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    I have never really had any friends. I have had people who i speak to school in (i have been private schooled all my life)

    The problem is my year is very *****y and i am just someone who does not want to get involved with all the drama as i just want to get the grades this year and go to University in September.

    I was under the impression that when i start university in September everything would change but as its getting closer i am petrified that what if i still have NO friends when i start university.

    I know the issues are with myself and i do tend to push people away as i am one of those people who wont text first kind of thing and wont ask too come out or do something until i get asked as i am afraid of rejection.

    I can come across as "stuck up" but i am not, people also say they thought i did not like them and i do not know what i do that makes people think this.

    I just want honest opinions on how i can make friends, i am 18 and i just want to go to university and just start fresh. I do not want to be known as the kid with no friends and i honestly just want advice on what i am doing wrong.
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    (Original post by VXRT)

    I know the issues are with myself and i do tend to push people away as i am one of those people who wont text first kind of thing and wont ask too come out or do something until i get asked as i am afraid of rejection.

    I can come across as "stuck up" but i am not, people also say they thought i did not like them and i do not know what i do that makes people think this.
    first step is to take in what people have said about you. second step is to not deny this because sometimes another perspective of you from a third party is something you can't see for yourself. third step is change. and i was like you, afraid of rejection, but sometimes i thought whatever there's nothing to lose
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    (Original post by VXRT)
    I have never really had any friends. I have had people who i speak to school in (i have been private schooled all my life)

    The problem is my year is very *****y and i am just someone who does not want to get involved with all the drama as i just want to get the grades this year and go to University in September.

    I was under the impression that when i start university in September everything would change but as its getting closer i am petrified that what if i still have NO friends when i start university.

    I know the issues are with myself and i do tend to push people away as i am one of those people who wont text first kind of thing and wont ask too come out or do something until i get asked as i am afraid of rejection.

    I can come across as "stuck up" but i am not, people also say they thought i did not like them and i do not know what i do that makes people think this.

    I just want honest opinions on how i can make friends, i am 18 and i just want to go to university and just start fresh. I do not want to be known as the kid with no friends and i honestly just want advice on what i am doing wrong.
    Well to be honest i would not worry about it at all (: , if anything you should take the fact you can concentrate on your exams and not have to be dragged into all of the drama. I myself have a friendship group at the moment but found me and 2 other friends prefer to not sit with all of them as the drama is exactly the same as your situation.. quite frankly a load of crap.

    But i do know a lot of people especially my best friend who found it extremely hard to make friends as her humor made her seem blunt and she lacked confidence. But to be honest when she went to university it all changed. When you go to university its a different life entirely and you have to remember everyone will be in the same situation because 9 times out of 10 no one else has friends there so it will be much easier to make friends whether they are from your lectures. So just remember to try and not push people away and be more open once you go , also the advantage of uni is that there are SOOO many different clubs and hobbies there is one for everyone.Just do not worry about it and you'll make friends whether they are people you live with or just meet. Also do not go for private housing go for a place like halls or shared housing that way you will have a chance to meet so many more people and do not pass on any opportunities , offers to go for a coffee or go play sport take it and run and you'll be fine i guarantee.

    Yours sincerely a friend (:
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    Do you get shy around other people? Is this the problem?
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    Uni is a place where u meet new people so it would be easier to introduce urself. My biggest advice would be :BE YOURSELF
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    (Original post by VXRT)
    I have never really had any friends. I have had people who i speak to school in (i have been private schooled all my life)

    The problem is my year is very *****y and i am just someone who does not want to get involved with all the drama as i just want to get the grades this year and go to University in September.

    I was under the impression that when i start university in September everything would change but as its getting closer i am petrified that what if i still have NO friends when i start university.

    I know the issues are with myself and i do tend to push people away as i am one of those people who wont text first kind of thing and wont ask too come out or do something until i get asked as i am afraid of rejection.

    I can come across as "stuck up" but i am not, people also say they thought i did not like them and i do not know what i do that makes people think this.

