People have never gravitated towards me, I've never had a social life.

I'm in my late twenties now (won't say how old exactly ha), female and basically people have never gravitated towards me despite me making an effort to talk. I initiate conversation but am quiet and don't do all the facial expressions and chit chat that others do, I'm not a girly girl and I think that I think more like a male. All through my teens and twenties I've never had a social circle or friends to go out with at night, I've just been bored stuck at home wondering how to get a social circle or friends. I've never had a boyfriend I did meet up with a lad I met online once but it felt like a chore I wanted to be on my own plus it wasn't fair on him so I told him in the kindest way I could. He didn't take it well and insulted my looks but I guess it's what people do when they are rejected. I've never had the strong urge to have sex with anyone either.

I join sports clubs and talk to people there but never make close friends. I've been to the cinema on my own numerous times lol and for some strange reason prefere it it's less hassle. Although I like my own company a lot I've still always wanted friends and just to be normal. Ive always just been a loser though. Back at college I remember being rated the least attracted female in the class. It was for a psychology topic on facial attraction the class anonymously rated each other out of 10 and I got the lowest.. a string of 4's and two 5's, even lower than the male teacher in his late 30's lol. Ive always been in shape/kept fit. Apparently the point of it was to show how perceived attraction can vary. I've been to university twice and not make close friends. I got on better with people older than me they would talk to me more.

It's not all the time but I often feel very awkward when talking to people/socialising. Like I'm aware that I'm not expressing myself as other do and that I'm comming across as dull. One girl I got on with said I'm funny and quirky but I don't like being seen as different my aim is to fit in but I never have so I guess I stay quiet. When I make the effort to talk to people though they will talk back but don't 'light up' the way they do with others, people seem to feel more at home and relaxed talking to others than me. I'm always on my own. Something weird that I've noticed is that when I do talk with people and have a good conversation, for some reason I get embarrassed about talking to them again and sometimes avoid (which is unconstructive I know) as though I feel too much pressure to keep up the image I created, it kind of feels like too close for comfort. It's weird, I don't know why I've just never been normal :/.

I've always had hope that people will gravitate towards me more but don't know how to get there. At my age I'm on track to becoming one of these old women who are loners and eveyone thinks is odd. Well I'm actually that now lol but they say it gets harder as you age to meet people/be successful etc. It feels like a barrier that I've never been able to break through.

I'm in my late twenties now (won't say how old exactly ha), female and basically people have never gravitated towards me despite me making an effort to talk. I initiate conversation but am quiet and don't do all the facial expressions and chit chat that others do, I'm not a girly girl and I think that I think more like a male. All through my teens and twenties I've never had a social circle or friends to go out with at night, I've just been bored stuck at home wondering how to get a social circle or friends. I've never had a boyfriend I did meet up with a lad I met online once but it felt like a chore I wanted to be on my own plus it wasn't fair on him so I told him in the kindest way I could. He didn't take it well and insulted my looks but I guess it's what people do when they are rejected. I've never had the strong urge to have sex with anyone either.

I join sports clubs and talk to people there but never make close friends. I've been to the cinema on my own numerous times lol and for some strange reason prefere it it's less hassle. Although I like my own company a lot I've still always wanted friends and just to be normal. Ive always just been a loser though. Back at college I remember being rated the least attracted female in the class. It was for a psychology topic on facial attraction the class anonymously rated each other out of 10 and I got the lowest.. a string of 4's and two 5's, even lower than the male teacher in his late 30's lol. Ive always been in shape/kept fit. Apparently the point of it was to show how perceived attraction can vary. I've been to university twice and not make close friends. I got on better with people older than me they would talk to me more.

It's not all the time but I often feel very awkward when talking to people/socialising. Like I'm aware that I'm not expressing myself as other do and that I'm comming across as dull. One girl I got on with said I'm funny and quirky but I don't like being seen as different my aim is to fit in but I never have so I guess I stay quiet. When I make the effort to talk to people though they will talk back but don't 'light up' the way they do with others, people seem to feel more at home and relaxed talking to others than me. I'm always on my own. Something weird that I've noticed is that when I do talk with people and have a good conversation, for some reason I get embarrassed about talking to them again and sometimes avoid (which is unconstructive I know) as though I feel too much pressure to keep up the image I created, it kind of feels like too close for comfort. It's weird, I don't know why I've just never been normal :/.

I've always had hope that people will gravitate towards me more but don't know how to get there. At my age I'm on track to becoming one of these old women who are loners and eveyone thinks is odd. Well I'm actually that now lol but they say it gets harder as you age to meet people/be successful etc. It feels like a barrier that I've never been able to break through.

I'm sorry to hear that! I think more people feel that way than you might think. I used to be like that for secondary school until I went to university. One way I improved was to really try and become interested in learning about the other person. That way my enthusiasm for the conversation seemed to spread and people feel that you care about them. Maybe try not to think about conversations in terms of your long term social future but just try and think about what is being said in the moment and try and go with the flow of the conversation. Easier said than done I know! Also you seem like a nice person and the likelyhood is you haven't met the right personality fit for you yet. Eventually this is very likely to happen if you keep putting yourself out there. Are you currently in work? Also have you considered volunteering? Working towards a common goal can be a good way of making friends. Also do you still live with your parents or in your own place?

It almost looks you are happy the way you are!