My GF says my lecturer fancies me.... I kind of hope she does. Watch

Anonymous #1
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I'm a mature student in his late 20's who is studying social sciences at college in Edinburgh and loving every minute of it. After years of being a structural engineer and hating it, I've finally found my calling. I'm now amongst a class of women pupils (mostly young) and female lecturers. Sounds great on paper; not so great in practice. Certain life events have caused me to have certain... issues. Depression and low self-esteem and general mental un-wellness(wouldn't go as far as 'illness.') My mind is a complicated place which has it's pro's and cons. Good for social sciences; bad for anxiety etc. Being surrounded by girls made my confidence worse as I'd be constantly nervous and over-think everything! However, I do feel like I'm getting a grip on it and regaining my self-esteem. I did find it difficult to feel attractive even though I get constant reinforcement from girls. I'd explain compliments away as sympathy or girls with a muscle fetish (I am a serious gym rat as it helps retain my mental equilibrium) I also get told I'm handsome, which I am now starting to believe again. Now for the crux of the matter: One of my lecturers is pretty fond of me. I innocently explain the things that she says and does to my girlfriend or show her e-mails or feedback I get from her, and my GF is convinced this woman fancies me. I state that it is simply because we are about the same age and I make her lecturing easier. However, there are times when I wonder myself... Topics of conversations about bodies and fitness, and how fit she is etc etc; laughing at unfunny jokes of mine; over-the-top compliments on my standard of work; extended eye-contact: getting close enough to smell each other and even the odd touch on the arm; vibes that I feel like she's showing off a bit when I give her a positive reaction to something she says while lecturing(she is excellent at her job) then getting embarrassed after she's taken it too far; not to mention mild compliments I pay to other female students which garner a slight(possibly imagined) facial expression change. The point is, am I imagining this or am I being blind to the signs, as my girlfriend says I always am when it comes to female advances or interest(with her in the beginning also). She says, 'I'm a girl, I know the signs.' But don't all girls imagine other women fancying their boyfriend? I'm bloody confused, and part of me wishes that my GF is right. This lecturer would literally be my perfect woman.... Or maybe this is all some weird infactuation which ultimately means nothing?
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Muchaco
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Dude, after reading all this, all I can say is that you're in! If she's a mature girl and she's not playing with you, these signs mean something most definitely.
I'd say this all depends on you now, on your moves.
Btw isn't relationships with your lecturers/teachers like against the law or something?
And does she know that you have a girlfriend?
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Rock Fan
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Sounds like if part of you is hoping that she fancies you, also suggests perhaps all isn't well in your relationship or gone a bit stale and routine.
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Anonymous #1
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It just seems so far fetched to think that's how she feels. She's a classy, intelligent and very good lecturer. Not to mention hot. Plus, how the hell would you approach it if I was wanting something to happen!? We've got so many of the same views and ideas and if I met her in the pub we'd hit it off immediately, but she's my lecturer!! Meet your ideal woman in a situation which makes it impossible to act on it. Major bummer
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ironingplaylist
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Haha I agree, seems like shes into you. But your GF, what about her?
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Orange s0da
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Time to trade up.
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LiquidGold
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It just seems so far fetched to think that's how she feels. She's a classy, intelligent and very good lecturer. Not to mention hot. Plus, how the hell would you approach it if I was wanting something to happen!? We've got so many of the same views and ideas and if I met her in the pub we'd hit it off immediately, but she's my lecturer!! Meet your ideal woman in a situation which makes it impossible to act on it. Major bummer
Whether it goes anywhere with this woman or not you clearly need to think seriously if you want to be with your current girlfriend... sounds like you're looking for a reason to break up to be honest!

Do you not think your girlfriend is classy and intelligent? And shouldn't you think that she is (near enough) your perfect woman?
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999tigger
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Phhhew overthinking it much.? Decide what you want and then get on with it.
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Anonymous #1
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My current GF is someone whom I love, but there isn't the same spark. We've been together for a good few years now and she has 2 kids (not my kids but I've taken them on) and life has just been kind of stressful I guess. I'm just scared to be the guy who does the 'right thing' but never really becomes happy. There's a lot of duty and obligation going on if you know what I mean. The whole dream girl thing seems just that; a dream! Life is never that perfect.
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Muchaco
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Whatever happens, keep us informed please!
