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    #1

    Feel like such a ***** tbh :/ keep pissing people off and am just ashamed of how horrible i actually am. Feel like everything on the exterior is a lie and that people don't get what a nasty person i acc am

    sorry just getting that off my chest and finally admitting it
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    Could be true
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feel like such a ***** tbh :/ keep pissing people off and am just ashamed of how horrible i actually am. Feel like everything on the exterior is a lie and that people don't get what a nasty person i acc am

    sorry just getting that off my chest and finally admitting it
    don't worry if you feel bad then your not naturally evil
    sometimes I be mean to people it makes me feel good 😂😂
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feel like such a ***** tbh :/ keep pissing people off and am just ashamed of how horrible i actually am. Feel like everything on the exterior is a lie and that people don't get what a nasty person i acc am

    sorry just getting that off my chest and finally admitting it
    Very Good!
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    How about you tell us why you feel like a horrible person? Then we can decide if you actually are?
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    (Original post by DanteTheDoorKnob)
    Could be true
    that's because it is

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    don't worry if you feel bad then your not naturally evil
    sometimes I be mean to people it makes me feel good 😂😂
    see consciously i care about being nice and good and stuff but when im not careful and don't control my thoughts i think all sorts of nasty manipulative things :/ also i'm so cold and calculated but that is another story lol
    aha well depends who they are i guess
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    Just try and think first?

    Though if you feel bad about it then it's not like you're naturally a horrible person.

    Good job on admitting it!!

    Pretty sure we all have that side! Mine comes out sometimes! :ashamed:
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    (Original post by ODES_PDES)
    Very Good!
    :yy:

    (Original post by TercioOfParma)
    How about you tell us why you feel like a horrible person? Then we can decide if you actually are?
    lol well it is a long list so idk if ppl are bothered to read itt but off the top of my head:
    -I'm horrible and irritable to the few people who actually care about me
    -Didn't feel sad when people have died (yes they were close) and well i don't really want to say all that but that is one of the main reasons why i think im so evil
    -Im selfish and even though i care about people i wouldnt do something to help someone if it disadvantaged myself
    -Im moody
    -I have been horrible to people in the past and treated them badly
    -I lose friends so easily because i'm an obsessive weirdo who gets infatuated with people
    -I'm really unattractive
    -People think i am so nice and friendly but i have to force a lot of it
    -Im aloof and stubborn
    -Wish my sexuality was like everyone else
    -I hate myself so can't expect anyone else to like me if i cant


    that's all i can think of for now but loads more lol
    TLDR

    and sorry iEthan i think this is in the wrong forum
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    that's because it is



    see consciously i care about being nice and good and stuff but when im not careful and don't control my thoughts i think all sorts of nasty manipulative things :/ also i'm so cold and calculated but that is another story lol
    aha well depends who they are i guess
    Thinking and doing are different. No idea whether you are nice or not, but will take your word for it. You dont sound happy.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :yy:


    lol well it is a long list so idk if ppl are bothered to read itt but off the top of my head:
    -I'm horrible and irritable to the few people who actually care about me
    -Didn't feel sad when people have died (yes they were close) and well i don't really want to say all that but that is one of the main reasons why i think im so evil
    -Im selfish and even though i care about people i wouldnt do something to help someone if it disadvantaged myself
    -Im moody
    -I have been horrible to people in the past and treated them badly
    -I lose friends so easily because i'm an obsessive weirdo who gets infatuated with people
    -I'm really unattractive
    -People think i am so nice and friendly but i have to force a lot of it
    -Im aloof and stubborn
    -Wish my sexuality was like everyone else
    -I hate myself so can't expect anyone else to like me if i cant


    that's all i can think of for now but loads more lol
    TLDR

    and sorry iEthan i think this is in the wrong forum
    I went through a lot of that, the key is to stop hating yourself. People will think of you what you think of yourself since you tend to project your feelings through body language.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Feel like such a ***** tbh :/ keep pissing people off and am just ashamed of how horrible i actually am. Feel like everything on the exterior is a lie and that people don't get what a nasty person i acc am

    sorry just getting that off my chest and finally admitting it
    Teach me your ways.. Yes I'm serious!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :yy:


