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    So long story short I got bullied in halls, moved halls and got bullied again.
    I have now found a house to live in for next year with three girls that are going into third year who are really close and have known each other since freshers week when they were in first year. They are quite outgoing and have lots of friends while I don't have a single friend. I'm scared that they will think I'm a loser because they said they like people who go out and have fun and I don't do that because I don't have friends.
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    Really sorry to hear you got bullied. Are you happy to move in with them, was it by choice or random?

    As a minimum you need to be confident in yourself, polute, sociable and open minded.

    They might be a clique or they might be quite nice and include you. Just be willing to get involved, dont forget you dont know them as well and see how things pan out. If they are nice then maybe there friends will be as well. Im not sure id tell them what you just said as its a fresh start for you. If they do include you then be appreciative without overdoing it.

    I hope they are nice for you and you make new friends.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Really sorry to hear you got bullied. Are you happy to move in with them, was it by choice or random?

    As a minimum you need to be confident in yourself, polute, sociable and open minded.

    They might be a clique or they might be quite nice and include you. Just be willing to get involved, dont forget you dont know them as well and see how things pan out. If they are nice then maybe there friends will be as well. Im not sure id tell them what you just said as its a fresh start for you. If they do include you then be appreciative without overdoing it.

    I hope they are nice for you and you make new friends.
    They advertised it on facebook. They desperately need someone but they're all outgoing people who like to get drunk and have fun, which I also like. But I recently made the decision to quit drinking and I'm really shy and my confidence and self-esteem is gone since I have been bullied twice. I'm not fun anymore unless I'm drunk which I can't be all the time and I don't have a single friend.
    My current flatmates in halls are preventing me from getting a room in a house share. I keep messaging people on facebook and they have just happened to be friends with my flatmates who never have anything good to say about me and in the end I'm not offered a room. I really don't want to move in with them but there is nowhere else and I'm terrified of getting bullied again. I've lost sleep over this.
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    (Original post by Rox1995)
    They advertised it on facebook. They desperately need someone but they're all outgoing people who like to get drunk and have fun, which I also like. But I recently made the decision to quit drinking and I'm really shy and my confidence and self-esteem is gone since I have been bullied twice. I'm not fun anymore unless I'm drunk which I can't be all the time and I don't have a single friend.
    My current flatmates in halls are preventing me from getting a room in a house share. I keep messaging people on facebook and they have just happened to be friends with my flatmates who never have anything good to say about me and in the end I'm not offered a room. I really don't want to move in with them but there is nowhere else and I'm terrified of getting bullied again. I've lost sleep over this.
    People can be really crap. Im sorry you have experienced all this. With any luck these three will be older and not anything to do with your other ex friends. that means a fresh start. Presumably you had an interview with all three?

    If you like the room and like them, then why not go out for lunch with them or even a few. You can tell them part of the story, which imo would be that you are looking forward to moving in with them, but you can be a bit shy and quiet sometimes, until you get to know people. Just tell them you are a bit nervous about them being an established three, so youd appreciate it if they were a bit patient?

    That can put them on notice without them having to feel sorry for you or feeling you are a burden. They might be great, hopefully they are just as interested in getting good grades and working. You will still need to socialise (that doesnt mean getting drunk always) be open minded and make an effort. Perhaps getting to know them will reassure you.

    If they arent interested, then find somewhere else, but as they need someone for the room at the very least and it doesnt take much effort to be friendly, then fingers crossed for you.
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    holy crap. Sorry to hear this OP. I would have thought at university level people would have matured.

    I suggest getting the first one in a headlock and jk... lol.

    Why were you bullied OP?
    All my housemates drink except for me. On the first week of moving in I established im alpha male and dont f*ck with me.
    Im not mean to anyone, i wouldnt hurt a fly. And they show me respect back.
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    (Original post by Rox1995)
    So long story short I got bullied in halls, moved halls and got bullied again.
    I have now found a house to live in for next year with three girls that are going into third year who are really close and have known each other since freshers week when they were in first year. They are quite outgoing and have lots of friends while I don't have a single friend. I'm scared that they will think I'm a loser because they said they like people who go out and have fun and I don't do that because I don't have friends.
    So sorry to hear about your bullying OP, people can be really crap sometimes.

    as for the outgoing thing, firstly you need confidence in yourself. spend some time doing things you enjoy, and make sure that your happy with yourself completetly, dont try changing who you are to fit these girls, they should accept you for who you are... and if that means you (i dont know just an obscure example) wore your underwear on top of your trousers then thats you! go for it!

    I see a lot of paralells in myself and yourself, I also recently just gave up drinking, but does that means Im less fun, no not at all. for me I would go to pre-drinks and just drink non-alcoholic drinks, and then retire to my room when they went to the club. I am not a fan of the drunken atmosphere in the nightclubs sadly. also make sure you speak to them about your choices, often if you educate the people around you as to why you make those choices they are more accepting.