I'd dare to say that this type of situation, if it turns out well, is a fantasy of every guy out here
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M14B
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I am a bit lost as to the genders here.
Is this triangle involve 3 females?
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Blondie987
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Tbh regardless of whether or not she actually does fancy you, don't you think your gf deserves better than you pining for attention from other women??
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It's****ingWOODY
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(Original post by Muchaco)
Whatever happens, keep us informed please!
I'd dare to say that this type of situation, if it turns out well, is a fantasy of every guy out here
Speak for yourself :lol: When I was at college one of my tutors was always really flirty with me, everyone could see it. She was hot, 7 years older than me but I'd definitely have cracked on and I'm pretty certain she'd have been all to recriprocal - BUT I wasn't single at the time. I'm loyal and strong willed, but it was tough man. It's like being on a diet and someone waving your favourite junk food in your face :lol: the attention was nice but I'd rather it just didn't happen.
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Anonymous #1
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Yes, she does deserve better and I do love her. Hence, the problem. I'm not 'pining for attention from other women.' Its just that someone else has come along to make me question my relationship. I don't feel good or happy about having these thoughts and I would never cheat on her. Can't help the thoughts though. I mean its obviously playing on my mind if I've bothered to post on here. Life isn't all ideal romance, things lose their spark after a few years and usually I wouldn't be moved by thoughts of other girls but this lecturer is on the same level as me, which I generally feel most people aren't(not in an egotistical intellingence way. In an ideas kind of way). Its not 3 girls btw, to answer someone else's question. I'm a guy.
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Muchaco
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(Original post by WoodyMKC)
Speak for yourself :lol: When I was at college one of my tutors was always really flirty with me, everyone could see it. She was hot, 7 years older than me but I'd definitely have cracked on and I'm pretty certain she'd have been all to recriprocal - BUT I wasn't single at the time. I'm loyal and strong willed, but it was tough man. It's like being on a diet and someone waving your favourite junk food in your face :lol: the attention was nice but I'd rather it just didn't happen.
I understand you completely man, it's nice that you're faithful, but if you were single.. Nothing would hold you back, that's the nice thing about being single
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It's****ingWOODY
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(Original post by Muchaco)
I understand you completely man, it's nice that you're faithful, but if you were single.. Nothing would hold you back that's the nice thing about being single
Not wrong there :lol: She used to do this thing where she'd be talking my work over with me and as she paid me a compliment she'd lay her head down on the table like she was tired, and then look up at me and stare me in the eyes trying to look cute... and it ****ing worked :coma:
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georgiaswift
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, she does deserve better and I do love her. Hence, the problem. I'm not 'pining for attention from other women.' Its just that someone else has come along to make me question my relationship. I don't feel good or happy about having these thoughts and I would never cheat on her. Can't help the thoughts though. I mean its obviously playing on my mind if I've bothered to post on here. Life isn't all ideal romance, things lose their spark after a few years and usually I wouldn't be moved by thoughts of other girls but this lecturer is on the same level as me, which I generally feel most people aren't(not in an egotistical intellingence way. In an ideas kind of way). Its not 3 girls btw, to answer someone else's question. I'm a guy.
If an infatuation with one of your lecturers has caused you to lost faith in the validity of your relationship with your girlfriend, she's not the right one for you. She deserves someone who will and can fully commit and love her the same way she loves you, and you can't and aren't providing that.
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SoDoneWithSchool
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Damnn. Sounds like she does have a thing for you dude.
But I'd suggest making somewhat of a decision and trust me if your not feeling the vibe there with your gf, it'd be better to end it, both for you and her. Before anyone gets hurt.
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It's also true that other girls can tell most of the time if someone fancies their boyfriend. It's a girl thing. We all so somewhat of the same signs here and there occasionally:lol:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by georgiaswift)
If an infatuation with one of your lecturers has caused you to lost faith in the validity of your relationship with your girlfriend, she's not the right one for you. She deserves someone who will and can fully commit and love her the same way she loves you, and you can't and aren't providing that.
This is a fair point, but there are kids involved so I can't just up sticks and leave them all. I may not be their dad but it would affect them a lot. There is no easy answer and I guess I'm just frustrated at the fact that a great opportunity for happiness could be passing me by.
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indigofox
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Her voice is echoed in my mind
I count the days till she is mine
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