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Applied to a uni to be near this girl and she left me for someone else. watch

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    Last year I met a girl online and fell in love with her. We both did and she wanted me to go to Edinburgh for her. I already wanted to go anyway so I applied and everything felt perfect. I was there for her when she went through some bad times and she was there for me when my AS level grades weren't great. It got very soppy and we talked about getting married and having kids, the whole shebang. However, Edinburgh took a long time to reply to me and I guess she gradually lost interest or something. On my 18th birthday, she got drunk and sucked off another guy twice. I was so angry and just told her what I felt. Soon after, I got my reply from Edinburgh saying I had received an offer. I skyped her and she wasn't happy at all. She stopped acting like she loved me and whenever I asked her a question about us she always said "I don't know".

    Over the next few months, I tried really hard to rekindle what we had but it just wasnt working. Over easter, she skyped me again (we skyped pretty often) and told me that she had gone behind my back and met someone new. She had slept with him after two weeks of knowing him and they were now in a relationship. At the time (and she knew this) everything was going wrong for me and she knew I was feeling suicidal (as I was when we first met, she changed that but recent events have put me back there). She told me she still wanted to be friends but I was pretty upset. I was already self harming but that night I walked out to a nearby river bank and argued with myself for an hour about whether I should walk in. Obviously I didn't. I went home and because I was still so angry I messaged her a lot and just ranted. I will admit I was horrible and vile. The next day I regretted it and the next two weeks were awkward and now we're not even speaking. Its pretty much over.

    The whole thing has left me crushed and I'm devastated over how she left me when I needed her the most, went behind my back and everything I dreamed for is gone. I'm still looking forward to Edinburgh but its just not the same anymore. I just feel really sad and empty over it all. After all we trusted each other with, she said her boyfriend had made her choose between him or me, even though she knows what I'm going through. It's like I was there for her and after all this effort, she got to be happy and I'm just crushed.

    I'm just so devastated over it. I don't know what to do and its really affecting my revision. Everything just hurts and I don't know what to do.
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    This is why I dont trust women. Especially in the west. They do these deceptive things, and expect it to be ok.

    Sorry to hear this OP.
    Just forget about her, move on, and remember this next time you talk to a young girl.

    Dont blame yourself for your messages towards her too. remember, she cheated on you.
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    You should get counseling those are very serious reactions to a relationship breakdown. She sounds like a nasty piece of work, i'd be furious, kick her out of your life, if she ever had the stupidity to say hi to me i'd give her the coldest stare.

    She's the cheat, but you sir need to grow a backbone. If a girlfriend told me she sucked someone off i'd deport her to Somalia.
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    Just hope that she's too busy with her new boyfriend to get the grades.
    But you'll meet someone new OP
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    Well you must have your exams coming up, get good grades & apply through clearing?
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    She was wrong, but feeling resent towards her is only hurting you. Be the better person, and forget about her. Do what is right for you. Please don't contact her again, otherwise it comes off like you are being unfair/ disproportionate, whereas you are in fact the one with the moral high ground.

    It sounds like you need some help regarding mental health, particularly due to the self-harm/ suicidal thoughts - and I urge you to speak to somebody you trust about this, or a GP. You were treated poorly in this scenario, but your psychological wellbeing has evidently made it worse for you. Talking through your thoughts may also help to get your head straight.

    It will take time for you to be fully excited about Edinburgh again, but ultimately you still have university/ new friends/ new course etc. to look forward to let that be your drive during these days
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    It doesn't sound as if you're in a stable mental state, from what you disclose. It really ought to be your priority to seek peace of mind independently before all else, not to be reliant upon a significant other for it. No relationship is a sensible idea when both parties aren't ready, which is usually the case for people 18 or under.

    My advice would be to immediately leave her in the dust, as she is clearly detrimental to your well-being and your future. It's imperative to recognise that pursuing an online relationship whilst emotionally unstable was a mistake, and to move on. We all make mistakes, most of which we aren't even aware of at the time. She seems to lack the responsibility to commit to a relationship, whilst you appear to lack the mental health. Once you are at university and have a healthy mindset, then you should consider entering a relationship.

    Are you still planning on going to Edinburgh, or do you have another choice?
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    I'm still going to Edinburgh but that's only if I get the grades. My confidence and ability to revise have really taken a knock because of this. But yes, for everyone who has mentioned it, I have already sought help for my issues and this has helped. So thank you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Last year I met a girl online and fell in love with her. We both did and she wanted me to go to Edinburgh for her. I already wanted to go anyway so I applied and everything felt perfect. I was there for her when she went through some bad times and she was there for me when my AS level grades weren't great. It got very soppy and we talked about getting married and having kids, the whole shebang. However, Edinburgh took a long time to reply to me and I guess she gradually lost interest or something. On my 18th birthday, she got drunk and sucked off another guy twice. I was so angry and just told her what I felt. Soon after, I got my reply from Edinburgh saying I had received an offer. I skyped her and she wasn't happy at all. She stopped acting like she loved me and whenever I asked her a question about us she always said "I don't know".

