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How to tell my friend I don't want to move in with him Watch

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    Hoping I can get some help with this.

    Late last year, a friend of mine was struggling with a housing crisis, I felt bad for him and out of kindness offered to let him move into my 2 bed flat and charge him very cheap rent to live with me because that was the only way he could afford housing as he was too anxious to live in shared accommodation with strangers. I currently live alone in my own apartment, and the truth is i immediately regretted offering to live together.

    There's nothing wrong with my friend, but there's a reason I live by myself. I like to have my freedom and privacy and space at home. I get very exhausted daily from physical and social interactions. Coming back home at the end of the day is my chance to relax in my own space, having freedom to just relax at home without having to deal with anyone and the truth is i'm also quite territorial about my space, I keep things in order and would get pissed off if he was here making a mess or lounging on my couch. The only exceptions to this is if I was living with a girlfriend/someone I was actually dating. Aside from that, I don't actually want to share my space and I don't know to retract my offer.

    Don't get me wrong, I love having people overand I don't mind friends coming to sleep over or stay for a weekend, but I really have no interest in having a roommate. Not only that but I think it would also be more annoying knowing he was living here for free (the "rent" i offered to charge him is literally negligible, just £100 a month to live in a £800 a month flat with me)
    I'v always had a problem with being too generous for my own good and as a result being taken advantage of.

    I know i'm not under any obligation to support him, it was an offer I made out of good will and now I don't know to tell him that he needs to get his own place.
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    I'm exactly the same as you Anon, I enjoy my own space and enjoy my own company. No one else. But ofc if it was a partner it would be different.

    If i were you i'd try and push him to finding a new place, ofc this will raise questions with him and he'll ask why. I cant really help you there but my advice would be to try and suggest new places, maybe find some cheap places for him to live thats close to you. If he sees you as a friend and talks to you, tries to make an effort with you, it'll be a nice touch as you can still chat to him, be close and do things but he'll be in his own place and you'll have your freedom.

    Sorry if this wasnt that helpful, hope it helps a little bit!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hoping I can get some help with this.

    Late last year, a friend of mine was struggling with a housing crisis, I felt bad for him and out of kindness offered to let him move into my 2 bed flat and charge him very cheap rent to live with me because that was the only way he could afford housing as he was too anxious to live in shared accommodation with strangers. I currently live alone in my own apartment, and the truth is i immediately regretted offering to live together.

    There's nothing wrong with my friend, but there's a reason I live by myself. I like to have my freedom and privacy and space at home. I get very exhausted daily from physical and social interactions. Coming back home at the end of the day is my chance to relax in my own space, having freedom to just relax at home without having to deal with anyone and the truth is i'm also quite territorial about my space, I keep things in order and would get pissed off if he was here making a mess or lounging on my couch. The only exceptions to this is if I was living with a girlfriend/someone I was actually dating. Aside from that, I don't actually want to share my space and I don't know to retract my offer.

    Don't get me wrong, I love having people overand I don't mind friends coming to sleep over or stay for a weekend, but I really have no interest in having a roommate. Not only that but I think it would also be more annoying knowing he was living here for free (the "rent" i offered to charge him is literally negligible, just £100 a month to live in a £800 a month flat with me)
    I'v always had a problem with being too generous for my own good and as a result being taken advantage of.

    I know i'm not under any obligation to support him, it was an offer I made out of good will and now I don't know to tell him that he needs to get his own place.
    What you are feeling is perfectly reasonable. Just come to him and say :"We need to talk", sit somewhere and talk about it. You've already done hell of a lot for him, if he's not able to appreciate that then he's not your friend.
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    Depends on how good a friend he is and how much of a bind it will put him in.
    Btw is it him you dont want to move in with you rather than you with him?

    1. Just tell him as above that you dont think its a good idea. he cant argue as its your flat, but you do whatever damage to the friendship as you are going back on your promise. Friends might not do that, but depends what sort of friendship you have.
    2. Offer to do it for a limited period? 3 months till he cna find somewhere, although might be hard to shif him?
    3. Offer to help him wth his deposit?
    4. Say youve changed your mind as you like your own space and that you shouldnt have offered as you are too generous for your own good and dont like to be taken advantage of, but he can still be your friend as long as he doesnt visit.


    Just print off your post and mail it him. Its quite understandable you like your own space and he will undestand.

    Just be straight with him.
 
 
 
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