    lol well it is a long list so idk if ppl are bothered to read itt but off the top of my head:
    -I'm horrible and irritable to the few people who actually care about me
    -Didn't feel sad when people have died (yes they were close) and well i don't really want to say all that but that is one of the main reasons why i think im so evil
    -Im selfish and even though i care about people i wouldnt do something to help someone if it disadvantaged myself
    -Im moody
    -I have been horrible to people in the past and treated them badly
    -I lose friends so easily because i'm an obsessive weirdo who gets infatuated with people
    -I'm really unattractive
    -People think i am so nice and friendly but i have to force a lot of it
    -Im aloof and stubborn
    -Wish my sexuality was like everyone else
    -I hate myself so can't expect anyone else to like me if i cant


    that's all i can think of for now but loads more lol
    TLDR

    and sorry iEthan i think this is in the wrong forum
    I think you could try to work on those things, one at a time, until you're happy with yourself (apart from sexuality - you don't need to work on that, just feel comfortable enough, which is probably not easy at school/during A-levels). Eg if you find yourself being horrible to someone or about to say/do something horrible, try to stop yourself. If people are showing that they care, appreciate it, maybe ask about them, ask if they want to hang out, that kind of thing.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Thinking and doing are different. No idea whether you are nice or not, but will take your word for it. You dont sound happy.
    yeah im not nice.
    and ik but i shouldn't even have nasty thoughts in the first place
    and no im not tbh even tho i pretend i am but can say it on anon that no im not at all.

    (Original post by TercioOfParma)
    I went through a lot of that, the key is to stop hating yourself. People will think of you what you think of yourself since you tend to project your feelings through body language.
    ik but it is hard not to when there is so much to hate
    and yeah you have a good point there tbh, i always look quite hostile and i'm so ashamed of my body that i walk in a very unconfident way

    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Teach me your ways.. Yes I'm serious!
    why would you want to be like that tho?

    (Original post by SeanFM)
    I think you could try to work on those things, one at a time, until you're happy with yourself (apart from sexuality - you don't need to work on that, just feel comfortable enough, which is probably not easy at school/during A-levels). Eg if you find yourself being horrible to someone or about to say/do something horrible, try to stop yourself. If people are showing that they care, appreciate it, maybe ask about them, ask if they want to hang out, that kind of thing.
    yeah i do try to, but that is the thing. i have to try to. idk why i can't just be naturally like happy and friendly and nice. and no i don't find that easy at all which probably doesn't help things tbh. Thing is i never really do anything, it is more just what i think and how cold i am about things like idk :/
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah im not nice.
    and ik but i shouldn't even have nasty thoughts in the first place
    and no im not tbh even tho i pretend i am but can say it on anon that no im not at all.


    ik but it is hard not to when there is so much to hate
    and yeah you have a good point there tbh, i always look quite hostile and i'm so ashamed of my body that i walk in a very unconfident way


    why would you want to be like that tho?



    yeah i do try to, but that is the thing. i have to try to. idk why i can't just be naturally like happy and friendly and nice. and no i don't find that easy at all which probably doesn't help things tbh. Thing is i never really do anything, it is more just what i think and how cold i am about things like idk :/
    I used to hate myself as well, I don't now and things have gotten significantly better since I stopped hating myself. It took me a good 2-3 months of isolation but I managed it.
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    Dunno OP. I dont know you so cnat guage whether you are indeed not nice or its just an exaggerated poor image you have of yourself. In any event im not sure whether you wnat to do anything about it.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    yeah im not nice.
    and ik but i shouldn't even have nasty thoughts in the first place
    and no im not tbh even tho i pretend i am but can say it on anon that no im not at all.


    ik but it is hard not to when there is so much to hate
    and yeah you have a good point there tbh, i always look quite hostile and i'm so ashamed of my body that i walk in a very unconfident way


    why would you want to be like that tho?



    yeah i do try to, but that is the thing. i have to try to. idk why i can't just be naturally like happy and friendly and nice. and no i don't find that easy at all which probably doesn't help things tbh. Thing is i never really do anything, it is more just what i think and how cold i am about things like idk :/
    I think that when you grow up you experience things that shape who you are, how you think and how you act around people. Bullying or abusive/distant parents are examples of something that can affect you in quite a negative way, and it sucks - it's not easy to reverse but you have to work on it as best you can, realise what's right and wrong and try to stop all the bad things that go on - sometimes you can get help for this.
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    (Original post by TercioOfParma)
    I used to hate myself as well, I don't now and things have gotten significantly better since I stopped hating myself. It took me a good 2-3 months of isolation but I managed it.
    How did you stop may i ask? isolation?

