant piece of writing :woo:

    I really felt the darkness in that...
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    (Original post by Dohaeris)
    ‘The devil is not as black as he is painted.’
    The night was utterly quiet.

    The rustling of leaves and buzzing of insects, the whistling of wind and chirping of birds… their absence was glaring.

    Something about this grove was depraved, so terrifying that it chilled his bones. Cold sweat etched its way down his neck, soaking his collar through.

    What’s going on?

    It just couldn’t be ignored; the silence was so loud it drowned everything else out.

    And he collapsed, dropping to the packed stone beneath him, his legs suddenly weakening and folding under his weight. Mist rose as he breathed heavily, struggling to push himself back onto his feet.

    That silence… why was it so vast, so unyielding? Was it just a glass dome that, once shattered, would belch out all of the sounds that defined life?

    EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

    The screech tore through heaven and earth,and Jayr’s heart jumped into his throat. His bare feet slipped, and the stone rushed up to meet him.

    Jayr?

    That was him, his name. Jayr. How had he forgotten? Or, more likely, how hadn’t he remembered?

    Jaaaaayr…

    That taunting tone… he knew it, and it filled him with an irrational fear. As he pushed himself back onto his knees, the pale scars that zigzagged across his legs stretched, beaming like white gold.

    And suddenly it seized him, the grey memories of childhood. Bloody knees, sharp rocks, pinched and punched in places that left him whimpering. He felt it now, pain flaring up all across his body;he collapsed again, clenching his jaw as the familiar throes engulfed him.

    Sorry…

    The days were long, the nights even longer. It always ended with horrifying screams and wracking sobs sending waves of convulsions through her body.

    Her…

    Jayr looked down and realised, impossibly, he was holding a knife. Long and curved, the silver blade was stained with blood… aswere his cuffs… and the rest of his shirt.

    ****!

    Now he was screwed, she would skin him for this. He threw the bloody knife into a thicket of bushes, hands twitching, and tried to pull the crusted shirt over his head.

    The skin beneath the cloth itched terribly,boils growing along Jayr’s arms. He scratched at them furiously, a moment of bliss preceding agony unlike anything he’d ever felt. He growled, blinking away tears, trying to ignore it all.

    Yet everything was still so… quiet.

    And that was it… a wave of clarity suddenly broke upon the cliff. Everything around Jayr was pristine, regal,unspoiled… he had to be the problem,the mishap, the single corrupt being in this ... paradise.

    Jayr crawled to the edge of the road,reached out for the knife, and tried to get back up. His body betrayed him, and he fell yet again. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply rolled over to face the unblemished canvas stretching out above him.

    Clenching the knife hard enough to pop his knuckles,he pulled his arm back, and slashed at the stars before him.The dome shattered, and the sounds rushed in.
    §
    Meaning/Backstory:
    Spoiler:
    Show
    Lucifer was once peering down from the Heavens, gazing at the two creatures before him with morbid curiosity. As far as he was concerned, their entire existence had been a mistake, and yet he just couldn't help but stare at them.

    He looks up to see Yahweh, friend and kin, also watching. His brother had a far more optimistic outlook on these scum, believing them to be capable of good, even after the outright betrayal and ignorance of the trust that Yahweh had placed in them. He had begged his brother to stop his game, but Yahweh had remained steadfast in his views. So Lucifer, trickster that he was, began formulating a way of convincing Yahweh to see the error that these humans were. Eventually, he decides to propose a little bet.

    You see, all gods have one weakness: they were hopeless gamblers. To be fair, they were gods, what else were they going to do for eternity? Yahweh, predictably, relents.

    They pinpoint their opposing views on the human couple, in an isolated corner of the cosmos. According to Lucifer, the human couple, ignorant as they were, would only scorn any gifts sent down to them. Yahweh said that a gift would help them change their ways, become better beings. So together the two gods mould their instrument, and send it down in a vessel of flesh and fluid.

    The boy they’d been gifted had severe mental and physical disabilities, but he had a good heart, and would grow to become a blessing. Unfortunately for him, his parents were not of similar stock. Though it initially went relatively well, everything quickly spiralled down into a pit of darkness as anger, arrogance and hate overcame them. They tortured the boy, who had no understanding of why his father beat his mother and why his mother beat him and why he had to take it all. Eventually, it became too much, and on the eve of his fourteenth birthday, he sliced at his neck.