    I really hope that you can find some happiness in your flatmates next year. who is to say they cant have a 4th amigo infiltrate their group. feel free to pm me anytime if you need anyone to talk to, I have been through a very similar situation with my flatmates.
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    Btw can we have some more suggestions please on how the OP might deal with this? CoolCavy Ethereal World.

    She could really do with peoples input. Must be crap to go through Uni having rubbish experiences like this.
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    OP I second the suggestion to try and spend some time with your new flatmates before moving in. Add them on facebook, try and meet for coffee/a few drinks and have a night out so that you all go into next year feeling like you're getting on. Then try not to let your anxieties from last year affect next year, every flat is a fresh start and there's no reason to assume there will be a problem until there is one.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    People can be really crap. Im sorry you have experienced all this. With any luck these three will be older and not anything to do with your other ex friends. that means a fresh start. Presumably you had an interview with all three?

    If you like the room and like them, then why not go out for lunch with them or even a few. You can tell them part of the story, which imo would be that you are looking forward to moving in with them, but you can be a bit shy and quiet sometimes, until you get to know people. Just tell them you are a bit nervous about them being an established three, so youd appreciate it if they were a bit patient?

    That can put them on notice without them having to feel sorry for you or feeling you are a burden. They might be great, hopefully they are just as interested in getting good grades and working. You will still need to socialise (that doesnt mean getting drunk always) be open minded and make an effort. Perhaps getting to know them will reassure you.

    If they arent interested, then find somewhere else, but as they need someone for the room at the very least and it doesnt take much effort to be friendly, then fingers crossed for you.
    Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it. Unfortunately the three girls took back their offer of a room in their house since my flatmates got to them before I even had a chance to get to know them. They did offer me a room after "interviewing" me but after hearing what my flatmates had to say about me they withdrew the offer. They even called me an emotionless freak that everybody hates and they don't even know me

    Should I just drop out and go home? No one likes me here anyways I don't know how to make friends anymore.I spoke to the three girls for 10 min and before that I went 2 months without speaking to a person face to face, if I do speak to someone in person it is my family. I'm an european student so I cant go home on the weekends since flight tickets are really expensive.
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    (Original post by ripjonsnow)
    holy crap. Sorry to hear this OP. I would have thought at university level people would have matured.

    I suggest getting the first one in a headlock and jk... lol.

    Why were you bullied OP?
    All my housemates drink except for me. On the first week of moving in I established im alpha male and dont f*ck with me.
    Im not mean to anyone, i wouldnt hurt a fly. And they show me respect back.
    I was bullied because I was accused of doing something I never did. One girl told the rest of the people in my halls and other halls and they all started hating on me, I tried talking to them but they did not listen and in the end I was forced to move. I'm currently being bullied because this girl from my old halls has talked to the people in my new halls and they genuinely think I did what I was accused of doing, obviously I tried talking to them but they went straight to the girl. She told them and everyone else that I'm a liar and that everyone hates me. And now I'm stuck here having to deal with the consequences of what someone else did. Whenever I try to talk to people they recognize me as the girl no one likes and just ignore me. I have spent more time alone in uni than with other people
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    (Original post by Rox1995)
    Thanks for the advice I really appreciate it. Unfortunately the three girls took back their offer of a room in their house since my flatmates got to them before I even had a chance to get to know them. They did offer me a room after "interviewing" me but after hearing what my flatmates had to say about me they withdrew the offer. They even called me an emotionless freak that everybody hates and they don't even know me

    Should I just drop out and go home? No one likes me here anyways I don't know how to make friends anymore.I spoke to the three girls for 10 min and before that I went 2 months without speaking to a person face to face, if I do speak to someone in person it is my family. I'm an european student so I cant go home on the weekends since flight tickets are really expensive.
    Wow this is really rubbish. I cnat say OP becayse im not there and im not you, which makes all the difference on decisions. Were I in your position, then I would weight things up.

    How I was performing on my degree. Youve invested 2 years and a lot of money, so if your studies are going well, then id just graduate with the best degree you can. Id weigh that against how happy or sad I was. Normally id think stay and do well in the degree if you can.

    Theres still an option you cna find somewhere else where people dont know you and the bullies cant get at you. have you been to your student welfare services and see what they have to say because it sounds like these people are carrying on being bullies, but you would need evidence. Have a word with them

    Option 1 Find somewhere new where the people dont know the bullies and wont care. Finish degree.

    Option 2 seek a transfer at a new uni and finish your 3rd year there. You will be away from the bullies and can ahve a chance at a fresh start plus it might reduce anxiety. Its a drastic measure, but you have your mental health to think about as well. You would need to get a move on though.