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Dunno OP. I dont know you so cnat guage whether you are indeed not nice or its just an exaggerated poor image you have of yourself. In any event im not sure whether you wnat to do anything about it.
    Probably both because it is hard to be objective but in a way i can judge better because all anyone ever sees is an exterior i guess. and i do but i don't know how because it is how i actually think not what i actually do so much. Like i'm a very polite courteous person etc but i have to repress bad thoughts so idk how i would not have said thoughts in the first place. and yeh this is mostly a vent tbh i guess
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    How did you stop may i ask? isolation?


    Probably both because it is hard to be objective but in a way i can judge better because all anyone ever sees is an exterior i guess. and i do but i don't know how because it is how i actually think not what i actually do so much. Like i'm a very polite courteous person etc but i have to repress bad thoughts so idk how i would not have said thoughts in the first place. and yeh this is mostly a vent tbh i guess
    I realised that hating myself wasn't endearing myself to other people. I also noticed that a lot of other people were weaker and had much laxer morals than me and still didn't hate themselves as I did. That made me realise that there was no sense in hating myself since In a lot of ways I am a better person than those, so I resolved to make myself realise my own self worth, and eventually I did.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)


    lol well it is a long list so idk if ppl are bothered to read itt but off the top of my head:
    -I'm horrible and irritable to the few people who actually care about me
    -Didn't feel sad when people have died (yes they were close) and well i don't really want to say all that but that is one of the main reasons why i think im so evil
    -Im selfish and even though i care about people i wouldnt do something to help someone if it disadvantaged myself
    -Im moody
    -I have been horrible to people in the past and treated them badly
    -I lose friends so easily because i'm an obsessive weirdo who gets infatuated with people
    -I'm really unattractive
    -People think i am so nice and friendly but i have to force a lot of it
    -Im aloof and stubborn
    -Wish my sexuality was like everyone else
    -I hate myself so can't expect anyone else to like me if i cant


    that's all i can think of for now but loads more lol
    TLDR

    and sorry iEthan i think this is in the wrong forum
    Im sure thre are many nice qualities about you!
    I doubt you are all of these things! People can be *******s at times so maybe thats why theyre leaving you?
    But focus on your good qualities and build up your self confidence!!!
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :yy:


    lol well it is a long list so idk if ppl are bothered to read itt but off the top of my head:
    -I'm horrible and irritable to the few people who actually care about me
    -Didn't feel sad when people have died (yes they were close) and well i don't really want to say all that but that is one of the main reasons why i think im so evil
    -Im selfish and even though i care about people i wouldnt do something to help someone if it disadvantaged myself
    -Im moody
    -I have been horrible to people in the past and treated them badly
    -I lose friends so easily because i'm an obsessive weirdo who gets infatuated with people
    -I'm really unattractive
    -People think i am so nice and friendly but i have to force a lot of it
    -Im aloof and stubborn
    -Wish my sexuality was like everyone else
    -I hate myself so can't expect anyone else to like me if i cant


    that's all i can think of for now but loads more lol
    TLDR

    and sorry iEthan i think this is in the wrong forum
    Nah, you're all right really. I'm in the same boat as you for 2/3 of that stuff. I think more people than you realise are the same way. It actually reflects well on you that you realise when you treat people badly. There are people who are just continually horrible to the people around them, because they don't care, but you obviously do care - or you would not have made this thread! - so you are not one of those people.

    I think a lot of this is what's called negative self-talk. The way we think about ourselves and talk to ourselves in each of our own minds matters a lot and affects our words and actions more than many people realise. If you start telling yourself that you are a good, pleasant person who is friendly and who wants the best for people, that will become more true every time you think it. Part of it, I think, is confirmation bias - if you tell yourself that you're a good and nice person, you'll notice the evidence in your life that supports that belief, and you'll go out of your way to create evidence for it by acting accordingly.

    Here, have a hug: :hugs:
 
 
 
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