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He's moving to America
He told me the other week that he had something to tell me, but couldn't do it over the phone. Of course that freaked me out enough as it was, worrying like I do. And yes, one of the numerous nightmare scenarios going through my head was that he'll move back to america. And he is.
I think I'm still in shock. That I can't believe it's actually happening. I love him. And he's leaving in under 2 months.
And yes, we've only been going out for a couple of months. But I love him like no one else and... it's just sad. I can't break up with him now, I want to be with him as much as I can until he leaves - altho currently thats a problem as I'm doing my A2s - but its just upsetting that theres this line drawn on our relationship.
Another thing. I'm still a virgin. I've been waiting for the right guy to come along and in my heart I know he's right. But should I? I don't know he he'll want to knowing he's leaving but... Should I ask? Would that be a big mistake? Loosing my virginity to the guy I love who's then going to leave me?
I'm a bit mixed up right now. I just wish life wasn't so unfair.
I think I'm still in shock. That I can't believe it's actually happening. I love him. And he's leaving in under 2 months.
And yes, we've only been going out for a couple of months. But I love him like no one else and... it's just sad. I can't break up with him now, I want to be with him as much as I can until he leaves - altho currently thats a problem as I'm doing my A2s - but its just upsetting that theres this line drawn on our relationship.
Another thing. I'm still a virgin. I've been waiting for the right guy to come along and in my heart I know he's right. But should I? I don't know he he'll want to knowing he's leaving but... Should I ask? Would that be a big mistake? Loosing my virginity to the guy I love who's then going to leave me?
I'm a bit mixed up right now. I just wish life wasn't so unfair.
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Reply 1
No dont give him your virginity!!
Its clear the relationship is about over - although you like him, he obviously doesn't "love" you, otherwise he wouldn't be going back to America!
It could just be an eay way out of the relationship?
However, I am not sure of the circumstances to why he is returning, so more information would help!
You would be better off leaving him now so you can move on with immediate affect.
You say you love him, love is a powerful word, so before saying that, be sure that its not just lust or a factuation!
Its clear the relationship is about over - although you like him, he obviously doesn't "love" you, otherwise he wouldn't be going back to America!
It could just be an eay way out of the relationship?
However, I am not sure of the circumstances to why he is returning, so more information would help!
You would be better off leaving him now so you can move on with immediate affect.
You say you love him, love is a powerful word, so before saying that, be sure that its not just lust or a factuation!
Reply 2
I don't think its an easy way out. He really isn't having a gd time here in england, what with his mum and step dad threatening to kick him out, no job or anything.... his brother in America has offered him a house to live in with him, a car, and will get him a job.
Reply 3
It could just be an eay way out of the relationship?
However, I am not sure of the circumstances to why he is returning, so more information would help!
However, I am not sure of the circumstances to why he is returning, so more information would help!
Read this back to yourself....do you REALLY think he's going to the States JUST to get out of a relationship!? Can you imagine the conversation with his friends?
"Uhh...yeh man, I'm going back to America just so I don't have to break up with this girl. I mean, I'd be screwing up my life, but moving back seems easier than telling her she's dumped. I just have to give up my friends, job, uni course, whatever...."
Swear people are getting dumber...
Reply 4
I know its hard at the moment but i think you should come to terms with the fact that he is leaving.
enjoy the time left you have with him but also spend time with your girl friends or other mates and try and meet new people, so that when he does leave you have other people around you to help you take him off your mind.
dont give him your virginity, you will regret it forever if you do and he takes off never to be seen again!
enjoy the time left you have with him but also spend time with your girl friends or other mates and try and meet new people, so that when he does leave you have other people around you to help you take him off your mind.
dont give him your virginity, you will regret it forever if you do and he takes off never to be seen again!
Reply 5
Don't lose it... unless your totally fine with it. But it seems like you put some attachment on your virginity so I'd suggest not to.
On a sidenote, find out whether it is actually over for you. Then again I don't think you'd really be happy with an LDR, or him. Distance doesn't have to be a major factor, its up to you really.
On a sidenote, find out whether it is actually over for you. Then again I don't think you'd really be happy with an LDR, or him. Distance doesn't have to be a major factor, its up to you really.
Reply 7
Phillip
Is he intending to cease the relationship then?
I doubt it worth keeping. How long was it for though?
Anyway I dont think you should lose your virginity to him. You'll be so sad already and it'd make things a whole lot worse if you had sex with him..
Reply 9
He did ask if id come with him. I dont think he was being serious tho, and thats really not a possibility....
As for continuing the relationship? I really don't think I could stick with it. Seeing him a few times a year? Knowing hes half the world away from me and with all his ex gfs in america and theres not a thing I could do?