    I just want honest opinions on how i can make friends, i am 18 and i just want to go to university and just start fresh. I do not want to be known as the kid with no friends and i honestly just want advice on what i am doing wrong.
    Are you really sure you know what the issues are?
    you literally just said you know the issues with yourself then you said you come across as stuck up but you're not?

    clearly denail, the first step to get no friends.

    Listen to what people say about and improve on your weaknesses
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    (Original post by VXRT)
    I have never really had any friends. I have had people who i speak to school in (i have been private schooled all my life)

    The problem is my year is very *****y and i am just someone who does not want to get involved with all the drama as i just want to get the grades this year and go to University in September.

    I was under the impression that when i start university in September everything would change but as its getting closer i am petrified that what if i still have NO friends when i start university.

    I know the issues are with myself and i do tend to push people away as i am one of those people who wont text first kind of thing and wont ask too come out or do something until i get asked as i am afraid of rejection.

    I can come across as "stuck up" but i am not, people also say they thought i did not like them and i do not know what i do that makes people think this.

    I just want honest opinions on how i can make friends, i am 18 and i just want to go to university and just start fresh. I do not want to be known as the kid with no friends and i honestly just want advice on what i am doing wrong.
    University is a lot better for making friends.
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    (Original post by Tom Jickleson)
    Do you get shy around other people? Is this the problem?
    I have severe confidence issues. They have stemmed from obviously not really being in a very social environment so now its weird.

    I have self-esteem issues and these are obviously the root of the problem. I do get "shy" around people and dont really talk that much and people see this as me being "stuck up". Its difficult to describe something you dont know yourself..
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    (Original post by thefatone)
    Are you really sure you know what the issues are?
    you literally just said you know the issues with yourself then you said you come across as stuck up but you're not?

    clearly denail, the first step to get no friends.

    Listen to what people say about and improve on your weaknesses
    No i do not know the issues as these issues stem from low self confidence and i overcome this by showing inflated self esteem. I am not confident in the slightest and it kind of sucks because people think im "stuck up" which i could well be - Being in a environment of a private school and having 200 stuck up kids in your year does change your own attitude.

    I would not say i am in denial (i dont think anyway) as i know i am the issue and its my own fault.
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    (Original post by amjones081997)
    Well to be honest i would not worry about it at all (: , if anything you should take the fact you can concentrate on your exams and not have to be dragged into all of the drama. I myself have a friendship group at the moment but found me and 2 other friends prefer to not sit with all of them as the drama is exactly the same as your situation.. quite frankly a load of crap.

    But i do know a lot of people especially my best friend who found it extremely hard to make friends as her humor made her seem blunt and she lacked confidence.

    Yours sincerely a friend (:
    I have people who i sit with at lunch and break but its all the same everytime. I do not have any social media as i am scared (stupid i know) of people finding me and making fun of what i post the same as they do too everyone else.

    Thanks for your reply - The part about the university makes me feel better
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    (Original post by ihatePE)
    first step is to take in what people have said about you. second step is to not deny this because sometimes another perspective of you from a third party is something you can't see for yourself. third step is change. and i was like you, afraid of rejection, but sometimes i thought whatever there's nothing to lose
    Thanks for replying

    I agree with you, i know the issue is within myself and i have no one to blame. I know the reason i have no friends is because of my own actions however i just do not know what i am doing wrong.
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    The not talking thing is not great especially when people think that you're full of yourself, but even if you're quiet it can be help to be smiley and cheery whenever people talk to you just so that they know that you're not stuck-up. Try to keep positive even if you don't feel like it inside, and when you go to university, go for things, even if you're not sure about them. That way you'll get to do more things that you enjoy and meet more people who'll like the things you do. Sixth form is a really small place but you don't just have to limit yourself to the things going on there. Everything improves!
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    (Original post by Wisefire)
    Out of curiosity, OP, do you have any preconceptions or preferences or judgements about people when it comes to considering being friends with someone? Do you look at or favour things like people who might be more intelligent, or who might be better looking or better brought up? Do you have these anxieties or some warp on people to any degree? Because I do have a warp on people and I can relate a little bit with some of the things you've written about yourself.
    As much as i know its wrong and would love to say no, but yes i have a tendency to be quick to judge, but i would definitely say i learnt these traits. I have been in the same private school for years so the people here are pretty much the same.

