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Can you be friends with someone you like? Watch

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    This girl and I were always friends through secondary school, but I had always found her attractive and we grew to be better friends when we first started college. Throughout college up to a few months ago we got much closer and ended up liking each other romantically, however it didn't work as she ditched me just before we got to the dating stage and then out of the blue started chatting to a new lad a week later .(Which I still resent her for) She then claimed she just wanted to be friends with me. However I still like her and she's naturally a flirty person and it doesn't help at all. It's turned pretty sour and we no longer talk anymore. However I have never got on better with anybody in my life and I think I'll struggle to get on with anybody better than she and I did. But I don't want to be her mate while she goes off with someone else at all, I struggle to see her as a friend and always something more because that's what she made it feel like throughout the whole time I got to know her better.

    Whenever I speak to her I start to like her again and I was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience before and is friends with someone that they like/liked?
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    This girl and I were always friends through secondary school, but I had always found her attractive and we grew to be better friends when we first started college. Throughout college up to a few months ago we got much closer and ended up liking each other romantically, however it didn't work as she ditched me just before we got to the dating stage and then out of the blue started chatting to a new lad a week later .(Which I still resent her for) She then claimed she just wanted to be friends with me. However I still like her and she's naturally a flirty person and it doesn't help at all. It's turned pretty sour and we no longer talk anymore. However I have never got on better with anybody in my life and I think I'll struggle to get on with anybody better than she and I did. But I don't want to be her mate while she goes off with someone else at all, I struggle to see her as a friend and always something more because that's what she made it feel like throughout the whole time I got to know her better.

    Whenever I speak to her I start to like her again and I was wondering if anyone else has had the same experience before and is friends with someone that they like/liked?
    I would recommend just ignoring her completely. A lot of people in this situation will convince themselves that they still want to be friends with the girl, without realizing that it's only because of the slither of hope that she will start liking them.

    What happens in reality is that the guy ends up becoming too needy and insecure around the girl, ironically ruining any chance that he once had with her. Meanwhile, they girl will love the attention/ validation she gets from having someone like you, so she'll probably try to keep you reeled in by occasionally dropping ambiguous flirtatious hints. This isn't because she finds you attractive, sorry.
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    I prefer being friends with people I don't like.
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    Wouldn't know.

    I only make friends with people I don't like.
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    It gets messy. Especially when they reject you.
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    Had this experience. I think once you've been rejected friendship is doomed. Put the energy in to finding someone who is seriously up for it with you. You can think about being friends, once you're getting your oats elsewhere, if it still matters that is.
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    I have to be friends with people before I like them

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    Yes you can but it's hard.

    I liked a girl about 2 years ago, tried to make a move, we ended up being really good friends, I still had feelings for her though. About one year later I decided to tell her, she rejected me, 'I really like you but only as a friend' blabla. Then it got really messy the 6 following months (we had lots of arguments, going out with her all the time only to see her flirting with other guys wasn't a good idea). For a few months now I haven't thought about her anymore and we still see each other quite often.

    Anyway, you can ONLY be friends with someone you like if you accept the idea that you will never be with them and if you find another person you like.
 
 
 
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