But does everyone think sleeping with him is such a bad idea? I mean what if I don't meet anyone else and go off to uni a virgin and loose it stupidly? Isn't it better to loose it to someone I love??
As for continuing the relationship? I really don't think I could stick with it. Seeing him a few times a year? Knowing hes half the world away from me and with all his ex gfs in america and theres not a thing I could do?
But does everyone think sleeping with him is such a bad idea? I mean what if I don't meet anyone else and go off to uni a virgin and loose it stupidly? Isn't it better to loose it to someone I love??
Reply 11
I'd say go for it. No one on here knows how strongly you feel for him or what the exact scenario is, but if you really think you love him enough to lose your virginity to him, you should. If you lost it stupidly with someone you didn't love as much after he left then you would regret not having taken advantage of the opportunity. But here are two things I think you should keep in mind.
1) Is he more desirable now that you know he's leaving? Don't let your relationship or feelings progress unnaturally because you know that he will be gone.
2) You might fall deeper in love with him after having sex and then you will be in major trouble as he's across the Atlantic. It would drive you crazy knowing that he is surrounded by new people and that there is very little chance of you ever reestablishing your relationship.
If you think you have these things under control, then you're all set. Good luck with whatever you choose, and I'm sorry about your situation!
1) Is he more desirable now that you know he's leaving? Don't let your relationship or feelings progress unnaturally because you know that he will be gone.
2) You might fall deeper in love with him after having sex and then you will be in major trouble as he's across the Atlantic. It would drive you crazy knowing that he is surrounded by new people and that there is very little chance of you ever reestablishing your relationship.
If you think you have these things under control, then you're all set. Good luck with whatever you choose, and I'm sorry about your situation!
Reply 12
I would say don't give him your virginity,
1) It has already been said, you could end up loving and missing him more.
2) You don't have to loose it stupidly at university the right person will come along at sum point, if you've already fallen in love quite young chances are you will again!
3) Sex isn't the be all and end all but do you really want your first time to be pretty much a one off??
4) For alot of people sex isn't that great the first few times anyway which is all you'd have with this guy!
1) It has already been said, you could end up loving and missing him more.
2) You don't have to loose it stupidly at university the right person will come along at sum point, if you've already fallen in love quite young chances are you will again!
3) Sex isn't the be all and end all but do you really want your first time to be pretty much a one off??
4) For alot of people sex isn't that great the first few times anyway which is all you'd have with this guy!
Reply 13
You lot all have a point, I think I'm going to have to discuss this with him and think about it a lot.
It's just upsetting that when I finally found a guy who's caring, gorgeous, loving and all I've ever dreamed of, something like this has to happen. Currently I cant work out whether it's better or worse than him just breaking up with me.
Does anyone know how I should deal with our last month or two together? Should I make the most of it and try to ignore the fact that he's leaving, and appreciate the time I have left with him? Or should I just be realistic and just be happy for him but let him go? I don't know if I can just let him go....
It's kinda sunk in now, and all I want to do is hold him and cry on his shoulder.
Sorry for being so depressive...
It's just upsetting that when I finally found a guy who's caring, gorgeous, loving and all I've ever dreamed of, something like this has to happen. Currently I cant work out whether it's better or worse than him just breaking up with me.
Does anyone know how I should deal with our last month or two together? Should I make the most of it and try to ignore the fact that he's leaving, and appreciate the time I have left with him? Or should I just be realistic and just be happy for him but let him go? I don't know if I can just let him go....
It's kinda sunk in now, and all I want to do is hold him and cry on his shoulder.
Sorry for being so depressive...
If you definitely are not prepared to give the long distance thing a shot, you should end it now. If there's definitely no future, hanging on to a time bomb of a relationship is just going to hurt you more in the long run.
You seem very contradictory in your attitude towards sex - I can't quite decide whether you're one of those girls who just wants to get it over and done with, or whether you think it's something special. Either way, I think sleeping with this guy will only make you feel more attached to him and make it harder for you to deal with when he leaves, if that's going to be the end of everything.
If he was the right person for you, him being alone in a country full of ex-girlfriends really wouldn't be an issue for you. I hate that my boyfriend talks to his exes, of course I do, but I know he'd never cheat on me, so it's really not that important that he maintains contact.
I can understand that your boyfriend is having a tough time and wants to get away from it all - but America? He could move to a different town in England, and that would be enough of a fresh start for him. If he truly loved you, I'm afraid, he wouldn't be thinking, hmm, I'll get away from this, I'll go back to the states; he'd be thinking, hmm, I'll get away from this, I'll move to the town where my girlfriend is about to start uni.