    However i KNOW full well judging people is disgusting, but i would definitely not want to be friends with people who are bad influences - is it because i am better than them? No... I just would rather not be around people who do not do drugs or get involved in criminal behavior, however the misconception is that not everyone who wears a tracksuit per say is the same.

    Its a good question and tbh i do not really know how to answer it but i agree that i can be quick to judge.
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    You are not the only one who feels like this.
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    (Original post by VXRT)
    I have never really had any friends. I have had people who i speak to school in (i have been private schooled all my life)

    The problem is my year is very *****y and i am just someone who does not want to get involved with all the drama as i just want to get the grades this year and go to University in September.

    I was under the impression that when i start university in September everything would change but as its getting closer i am petrified that what if i still have NO friends when i start university.

    I know the issues are with myself and i do tend to push people away as i am one of those people who wont text first kind of thing and wont ask too come out or do something until i get asked as i am afraid of rejection.

    I can come across as "stuck up" but i am not, people also say they thought i did not like them and i do not know what i do that makes people think this.

    I just want honest opinions on how i can make friends, i am 18 and i just want to go to university and just start fresh. I do not want to be known as the kid with no friends and i honestly just want advice on what i am doing wrong.
    tbh i dont think it is you i think its how the younger generation are in general if your not in each others pockets ya not real mates. it changes as you get older as everyone finds out. u will make friends at uni if for no other reason than the mix of people. i would say though if you want to go out and do things pick up your phone and call people send them a text do whatever do feel like you have to be self conscious just enjoy your time there before life has to be all serious an hardly any fun
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    You may have come to the wrong place.
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    (Original post by VXRT)
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    Hey Yeah I'm in (was in?) a similar position.

    I struggled with social anxiety throughout uni so people got bored of me. I felt guilty for dragging them down so I did the decent thing and let it die.

    Also had depression so I got bored of friends from Secondary school and pushed people away - they were dragging me down.

    I'm in a weird situation now where I feel not good enough for the company of some while too good for that of others.

    All I can say is let it drive you to become a better person. Don't moan about it. Make your life beautiful. Become fiercely independent. Live for no one else but yourself. Show the world what you are capable of.

    Not in a overly romanticized way or anything, - just trying to make your motivations soar. It's good to live with the 'I can' mentality, you will make your life worthwhile and meet interesting like-minded people.
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    i know how you feel, and I'm starting to doubt the whole "oh everyone starts fresh at uni" or "everyone will be on their best friend making behaviour" and that no cliques will form but. Literally every course of every uni probably has a Facebook group right now for the next academic year. And i don't even know why I'm complaining, i should just get Facebook after avoiding it for so many years
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    (Original post by queenofswords)
    .Also had depression so I got bored of friends from Secondary school and pushed people away - they were dragging me down.

    I'm in a weird situation now where I feel not good enough for the company of some while too good for that of others.
    Those two lines LITERALLY describe my exact position and you did a better job than me it kind of sucks but its one of those things which i know will be beneficial for me for my exams as i have no distractions although at times i wish i could text my friend and be like "fancy going somewhere tonight" but i guess i will have to wait and see what uni is like

    (Original post by Arima)
    i know how you feel, and I'm starting to doubt the whole "oh everyone starts fresh at uni" or "everyone will be on their best friend making behaviour" and that no cliques will form but. Literally every course of every uni probably has a Facebook group right now for the next academic year. And i don't even know why I'm complaining, i should just get Facebook after avoiding it for so many years
    I deleted all forms of social media (so dumb i know) but i am scared of it, simply because i hate some people that i used to "know" or be "friends" with and tbh i do not want to re-connect with them at all. Also i know i will have to go back to social media at some point as without it its next to impossible in this day and age to make friends and connect with them -.-
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    (Original post by VXRT)
    I have severe confidence issues. They have stemmed from obviously not really being in a very social environment so now its weird.

    I have self-esteem issues and these are obviously the root of the problem. I do get "shy" around people and dont really talk that much and people see this as me being "stuck up". Its difficult to describe something you dont know yourself..
    interesting you say that people think you're stuck up. Do you have aspergers?
 
 
 
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