    Over the next few months, I tried really hard to rekindle what we had but it just wasnt working. Over easter, she skyped me again (we skyped pretty often) and told me that she had gone behind my back and met someone new. She had slept with him after two weeks of knowing him and they were now in a relationship. At the time (and she knew this) everything was going wrong for me and she knew I was feeling suicidal (as I was when we first met, she changed that but recent events have put me back there). She told me she still wanted to be friends but I was pretty upset. I was already self harming but that night I walked out to a nearby river bank and argued with myself for an hour about whether I should walk in. Obviously I didn't. I went home and because I was still so angry I messaged her a lot and just ranted. I will admit I was horrible and vile. The next day I regretted it and the next two weeks were awkward and now we're not even speaking. Its pretty much over.

    The whole thing has left me crushed and I'm devastated over how she left me when I needed her the most, went behind my back and everything I dreamed for is gone. I'm still looking forward to Edinburgh but its just not the same anymore. I just feel really sad and empty over it all. After all we trusted each other with, she said her boyfriend had made her choose between him or me, even though she knows what I'm going through. It's like I was there for her and after all this effort, she got to be happy and I'm just crushed.

    I'm just so devastated over it. I don't know what to do and its really affecting my revision. Everything just hurts and I don't know what to do.
    Dude, the moment she said she sucked someone off you should have dumped her!!! Can you imagine what little respect she had for you by doing that and then telling you as if its nothing?????
    Bro, get your s**t together and find someone else, cut her off completely, the wound needs to heal... After a few months without talking to her you will feel better, AND never let women disrespect you like that, no girl is worth taking your life for.
    Wish you all the best, I'm sure you will get through this.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    This is why I dont trust women. Especially in the west. They do these deceptive things, and expect it to be ok.
    Yea just stereotype an entire sex. You get scumbag men in relationships too you know but we just have to think men are not all bad.
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    (Original post by indigofox)
    Yea just stereotype an entire sex. You get scumbag men in relationships too you know but we just have to think men are not all bad.
    Nah, just stereotyping the west.

    Its funny, because I see guys saying Obviously fake things to girls, and girls are stupid enough to believe them.

    EDIT: I mean, just my opinion of women from what I have seen. Every single girl I knew in a relationship cheated on their BFs during freshers. No excuse to that.
    Im sure it happens both ways, but I generally see women do it more.
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    being rejected by someone you are in love with is the worst thing in the world. but.... you will get over it.
    you will be able to experience love with a new person in due course.
    meanwhile study hard, get those grades & look forward to the future
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    Are you 100% sure you want to go to Edinburgh? If you have changed you mind or have any doubts at all, you could apply for uni again next year when you know for sure where you want to go.

    Also you sound like you're going through a very tough time at the moment, have you spoken to you parents or any teachers or anyone you trust about how you have been feeling?
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    1. Do your exams.
    2. welcome to teenage love and ldr.
    3. People can let you down.
    4. Dont always believe what people say.
    5. Its unsurprising she reacted the way she did, so if you react and post nasty things, then people cna be unforgiving.
    6. You need to see your GP and get some therapy to help you come to terms with this one and avoid such things in the future.
    7. Enjoy edinburgh and try to pit it behind you. id have told you not to be friends anyway, even before she burned the bridges.
    8. self garming isnt going to get you anywhere, focus on your exams.
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    Did you actually ever meet this girl? It's not clear from your posts.

    Anyway, she sounds fairly unpleasant, so you're best off without her. If you do decide to still go to Edinburgh, it's a big city and a big uni, so you may never have to see her. Focus on your health and your grades, leave her in the past.
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    Don't worry, move on and convert your pain to your strength. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger .
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    At least it's Edinburgh - one of the best universities in the world, imagine you had decided to go somewhere like Kingston for her.

    You'll get over it, was a cyber relationship (from what I can gather) anyway so not that bad.
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    She doesn't deserve you. Get over her. You will find someone else in the University. Better than her.
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    This is one of the more pathetic white knighting behaviour that I've come across. Have some respect for yourself you pussy pedestaliser.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    Dont blame yourself for your messages towards her too. remember, she cheated on you.
    Just because someone cheats on you, doesnt mean you have no responsibility for how you react and what you say. You might have very good cause to feel aggrieved, but if you decide to cross the boundary and retaliate with vicuious nasty langauge, hen you cnat be surprised if the other person shuts up shop and doesnt want anything to do with you.

    So my version of that is, by all means feel aggrieved, but you choose how to respond and you live with the consequences of your harsh words.
 
 
 
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