How sure are you that he feels the same about you?
You seem very contradictory in your attitude towards sex - I can't quite decide whether you're one of those girls who just wants to get it over and done with, or whether you think it's something special. Either way, I think sleeping with this guy will only make you feel more attached to him and make it harder for you to deal with when he leaves, if that's going to be the end of everything.
If he was the right person for you, him being alone in a country full of ex-girlfriends really wouldn't be an issue for you. I hate that my boyfriend talks to his exes, of course I do, but I know he'd never cheat on me, so it's really not that important that he maintains contact.
I can understand that your boyfriend is having a tough time and wants to get away from it all - but America? He could move to a different town in England, and that would be enough of a fresh start for him. If he truly loved you, I'm afraid, he wouldn't be thinking, hmm, I'll get away from this, I'll go back to the states; he'd be thinking, hmm, I'll get away from this, I'll move to the town where my girlfriend is about to start uni.
How sure are you that he feels the same about you?
Reply 15
shona
If you definitely are not prepared to give the long distance thing a shot, you should end it now. If there's definitely no future, hanging on to a time bomb of a relationship is just going to hurt you more in the long run.
I know this. But I can't just break up with him. I'd rather just see him whilst I still can.
You seem very contradictory in your attitude towards sex - I can't quite decide whether you're one of those girls who just wants to get it over and done with, or whether you think it's something special. Either way, I think sleeping with this guy will only make you feel more attached to him and make it harder for you to deal with when he leaves, if that's going to be the end of everything.
As I said, yes this probably would happen. As for my attitude towards sex, well I don't regard it as a momentous change in anything, but I want my first time to be with someone I care about who cares about me. Hence wanting it to be with him.
If he was the right person for you, him being alone in a country full of ex-girlfriends really wouldn't be an issue for you. I hate that my boyfriend talks to his exes, of course I do, but I know he'd never cheat on me, so it's really not that important that he maintains contact.
I'm not a fan/believer in long distance relationships. Yes I would trust him, but I don't think I could cope with only seeing him 5 or so times a year. In my opinion, thats not a true relationship.
I can understand that your boyfriend is having a tough time and wants to get away from it all - but America? He could move to a different town in England, and that would be enough of a fresh start for him. If he truly loved you, I'm afraid, he wouldn't be thinking, hmm, I'll get away from this, I'll go back to the states; he'd be thinking, hmm, I'll get away from this, I'll move to the town where my girlfriend is about to start uni.
How sure are you that he feels the same about you?
How sure are you that he feels the same about you?
Um yes. Like above, how can anyone think that he's just moving to america to get as far away as possible from me? Do you think he could be that mean? He's going to america because his brother lives there and has given him the opportunity of a new start. He doesn't have any relatives anywhere else in the UK, nor does he have the money to get a place of his own. He said if he did he would stay.
Reply 16
Love...? you sure??
i will do anything if i LOVE a girl, E.g i will move to the UK although
i don't want to etc....
i will do anything if i LOVE a girl, E.g i will move to the UK although
i don't want to etc....
Reply 17
I'm not saying he's going to the States to get away from you - thats stupid! But if he is as serious as you are about the relationship there is surely a way he could stay. You've already mentioned you cant go with him because your going to university but that at least shows you have considered it! Has he no friends he could live with untill he could get him self sorted or could he not stay with you, could he not stick with the situation hes in and save up some money. I'm not trying to be mean or say he doesn't care about you I'm sure he does but I can see some of the other's points, there is no way in hell that I would ever leave my boyfriend yet he doesn't seem to have contemplated any other options from what you've said! 
It might be easier to split up with him now rather than later. You'd feel awful for a while, but then you would still be able to see him for a month or two before he finally goes. If you don't split up until the day he leaves, then you would probably never see him again after that. Would it not be better to try and spread it out a bit, so that it doesn't hit you all at once?
i'm going through the exact same thing right now. you can look in my post history. i even consideredd losing my v with this guy befiore he goes just like you. but i realised, once you lose your v to this guy that you/i will never see again, we will feel a stronger attachment to him and it will just make it harder to let go. becuase now if he leaves you just feel sad because you love him. but if you sleep with him you will be sad because you love him and you lost your v to him. it may feel like you will never meet anyone else and you will only love him. this is how i feel, but you must understand life will goon and at uni you will meet many more guys. if he really loves you maybe in a few years you can give it another chance if he decides to come back. and you cant blame him for going its hardly his fault. just make the most of it whiloe he is here and just accept that maybe it is impractical to maintain the erlationship. perhaps you guys can chat on msn every few days just until you get used to him being gone. im sorry for you that he is leaving
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