Oh hun
I'm sorry I'm being so **** atm - as you can probs tell from my Facebook, on a bit of a rollercoaster of ups and downs atm with my health. I do care though, so message me anytime! You don't deserve ANY of this, let alone all of it. And anyone who gets scared off by you is not worth bothering with, imho, coz people who are worth having around you will stick around.
None of this is your fault. You're ill. You never asked for any of what happened to you. We love you!
I did assume it was something like that, tbh
I'm really sorry that all of this happened to you, hun! You don't deserve any of this either
Totally get what you mean about it being a strange time of believing and feeling like both versions are true. I get that a lot with my own life. It's very confusing for people who aren't part of my support teams. (Actually, that's a lie - sometimes people WITHIN my support teams at my hospital find it disorienting and confusing.)
It's understandable that the child part would go into overddrive at times, but equally that you might end up denying everything the moment you're out of the therapy room
It sounds very traumatic and complicated. But it does sound like you've got a good therapist who you can work with? So hopefully at some point, you can begin to heal from the trauma and accept and know that it was never your fault. Even if the parts cannot be integrated. (I think my psychiatrist thinks my TLGs can be reintegrated back into one TLG, lol, and I'm just like NOPE
)
Oh Saber
Hope you are safe