    You might also want to speak to your GP to check you are ok and dont have some sort of issue with socialising. You need to have the confidence to talk to people and have a laugh. Just believe you cna sort this out and whatever choice you make you cna be stronger for it. Dont let it get to you, its crao, but If I were on my own I'd just get my degree. they arent the sort of friends you want anyway. Dont let them get you down and work on option 1 and 2.
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    (Original post by Natalierm2707)
    So sorry to hear about your bullying OP, people can be really crap sometimes.

    as for the outgoing thing, firstly you need confidence in yourself. spend some time doing things you enjoy, and make sure that your happy with yourself completetly, dont try changing who you are to fit these girls, they should accept you for who you are... and if that means you (i dont know just an obscure example) wore your underwear on top of your trousers then thats you! go for it!

    I see a lot of paralells in myself and yourself, I also recently just gave up drinking, but does that means Im less fun, no not at all. for me I would go to pre-drinks and just drink non-alcoholic drinks, and then retire to my room when they went to the club. I am not a fan of the drunken atmosphere in the nightclubs sadly. also make sure you speak to them about your choices, often if you educate the people around you as to why you make those choices they are more accepting.

    I really hope that you can find some happiness in your flatmates next year. who is to say they cant have a 4th amigo infiltrate their group. feel free to pm me anytime if you need anyone to talk to, I have been through a very similar situation with my flatmates.
    I cant pm you. it says Natalierm2707 has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space.
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    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Wow this is really rubbish. I cnat say OP becayse im not there and im not you, which makes all the difference on decisions. Were I in your position, then I would weight things up.

    How I was performing on my degree. Youve invested 2 years and a lot of money, so if your studies are going well, then id just graduate with the best degree you can. Id weigh that against how happy or sad I was. Normally id think stay and do well in the degree if you can.

    Theres still an option you cna find somewhere else where people dont know you and the bullies cant get at you. have you been to your student welfare services and see what they have to say because it sounds like these people are carrying on being bullies, but you would need evidence. Have a word with them

    Option 1 Find somewhere new where the people dont know the bullies and wont care. Finish degree.

    Option 2 seek a transfer at a new uni and finish your 3rd year there. You will be away from the bullies and can ahve a chance at a fresh start plus it might reduce anxiety. Its a drastic measure, but you have your mental health to think about as well. You would need to get a move on though.

    You might also want to speak to your GP to check you are ok and dont have some sort of issue with socialising. You need to have the confidence to talk to people and have a laugh. Just believe you cna sort this out and whatever choice you make you cna be stronger for it. Dont let it get to you, its crao, but If I were on my own I'd just get my degree. they arent the sort of friends you want anyway. Dont let them get you down and work on option 1 and 2.
    I'm in my first year actually. I start 2nd year after summer.
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    (Original post by Rox1995)
    I'm in my first year actually. I start 2nd year after summer.
    If they have soured it for you, then id consider transferring. there will be people out there who dont know them, so you cna sill stay and have a good time. Talk to people like your tutor, welfare services at the uni. Do well in your exams. Bullying is immature, cowardly and rubbish. Hang in there.

    You need to speak to someone at the Uni welfare services.
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    If you feel like you have no friends OP. Ill be your friend
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    (Original post by Rox1995)
    I cant pm you. it says Natalierm2707 has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space.
    apologies, I will clear some space so try again if you like.
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    Damn, like others have said bullying at uni isn't that common.
    The rumour must've been rather serious for this to happen...
    Difficult to say without knowing context but is there no way you can disprove it?

    If I were you I'd talk to your uni support staff, welfare officers, SU, personal tutors and see if they have advice.
    Could always live alone? or with non-students (though that incurs tax costs) if you want to continue.
    Perhaps it might be an idea to transfer uni? better than dropping out, and will give you the chance to start again.
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    Makes me a bit sad more people havent commented on this. It must be really crap to have bullies who will go out of their way to try and isolate you. Normally Uni is such a big place and if you dont get on with someone, then you cna a void and plenty of other people know nothing about you. Living a further 2 years in fear of being bullied and unhappy is not mu idea of a uni experience, so I would be tempted to transfer for a second chance and where people wont know. Its partly running away, but also common sense and better than 2 years worrying or feeling isolated.

    If i really was being bullied id get the evidence and make a complaint before I left so they had it on their records. Such behaviour is disgusting. You should look up tour unis bullying policy. It has to be more thna not just getting along, but the fact they are going out of their way to intimidate and make things difficult for you.
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    People at university can actually be really cruel. I know this from personal experience. Actually I'm dropping out of uni and going elsewhere partially because of it.

    If you really feel like you're getting nowhere I'd definitely suggest transferring university if it's possible for you to do so. If not I'm pretty sure you can see someone at your university who can help and give you support, just takes a bit of research.

    Hope you get sorted and keep your chin up.
 
 
 
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