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He left me for his ex partner, advice on how to cope? watch

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    Hello,
    At the end of January I met a guy. We connected instantly and we quickly became very close. During this time, he had recently broken up with his partner of seven years. I was anxious of what would happen, but I thought a little fun wouldn't hurt.

    As time went by, we became very intimate and I lost my virginity to him. He saw me as his confidant and I would do my best to help him with anything. We were never in a relationship, but the way he was treating me would suggest otherwise. I guess you could say we were never official. And deep down, I knew this was because of his ex partner.

    One evening he called me to ask me to dinner on a Monday. He said he couldn't do the Saturday as he was going away. The next day I asked him who he was going away with, and he told me he was going with his ex partner. This broke my heart, as I knew this was the beginning of them getting back together.

    Gradually I distanced myself to protect my own feelings, but as I was getting over him he would always call or text me. I was angry because he was treating me like nothing happened between us at all. He just considered me his friend. I decided it was too hard for me to have him in my life so I blocked his number. A week or two later he Facebook messaged me asking how I was and why he wasn't able to call me. Again, I ignored his messages and blocked him. He clearly knew how upset I was but chose to turn a blind eye to it.

    I had a look at his profile the other day and he's on cloud nine with his partner. And it's as though I never existed. Clearly I was a rebound and a distraction from the issues he was having with his partner. I feel so used and it pains me so much to think how distant I feel from someone I became so attached to both emotionally and intimately.

    I haven't spoken to him for over a month now, but the pain still remains. Any advice? Thanks for reading.
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    (Original post by Mj2014)
    Hello,
    At the end of January I met a guy. We connected instantly and we quickly became very close. During this time, he had recently broken up with his partner of seven years. I was anxious of what would happen, but I thought a little fun wouldn't hurt.

    As time went by, we became very intimate and I lost my virginity to him. He saw me as his confidant and I would do my best to help him with anything. We were never in a relationship, but the way he was treating me would suggest otherwise. I guess you could say we were never official. And deep down, I knew this was because of his ex partner.

    One evening he called me to ask me to dinner on a Monday. He said he couldn't do the Saturday as he was going away. The next day I asked him who he was going away with, and he told me he was going with his ex partner. This broke my heart, as I knew this was the beginning of them getting back together.

    Gradually I distanced myself to protect my own feelings, but as I was getting over him he would always call or text me. I was angry because he was treating me like nothing happened between us at all. He just considered me his friend. I decided it was too hard for me to have him in my life so I blocked his number. A week or two later he Facebook messaged me asking how I was and why he wasn't able to call me. Again, I ignored his messages and blocked him. He clearly knew how upset I was but chose to turn a blind eye to it.

    I had a look at his profile the other day and he's on cloud nine with his partner. And it's as though I never existed. Clearly I was a rebound and a distraction from the issues he was having with his partner. I feel so used and it pains me so much to think how distant I feel from someone I became so attached to both emotionally and intimately.

    I haven't spoken to him for over a month now, but the pain still remains. Any advice? Thanks for reading.
    This is laughable, I'm sorry but laughable. You state you were never official. You have 'some fun'. He gets back with his ex-partner because it wasn't official (presumably) and then you block him. He tries to contact you to ask what's wrong and you ignore him. And now you don't seem to quite understand why he's moved on.

    REALLYYYYY
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    My advice is stop being passive aggressive and feeling sorry for yourself.
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    You should have spoken to him - sorry to say, but your behaviour here was pretty immature.

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    He didn't leave you
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    If you have feelings for someone you're not in a relationship with, what do you expect?
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    Right? Its tough but you guys were never official. And its probably true you were his rebound and to be fair, he never did say you two were a couple. You caught some feelings in this "fun" relationship with him while he still has feelings for his ex.
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    Time will heal the pain, and in the long run you just need to have learnt from this experience. Although it was a big *****y of him to string you along you cant really blame him too much because you could have ended things when you weren't happy with it being just a casual thing, or could have been much clearer that you wanted a relationship.

    But you know now so just make sure you learn from it - if a guy wants something casual it is very unlikely to then turn into a relationship, so don't partake in it if you aren't happy having a 'friends with benefits' thing.
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    Time is the best healer. I know that doesn't help you right now, but just bare the thought in the back of your mind when you're feeling down. You won't feel like this forever. It's also worth remembering that you're not alone, thousands, millions of people feel heart break every day. You're not the first to go through this and you won't be the last. Hopefully you can find some comfort in that.

    The best thing to do right now is focus on bettering yourself, learn from what's happened and just see it as another lesson in life. Perhaps join a gym, get some new clothes maybe even a new hair colour/cut or start a new hobby.
    Not to mention keep busy and spend time with friends and family.

    It will get better


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    (Original post by Carnes)
    This is laughable, I'm sorry but laughable. You state you were never official. You have 'some fun'. He gets back with his ex-partner because it wasn't official (presumably) and then you block him. He tries to contact you to ask what's wrong and you ignore him. And now you don't seem to quite understand why he's moved on.

    REALLYYYYY
    OMG. LOL so did I.

    Why are you so delusional OP?
    You never once stated you were in any kind of relationship other than "fwb".
 
 
 
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