Broken up because of uni
After a 4 year long relationship my boyfriend and I broke up the other day, simply because I will be moving to another city for uni. Personally, I didn't see the distance as such a big deal but obviously for him, it is too much. How should I get over him ? I find myself being lonely and bored. We are staying as friends, and I have talked to him a bit since, he was not just my boyfriend, but also my closest friend. This is why I am struggling so bad. I guess he wants me to leave him alone, so he can get over me, but it's so hard, personally I would rather keep talking and seeing each other as I miss him badly.
On top of this, I don't have many close friends right now because I already finished college last year, so my life is just boring. I guess I need to make some, but I am not sure how.
I hope uni is worth this heartache
On top of this, I don't have many close friends right now because I already finished college last year, so my life is just boring. I guess I need to make some, but I am not sure how.
I hope uni is worth this heartache
There's not really a certain way to get over a long term relationship. If you're saying friends I guess you could continue talking to him. But you obviously won't get over him then. When you get to uni you'll make tons of new friends instantly, so it won't be so bad.
Why did you guys break up so early though? Aren't you moving in September?
Why did you guys break up so early though? Aren't you moving in September?
He wants to focus on getting his A levels I guess, idk, although we sort of agreed to split eventually, he was the one wanting it now.
Original post by Anonymous
He wants to focus on getting his A levels I guess, idk, although we sort of agreed to split eventually, he was the one wanting it now.
Fair enough, I think you'll feel a lot better when uni starts. You'll make friends and really enjoy it.
Original post by Anonymous
He wants to focus on getting his A levels I guess, idk, although we sort of agreed to split eventually, he was the one wanting it now.
Are you sure the distance was the real reason for the break up and not an excuse? He probably wants to meet other girls at uni and decided to break up with you but like other poster said bizarre for ending it early im sure A-levels finish in May so you can have months with each other till uni starts.
Also if he really cared about you then he would've made it work.
Original post by chikane
Are you sure the distance was the real reason for the break up and not an excuse? He probably wants to meet other girls at uni and decided to break up with you but like other poster said bizarre for ending it early im sure A-levels finish in May so you can have months with each other till uni starts.
Also if he really cared about you then he would've made it work.
Also if he really cared about you then he would've made it work.
Sadly you may be correct. This is exactly what I thought and the reason I simply agreed to breaking up when he explained. I am very observant and am not easily fooled. But also, we are still friends, and we have met up since but I am not sure how dangerous this could be for me, as it may enhance my attachment? But on the other hand I feel like I need his support right now because he is the only person close enough to trust things with. (Mental health issues etc, I don't wish to go into detail here)
Original post by Anonymous
Sadly you may be correct. This is exactly what I thought and the reason I simply agreed to breaking up when he explained. I am very observant and am not easily fooled. But also, we are still friends, and we have met up since but I am not sure how dangerous this could be for me, as it may enhance my attachment? But on the other hand I feel like I need his support right now because he is the only person close enough to trust things with. (Mental health issues etc, I don't wish to go into detail here)
I just thought if he really cared or loved you then he would try to make it work i mean lots of couples go to different uni and try and make it work why can't he unless he wants to meet other people but used distance as an excuse. If you are relying on him for your problems your feelings will still be there for him, if you can you should distance yourself from him and speak to him when you have moved on or when your feelings have subsided.
Original post by Anonymous
Sadly you may be correct. This is exactly what I thought and the reason I simply agreed to breaking up when he explained. I am very observant and am not easily fooled. But also, we are still friends, and we have met up since but I am not sure how dangerous this could be for me, as it may enhance my attachment? But on the other hand I feel like I need his support right now because he is the only person close enough to trust things with. (Mental health issues etc, I don't wish to go into detail here)
Wow he broke up with you just because you are gonna be a bit further away, well sorry but he obviously wasn't that bothered to try and make it work. I personally would block and cut him out for it.
Best way to get over it would be to cut off contact for awhile. Staying friends after a breakup is never really a good idea, especially when in reality (and generally speaking) one of you doesn't really want to be friends...
Time and space. Do it for yourself, you'll feel better for it!
Time and space. Do it for yourself, you'll feel better for it!
Best way to get over him is to get under another guy xo
You need a break from him. Yes it's a nice thought to remain friends with a person you once loved and was intimate with, but you.need to heal & move on.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Everything said above. Cut the guy loose and get reacquainted with friends or make new ones. Get a summer job and get preoccupied with being busy. Do not contact him, do not meet up with him, it's over.
Use this as a crucial life lesson that you should never ditch friends and become isolated in an intimate relationship - it's simply not healthy.
Use this as a crucial life lesson that you should never ditch friends and become isolated in an intimate relationship - it's simply not healthy.
Original post by Anonymous
Sadly you may be correct. This is exactly what I thought and the reason I simply agreed to breaking up when he explained. I am very observant and am not easily fooled. But also, we are still friends, and we have met up since but I am not sure how dangerous this could be for me, as it may enhance my attachment? But on the other hand I feel like I need his support right now because he is the only person close enough to trust things with. (Mental health issues etc, I don't wish to go into detail here)
Does it make sense that he has broken it off with you and then in the next breath you say he is still friends? Sounds like he is going to try and keep you as a reserve while officially having broken it off so you will have no official right to ask anything of him.
He knows you are still emotionally attached and having no morals he is quite prepared to exploit your feelings to his own advantage. Run a mile. If you let him, he'll keep you hanging on hoping for a reconciliation for weeks or years while he plays the field and in the end he'll marry someone else.
Luckily he has shown his true colours ( a complete s-t) so now you know and you should cut him out of your life - no texts, no meetings, no phone calls.
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