    The couple, today called Adam and Eve, had proven Lucifer’s claims to be true. So together, he and Yahweh sent catastrophes down, under the guise of boons and bounty. The healthy children they were given actually did change them, helped them become better and overcome their darker natures. With these ‘gifts’, however, came that famed curse that is Cain.

    The two original humans would then be torn apart from the inside out when their children begin procreating, lust and jealousy breeding like maggots, and the tragic tale that began with violation ends with fratricide and murder. Lucifer and Yahweh then decide to move on,leaving the spawn of these devils to do as they please for as long as they end up surviving. Though Yahweh is glad to be done with them, Lucifer still holds a sick fascination with humans, and every now and then decides to drop by and meddle.

    Unfortunately, the sad tale of the boy sent down goes unspoken and forgotten. The tragedy that was the life of Jayr was never considered or judged accordingly by the gods, for all their omnipotence. His purpose and death ended up having no significance at all. His suffering will never be spoken of, his life will never have any meaning to anyone, yet the sum his life will become the epitome of what one calls Hell.

    §
    p.s. that first line up there isn't part of the story, it's just the quote this piece was based on
    ‘The devil is not as black as he is painted.’
    The night was utterly quiet.*

    The rustling of leaves and buzzing of insects, the whistling of wind and chirping of birds… their absence was glaring.*Something about this grove was depraved, so terrifying that it chilled his bones. Cold sweat etched its way down his neck, soaking his collar through.What’s going on?*It just couldn’t be ignored; the silence was so loud it drowned everything else out.*And then he collapsed, dropping to the packed stone beneath him, his legs suddenly weakening and folding under his weight. Mist rose as he breathed heavily, struggling to push himself back onto his feet. That silence… why was it so vast, so unyielding? Was it just a glass dome that, once shattered, would belch out all of the sounds that defined life?EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!T he screech tore through heaven and earth,and Jayr’s heart jumped into his throat. His bare feet slipped, and the stone rushed up to meet him. Jayr? That was him, his name. Jayr. How had he forgotten? Or, more likely, how hadn’t he remembered?*Jaaaaayr…That taunting tone… he knew it, and it filled him with an irrational fear. As he pushed himself back onto his knees, the pale scars that zigzagged across his legs stretched, beaming like white gold. And suddenly it seized him, the grey memories of childhood. Bloody knees, sharp rocks, pinched and punched in places that left him whimpering. He felt it now, pain flaring up all across his body;he collapsed again, clenching his jaw as the familiar throes engulfed him. Come…*The days were long, the nights even*longer.It*always ended with horrifying screams and wracking sobs sending waves of convulsions through her body. Her…Jayr looked down and realized, impossibly, he was holding a knife. Long and curved, the silver blade was stained with blood… as were his cuffs… and the rest of his shirt.* ****! Now he was screwed, she would skin him for this. He threw the bloody knife into a thicket of bushes, hands twitching, and tried to pull the crusted shirt over his head. The skin beneath the cloth itched terribly,boils growing along Jayr’s arms. He scratched at them furiously, a moment of bliss preceding agony unlike anything he’d ever felt. He growled, blinking away tears, trying to ignore it all. Yet everything was still so… quiet.*And that was it… a wave of clarity suddenly broke upon the cliff.*Everything around Jayr was pristine, regal,unspoiled…*he*had to be the problem,the mishap, the single corrupt being in this ... paradise. Jayr crawled to the edge of the road,reached out for the knife, and tried to get back up. His body betrayed him, and he fell yet again. Resigning himself to his fate, he simply rolled over to face the unblemished canvas stretching out above him.*Clenching the knife hard enough to pop his knuckles,he pulled his arm back, and slashed at the stars before him. The dome shattered, and the sounds rushed in.*

    some of your words stuck together.... well done it is exactly 500 :five:
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    (Original post by the bear)

    ...

    some of your words stuck together.... well done it is exactly 500 :five:
    Yeah, I don't know why it messed everything up, but fixed now
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    (Original post by Alexion)
    Brilliant piece of writing :woo:

    I really felt the darkness in that...
    Thanks!
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    I really loved the meaning/backstory behind this, and the writing itself was beautiful.
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    (Original post by etherealinsanity)
    I really loved the meaning/backstory behind this, and the writing itself was beautiful.
    It was a lot more self-evident in the first draft, but that numbered over a thousand words (oops), so I had to cut significant parts of the story. I don't like it nearly as much now, but I still enjoyed writing it
 
 
 
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