Hey there! Sign in to join this conversationNew here? Join for free
x Turn on thread page Beta

Babies talk watch

Announcements
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I was discussing about kids with my bf, and he said that he wants one when i'm 32.. we're nearly 2 years apart, i'm 20 he's 18(19 in may) . I personally think 32 is a bit old.. what age do you guys plan/think of having kids?

    I would like to have mine when everything is good.. if it's 32 so be it, but for now...it's a bit old
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Peer Support Volunteers
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was discussing about kids with my bf, and he said that he wants one when i'm 32.. we're nearly 2 years apart, i'm 20 he's 18(19 in may) . I personally think 32 is a bit old.. what age do you guys plan/think of having kids?

    I would like to have mine when everything is good.. if it's 32 so be it, but for now...it's a bit old
    I think its always down to individual circumstances, i hope to be 24/25 for my first child (for many reasons but also having seen my mum experience a pregnancy in her late 30's and knowing she was very lucky to have my sister, i dont want to wait till later on when genetics are potentially going to be against me).
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    I had my first at 30yo, which, medically, is "mature." Sounds like he's just not ready to have that conversation, and so has pushed it over the horizon.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by claireestelle)
    I think its always down to individual circumstances, i hope to be 24/25 for my first child (for many reasons but also having seen my mum experience a pregnancy in her late 30's and knowing she was very lucky to have my sister, i dont want to wait till later on when genetics are potentially going to be against me).
    yeah, I understand and I personally want one around 27/28 but obviously the age gap is effecting the situation a bit. Which is a bit annoying...
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DrSocSciences)
    I had my first at 30yo, which, medically, is "mature." Sounds like he's just not ready to have that conversation, and so has pushed it over the horizon.
    To be honest 30 isn't bad, and yeah, he isn't because he wants to enjoy me to the fullest before sharing me with another human..and like enjoy that stage. But also, so that financially things will be good.. I can't help but see it a bit selfish from his side
    • Section Leader
    • Very Important Poster
    • Peer Support Volunteers
    Offline

    21
    ReputationRep:
    Section Leader
    Very Important Poster
    Peer Support Volunteers
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah, I understand and I personally want one around 27/28 but obviously the age gap is effecting the situation a bit. Which is a bit annoying...
    There's less than 2 years between you, I d call that a slight difference in maturity/plans for the future but there's nothing to say that if you re together in a few years time he might change his mind on timings of having kids.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To be honest 30 isn't bad, and yeah, he isn't because he wants to enjoy me to the fullest before sharing me with another human..and like enjoy that stage. But also, so that financially things will be good.. I can't help but see it a bit selfish from his side
    Well, to be blunt, he's taking you off the market for a very long time.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by DrSocSciences)
    Well, to be blunt, he's taking you off the market for a very long time.
    Pretty much with his name all over
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by claireestelle)
    There's less than 2 years between you, I d call that a slight difference in maturity/plans for the future but there's nothing to say that if you re together in a few years time he might change his mind on timings of having kids.
    That's true... time usually changes people's perception anyway. You're right.
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    To be honest 30 isn't bad, and yeah, he isn't because he wants to enjoy me to the fullest before sharing me with another human..and like enjoy that stage. But also, so that financially things will be good.. I can't help but see it a bit selfish from his side
    It's not selfish. Many people now want to wait with having kids because they want to settle down properly, have some time to enjoy themselves etc. It is perfectly reasonable. Having children is not everyone's priority.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Nadile)
    It's not selfish. Many people now want to wait with having kids because they want to settle down properly, have some time to enjoy themselves etc. It is perfectly reasonable. Having children is not everyone's priority.
    Fair point, didn't see it that way, thank you
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    25-26 for me as a guy
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Ayaz789)
    25-26 for me as a guy
    Interesting, why?
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Interesting, why?
    I think 32 is too late lol :P I want em early lol
    Offline

    12
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Fair point, didn't see it that way, thank you
    To be honest, so far I've found with guys that they wouldn't really mind either way with kids. It's like, they will happily be a father but it's not a priority, so of course they will want to actually do whatever they prioritise beforehand. With time he might even be willing to have kids earlier, at his current age he might not have realistic expectations of where he will be in 10 years time etc. I remember when I was 15 and and school we were asked the question of "where do you see yourself in 10 years?", everyone would reply "at university". But in reality, most people will be finished with uni a lot earlier than that if they don't take any breaks. It's possible that he's just trying to be safe so you're not disappointed later. And if you're worried about your "biological clock" then it would be worth talking to your gp.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Nadile)
    To be honest, so far I've found with guys that they wouldn't really mind either way with kids. It's like, they will happily be a father but it's not a priority, so of course they will want to actually do whatever they prioritise beforehand. With time he might even be willing to have kids earlier, at his current age he might not have realistic expectations of where he will be in 10 years time etc. I remember when I was 15 and and school we were asked the question of "where do you see yourself in 10 years?", everyone would reply "at university". But in reality, most people will be finished with uni a lot earlier than that if they don't take any breaks. It's possible that he's just trying to be safe so you're not disappointed later. And if you're worried about your "biological clock" then it would be worth talking to your gp.
    Ahhh, I see. Yeah, it does sound like him to be honest so I see where he's coming from. And yeah, the 10 year things gets everyone thinking about unrealistic expectations. Even 5 years time.. I'll just use the talk as reference for the future. And yeah, the 30 thing is about my biological clock thing, because I hope to have 3 before 38/40 just using my mother as a reference. Which I guess is not reliable as people are different.
    Offline

    1
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I was discussing about kids with my bf, and he said that he wants one when i'm 32.. we're nearly 2 years apart, i'm 20 he's 18(19 in may) . I personally think 32 is a bit old.. what age do you guys plan/think of having kids?

    I would like to have mine when everything is good.. if it's 32 so be it, but for now...it's a bit old
    one at 25, one at 27 and one at 30 and another one at 32
    Offline

    20
    ReputationRep:
    I'll be 32 when I have my first later this year. We weren't ready from a jobs/location perspective until fairly recently, and then conception doesn't always happen immediately when you want it to...

    I don't feel particularly old.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Helenia)
    I'll be 32 when I have my first later this year. We weren't ready from a jobs/location perspective until fairly recently, and then conception doesn't always happen immediately when you want it to...

    I don't feel particularly old.
    I respect that, and thank you for sharing. I guess comparing it to my mother at 26-27 that's why I saw it as old. While disregarding how things and time has changed.
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Interesting, why?
    When do you want them?
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: April 28, 2016
Poll
Do you agree with the proposed ban on plastic straws and cotton buds?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.